Under Control
by doeless
Summary: Takes place around season one episode 17 ("Let the Right One In") and season one episode 18 ("Under Control"). Stefan is struggling to control his bloodlust, and during an intimate moment with Elena, he hurts her. Damon swoops in to save the day.
1. Chapter 1

Takes place around season one episode 17 ("Let the Right One In") and season one episode 18 ("Under Control"). Stefan is struggling to control his bloodlust, and during an intimate moment with Elena, he hurts her. Damon swoops in to save the day.

I do not own Vampire Diaries or the characters, though I wish I did.

POV: Elena

Sighing in frustration, I flopped backwards onto my bed and tossed my textbook aside. Waiting for Stefan was pure agony. Actually, now that I was thinking about it, I hadn't seen him since we rescued him from Pearl's gang. Huh. I figured he must be hunting and such. Still, I yearned for the affection and love that he showered down upon me. Sure, he put me on a pedestal, but what girl doesn't want to feel special? Fortunately for me, he was such a good boyfriend, especially compared to Matt, who had to be guided through everything. Not very romantic when you have to constantly remind him how boyfriends should act.

I rolled over onto my stomach and groaned into my pillows. Ugh! Where was he? I know he had things to do, but I had needs! Ever since we'd made the most beautiful love, I was becoming addicted to the feelings. Feeling wanted like that was carnal. It was new. With Matt, he had no idea what he was doing. With Stefan...it was so special. It was like two planets colliding and raining down stars. Absently, I touched my lips at the memory of his kiss. He had been so gentle and flustered over making me feel comfortable. It was nice. Like floating on clouds. He pampered me.

Deciding he wouldn't visit me tonight, I crawled off the bed and began to kick off my shoes. I carelessly threw my loose-fitting tee-shirt over my head and on to the ground. As I was shimmying out of my jeans, I heard the window creak. My heart flew up into my throat as I turned in panic. When I saw who it was, I burst out laughing.

"Stefan! You scared me!" I giggled and walked over to him.

Without thinking, I wrapped myself around him. Slowly, his arms came around me and rubbed my back in a soothing way. I sighed in bliss. Finally.

"Where have you been?" I asked more to myself than Stefan.

I felt Stefan stiffen in my arms and stop petting my back and hair. He pulled back, and I looked up in confusion. Did I do something wrong?

"I had things to do today," He answered in a strained voice.

He seemed visibly upset at my question. This was a red flag, but I had missed him so much, that in the moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to be worshipped.

"I missed you," I breathed and burrowed my face into his hard chest.

Lightly, I nuzzled his upper chest. I felt Stefan's arms run up and down my arms, each time getting closer to my hips. It was driving me crazy. Frustrated, I stood up on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. When I breathed against his mouth, his lips opened, and I hesitantly slid my tongue in. We both shuddered as our lips moved and tongues danced. At first, it was a little awkward. We were still getting a hang of what each other liked.

"Elena," He groaned and pulled back with a tormented look.

His fangs and veins were back, but I was undeterred. I'd seen this before, and honestly, it didn't bother me as much as it did at first. His lips began to shape an excuse to leave, but I wouldn't let him. Sensing his reluctance, I grabbed the waistband of his jeans and roughly pulled us onto my bed. We bounced a bit before our lips sought each other out. God, this was hot. I tried to scoot up the bed, but Stefan stayed where he was.

Looking down at me with hungry eyes, he flashed a shy smile before gesturing to my loosened jeans.

"I'd like to take these off," He suggested gently.

Blushing, I nodded. I loved how respectful he was being. Such a gentleman. Slowly, he pulled my jeans off my legs and sat back to drink in the view. Unconsciously, my entire face grew red in embarrassment.

"Come here," I whispered and beckoned with my finger.

Slowly, he crawled up my body and laid his full weight over me. Cautiously, I grinded my hips into his jean-clad pelvis. He huffed in pleasure, so I rolled my hips again with a smirk.

"Get undressed, please," I whispered into his eyes before licking a line around the shell of his ear.

He grunted in agreement. Lying back on my elbows in my underwear and bra, I watched him undress like a predator. Something about the way he looked at me made me feel like the sexiest movie star ever. I still couldn't believe someone as powerful and kind and noble as Stefan had picked me. I licked my lips as his jeans and shirt fluttered to the floor. As he made his way back to the bed, I spread my legs with a coquettish expression. He grinned widely.

When he came down to me, he fell a little and ended up knocking some wind out of me. Obviously, he didn't notice since his tongue was plundering my mouth roughly. I panted and tried to meet his animalistic kisses, but it was too much. I pulled back and rolled my head to the side so I could breathe.

Stefan took this opportunity to lave his saliva down my neck while his hands came around my back and unclipped my bra. Hastily, he sat up and threw it behind him. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised at his audacity and hastiness. Last time, he took his time and treated me like glass. This time, he seemed like he wanted a different kind of connection. It made my belly quiver at the thought of exploring this relatively new intimacy.

I reached down and cupped his ass while lifting my hips up. His wolfish smile looked down at me, and I shivered. Almost as if he was reading my mind, he sat up to remove his boxers. Woah. No matter how many times we did this dance, I was still surprised to see him in his pure nakedness. His anatomy was standing up, almost like he was saluting me. With a dry mouth, I reached underneath me and led my underwear down my legs. Stefan helped untangle them from my feet before throwing them into the growing pile of clothes.

Slowly, he laid down on top of me. Our legs were hanging off the edge of the bed, and it was not the most comfortable position for me. Stefan seemed to like it though, because he could plant his feet on the ground to get leverage. Like the last few times, I prepared myself for the torturous session of foreplay before we got to my personally favorite part.

However, tonight, he seemed to forget the foreplay. To my surprise, he gripped my knees and pinned them to the bed, opening me up. It was beyond hot, but I was also wondering why his hands were on my knees at this point. Usually, they were building me up and preparing me. Without warning, he suddenly shoved forward, filling me in one stroke.

It hurt so much that I couldn't breathe. He didn't even wait to check my reaction as he quickly pulled back out and slammed back into me again. I couldn't move because his hands were holding my knees to the bed. I was in a very vulnerable position. Deep in my belly, fear coiled and turned my blood cold.

It really hurt. I wasn't wet enough, and he didn't wait. When I looked up at his face, his eyes were scrunched shut with his mouth open slightly. His panting breaths brushed against my face as he moved over and over and over again. He wasn't paying attention.

Maybe I just needed time, and then I would feel better. I tried to relax as if I were a virgin again. _It's okay. It won't hurt anymore. Just give it a second,_ I told myself. Against my will, a whimper of pain escaped between my clenched teeth. Unfortunately, Stefan took the whimper as one of pleasure, so his rough movements turned into a frenzy. We were rocking the bed and shaking the floor.

I tilted my head back and clutched the comforter in my fists. As much as he was enjoying this, I wasn't. Even though I hated to disappoint him, I was really in pain. And I was scared. This wasn't like any time before, so I had no point of comparison. Reaching up, I cupped his face with my hands, trying to get his attention.

Stefan's grunts mingled with the sound of my bed creaking and the soft tapping of my headboard again the wall. I ran my fingers through his hair gently.

"Stefan," I tried with a strained voice.

His eyes flashed open and looked down at me. My stomach immediately flipped in terror. His expression was hungry and wild. He was making no move to hide his hunger. Helplessly, I looked up at him, silently begging him to stop. Briefly, I noticed my breasts jiggling up and down violently with each thrust.

"Wait...," I interjected, but his movements did not stop.

Together, our eyes peered at each other, each begging for something we could not give. With a jolt of fear, I realized that he really, really did not want to stop. But, I really, really had to.

"Stop, please," I begged softly.

Something flashed in his eyes, and he stopped, immediately pulling out of me. I sagged in relief. Thank God! That was quite an ordeal. I was throbbing between my legs with dull pain, but it wouldn't be too unbearable. As I reached up to stroke his face, his arm locked me against him, and he flipped me onto my stomach.

I was so confused. Why was I on my stomach? We hadn't done anything like this before. Again, my knees were pried apart, and I could feel Stefan sliding up and down against me, preparing himself to dive right back in. When I realized what he was doing, I tried to jump up, but Stefan anticipated my move and held his elbow against my back at the curve of my ass.

I was panting but in fear. This hadn't happened before. Was human blood making him like this?

"Stefan," I began but was unable to continue because he pulled me back onto his hardness with a fierce ferocity that took the breath right out of my lungs.

The movements returned, and I was in ever more pain than before. I cried out in pain with tears in my throat, but one hand wrapped around my face and clamped over my mouth. At this, I began to cry in earnest and struggle with all my strength. This was a nightmare. What was happening? He was so much stronger than me. All I could think to do was scream, but his fingers held my lips together.

"Wait, stop, I'm so close," He gasped in my ear, apparently not liking my squirming.

I buried my face in the comforter, and he finally let go of my mouth. Sobs were muffled into the ruffles of my blanket as Stefan thrust thrice more in quick succession and then stopped with a strangled moan. Gently, he laid his front over my back. Our bodies were sticky with sweat. Stefan sighed right next to my ear.

"Elena?" He murmured as if coming out of a trance.

I was never this quiet during our love-making. But that was definitely not love-making. Gradually, he pulled himself up and out of me. I kept my face pressed into the comforter as I gently trembled with sobs.

"Oh my god...," Stefan whispered, finally realizing that I had been trying to stop him.

Or realizing that perhaps his control wasn't as strong as he thought it was. I knew he was feeling guilty and horrified at what he'd done because he was just standing behind me, not moving. When his hand reached out to graze my back, I jerked away and wailed into my blankets.

"Elena, I'm so...," He uttered in horror.

All I could think about was how much it hurt between my legs. That was horrible. I couldn't decide what was worse, the pain or the fear. Crying, I was unable to hear Stefan's tortured whispers. Unfortunately, I was unable to hear his exit out my window due to my continuous wailing.

After what seemed like a century, I lifted my head and saw that there was light covering my opposite bedroom wall. It was morning. I hadn't noticed. Fearfully, I lifted myself up and turned slightly before flopping down in relief. Stefan was gone. My mind reminded me that there would be consequences from what happened. Big ones. However, I ignored that and crawled under my covers, shivering. I curled up into the smallest ball that I could and fell asleep amidst the raging pain from between my legs.


	2. Chapter 2

POV: Damon

Another Saturday night, I mused to myself. God, I was becoming so domestic that it was disgusting. Here I was, an immortal sex god, pathetically laying around my house. I swished the bourbon in my glass as I stared into the flames. There was something wrong here. Something I couldn't put my finger on. In the beginning, I was dead-set on seeking revenge on Stefan. I followed him here with misery on my mind. And yet...all the darkness seemed to disappear when I was with Elena. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that a girl with Katherine's face was compassionate and selfless. She was the polar opposite of my past lover.

My feelings about Elena were vague. I felt attraction, but that could just be because she looked like Katherine. But her attention felt like this painful awakening of humanity that I desperately did not want to feel. Being with her was equally painful as it was enlightening. Some days, all I did was slip into a pensive state, like today, and imagine things that she would say. Things that she would do. What her kisses tasted like. What her love felt like. I hated it. I loved it.

I was broken out of my thoughtful trance when the front door slammed shut with such force that it shook the house. I raised my head and spotted a very distraught Stefan.

"Aw, Stef, don't feel bad. That rabbit won't be missed," I teased with a smirk.

My disdain fell away as I took in his tear-stricken expression. My stomach fell to the floor. That expression...years of living together taught me that whatever happened, it was of catastrophic proportions.

"What?" I barked in fear.

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_ , I chanted to myself. He shook his head and fell to his knees with a roar.

"GOD...DAMMIT!" He screamed in agony.

I rushed to his side with a sinking heart.

"What did you do?" I ordered.

This was a familiar scene to me. The Ripper from long ago would go on feeding sprees, which left behind a devastated Stefan. Something had happened with human blood. I knew it. He had lost control.

"Elena," He choked out as he frantically ran his hands through his hair.

Panic seared throughout my entire body. I hauled Stefan up by his shirt collar and throttled him.

"What did you do? Answer me, you son of a bitch!" I growled in overwhelming hatred and fear.

Stefan sagged in my arms.

"I...hurt...her," He confessed in a low tone that raised shivers down my back.

Dropping him to the floor, I sped out of there towards Elena's house. Her bedroom light was still on even though it was the middle of the night. That couldn't be good. With a certain foreboding, I approached her house. It was silent. Hmmm.

Quickly, I scaled up the tree and nearly fell out when I saw what was inside the window. Elena, totally nude, was lying half off her bed. Her face was buried in the comforter with her hands cradling her own head protectively. What startled me the most was the fact that her knees were splayed apart in a ridiculous position. I ran my eyes up her legs to her center.

In my many years, I had seen some truly horrendous things. Somehow, this terrified and angered me more than anything. More than any war or death or murder or heartbreak. A cold and heavy feeling fell over me, immobilizing me. I was barely hanging onto the tree with my jaw that fell to the ground.

Between her legs, there was red. A lot of it. _Oh, god. Stefan. What have you done?_ I was disgusted at him. He had done some very scary things in the past, but this...I had no words. She was not moving, which triggered a spiraling feeling in my gut. She couldn't be dead, could she?

I strained my hearing and barely made out the muffled cries coming from her. If I focused closely, I could see that she was still trembling. Before I realized it, I had jumped down from the tree and was running towards the forest. When I was alone and surrounded by foliage in every direction, I let out the most blood-curdling, chilling bellow from the deep recesses of my soul.


	3. Chapter 3

POV: Elena

Nobody understood why I had missed a week of school. I wouldn't let anyone see me, and I couldn't bear the light, so I laid all day in the dark with the curtains pulled. Staring up at the ceiling, I was torn between two emotions: numbness and sorrow. I still didn't understand what had happened the other night. Thankfully, I hadn't seen Stefan since. According to Jenna, he had come by a couple times. Flowers began to pile up on my floor like a florist shop. I noted them with indifference. Flowers wouldn't help. Nothing would. I knew I should get out of bed and talk to him. At least to understand what happened.

What paralyzed me into my mini-coma was the fact that I felt nobody would understand me. I was utterly alone on this one. Caroline always had the best and most salacious sex. She would never understand. Bonnie...well, to say that she was inexperienced was an understatement. I could talk to Jenna, but I doubted she would be able to relate. She'd probably just blow up for no reason and go off on Stefan, which would embarrass us both.

Briefly, I turned myself towards the window. Heavy curtains blocked out the sun. Behind those curtains were locks. On my window. Nobody would be getting into my room through the window anytime soon. I was safe here. Eventually, I would have to get up, I told myself. I had missed a week of school, and it was only so long that I could claim to have the flu.

Before the onslaught of painful thoughts could bombard me, I pulled my covers over my head and drifted back to sleep. When I woke up, it was because there was a pounding on my door. Huh. I hadn't recalled Jenna saying she would wake me up. Maybe it was an emergency, judging by the way my visitor was assaulting my door.

"Hold on!" I called out as I gingerly lifted myself off the bed.

When I opened the door, I saw that it was not Jenna.

"Hey," Damon greeted me awkwardly, wiggling all his fingers in a wave.

I recovered from my shock and grabbed the door.

"Get out of my house," I growled before attempting to throw the door in his face.

Not surprisingly, he caught the door with his hand and held it open. Our eyes met in a silent duel. In his eyes, I could see my own scowl. He was also glaring at me as if I had questioned his sexuality. Eventually, I shrugged and drifted back to my bed. Ignoring him, I curled up in the center of the bed and faced the window.

I could hear Damon pause before gingerly stepping into my room. The creak of the door signaled that we were alone. I did my best to ignore him and closed my eyes tightly. As if I were an animal, he approached me slowly, almost in a comical way. I internally rolled my eyes. Finally, he lowered himself down on the edge of my bed. I could tell that he was thinking about what to say.

"What do you want?" I groaned, keeping my eyes closed.

Damon hesitated, which was not like him. I turned around and opened my eyes. He had a strange expression on his face. It was a mix of pity, guilt, and...anger? But why would he pity me? Unless Stefan told him...

I jumped up and drew my legs into my chest with a scowl.

"If you're just going to stare at me all day, you might as well leave," I snapped.

I wanted him out of my room. Before I let something slip.

"Are...you okay?" He finally asked with a cringe.

So, Stefan had told him. Dammit! So much for privacy. I rolled over with a groan and buried my face in my pillows. Out of all the people I could talk to, I wanted to talk to Damon the least. He cleared his throat, and I risked glancing up at him.

"He told you?" I asked softly, with an even voice.

Damon nodded reluctantly.

"That's nice," I commented sarcastically as I sat up again and tucked my legs under me.

The movement caused my legs to brush against my abused sex, and I winced in pain. Immediately, I withdrew my legs from under me and took a shuddering breath. I looked up and caught Damon's eyes. He'd seen my wincing. Unwillingly, my eyes filled with tears. Something about his gaze pierced me, and I knew everything would be spilling out.

"Please, leave," I requested, my throat choking with held-back tears.

He leaned forward as if to hug me, and I jumped back unconsciously. Noting my tears, his face softened.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He prodded delicately.

Despite myself, everything started to rush out. Perhaps it was because I had been so cooped up over the passed week. Perhaps it was because I was keeping all these feelings at bay, and now they were all rushing in.

"I...we...," I sobbed and raised my hands helplessly.

Damon right away scooted up the bed and took my hands into his.

"Take a breath, Elena," He told me.

Nodding, I took a deep, shuddering breath. I could barely get the words out.

"We...I don't know why...the blood, I think," I remembered, my voice rising into panic.

"Hey, hey. Take a breath. Calm down," He soothed with a warm, creamy voice.

I sagged with all my thoughts. I tilted my head back and drew in great big breaths until I didn't feel like I would throw up. I lowered my head and looked into his eyes. If I wasn't mistaken, his eyes were glistening, too.

"I was scared...he...hurt...me," I breathed out with a shaky voice.

"Where?" He ardently demanded.

His tone was desperate. I realized with a twang in my chest that he had worried about my safety.

"Um...," I started before dissolving into tears.

Gently, Damon's hands grasped my shoulders and held me up.

"Elena, tell me where he hurt you," He ordered.

Without thinking, I guided his hand to cup me, and I trembled with pain.

"Here," I whispered.

Slowly, cold anger flooded his face. His mouth gritted in horror as he let it sink in. He probably assumed that Stefan had bitten me. For some odd reason, it didn't bother me that Damon's hand was nearly inside my tiny little pajama pants.

"Would you...let me look?" He questioned.

Both of our eyes flew to each other. For some reason, I found myself nodding. This seemed like a dream. That made sense. Otherwise, why would I be letting Damon look at... _that_?

"Lie back," He murmured.

I laid back without complaint. Keeping his eyes on my face, he peeled off my shorts and underwear. My hands flew up to my face in embarrassment. I was positively dying as I felt Damon's gaze on my most intimate place.

"Could you open your legs a bit more?" He requested.

Keeping my hands over my face, I spread wider. I knew that he had seen the bruises in the shape of fingers over my knees when he gasped. He scooted closer and peered into me.

"Do you mind if I...?" He trailed off.

I nodded, knowing his intent. Very slowly, his finger ran over my lips and separated them. Despite the pain, his cold finger felt great over my throbbing insides. When his finger pushed further into me, I sighed in pleasure. The sensation was excellent. My hands slid from my face as I centered in on Damon's solitary finger probing me like an expert.

With a blush, I realized that it felt great because I was so wet. Actually, I had never felt this aroused before. I guess it was because of the strangeness of the situation. When his thumb brushed against my clit, I rocked my hips with a needy hum. Damon's eyes sought out mine, and I silently begged him. _Please make me feel good_ , my eyes were saying.

Keeping eye contact, his engulfed finger curled and whispered over an unexplored area. My hips flew off the bed, and I couldn't hold back the long moan of pleasure. I vividly recalled Damon's anxious face from between my outstretched legs. His eyes roved over my expression in case I changed my mind. Thankfully, he took pity on me and combined the curling of his finger and the gentle rubbing over my clit.

The pain disappeared as I rolled my hips in time with his fingers. God, I felt so hot all of a sudden. A forgotten feeling rose in my lower belly and reached up to make my heartbeat stutter.

"Oh, god," I whispered, lost in a sea of pleasure.

The rising became stronger and stronger until I was wiggling myself all over Damon's fingers with abandon. My hands reached up to run through my hair and trail down my collarbone to my breasts. Gingerly, I squeezed my breasts and absently heard soft sighs and moans that were in fact coming from me. Geez, I sounded like a porn star, but it felt _so_ good that I didn't care. I was flying into the air with a loud cry. Damon's fingers continued their work until I was back on earth again.

Leaning back on my pillows, I felt like a lounging goddess. That was amazing. I struggled to control my breathing as I looked into Damon's eyes. While my chest was heaving, his finger withdrew from me. Hesitantly, Damon leaned forward until his body hovered over mine. Much to my surprise, he kissed me softly on the forehead before pulling away and getting off the bed. He left my room without looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

POV: Elena

That next morning, I woke up feeling sated. What Damon had done had surprisingly energized me. Still, I could not ponder the oddness of the situation. My brother's boyfriend had his fingers inside me last night. That's a little strange. I knew his intentions weren't sexual, which made me want it so much more. The Damon that everyone knew would have just leered and told an obscene joke, but this was a different side of Damon. A glimpse that was rare and hard to bring out. His eyes held gentleness, admiration. There was no mistaking the fact that he was tearing up when I told him about what happened. A light fluttering in my chest continued as I remembered seeing Damon's concerned face from between my legs. I'd never forget that image, even if I wanted to.

Without dwelling on it, I jumped out of bed and dressed as if it were any normal day. Going to the window, I tore down the curtains and rapidly blinked at the oncoming light. Geez, that was bright as hell. I toyed around in my room for a bit before packing up and closing my door. I nearly skipped down the stairs, which caused Jenna to completely do a double-take at my appearance.

"Elena? I thought you were sick. Are you feeling better?" She doted.

I struggled not to roll my eyes. Jenna was taking this guardianship very seriously. I strolled into the kitchen with Jenna anxiously following me. Jeremy was sitting at the table lazily eating his cereal. Before he could react, I grabbed his bowl and took a big helping before giving it back. He glared up at me, and I answered his glare with a cheeky smile. I noticed Jenna out of the corner of my eye, looking worried.

"Relax, Jenna. Yes, I feel better. I think that flu was just a week-long one," I explained easily.

She nodded slowly but didn't seem convinced.

"This flu seemed really bad, though. I've never seen you be so despondent before," She countered as she went to the fridge.

While her back was turned, I rushed down the hallway to the front door. Before I closed the door behind me, I yelled a quick 'goodbye' and was on my way to school.

I struggled to appear normal and carefree while also checking to see if Stefan was anywhere on campus. I wasn't mad, per say, but I was kind of spooked. Honestly, I didn't want to talk about it anymore or bear the weight of his guilt. Classes went by without too much excitement. In our history class, Stefan's desk remained empty. Hmm. Guess he was detoxing or something. Maybe human blood wasn't such a good idea after all.

Exiting the classroom, I was pulled into a great, big, suffocating bear hug from Bonnie and Caroline. They pulled me outside with them for lunch and peppered me with questions. They knew missing school was a big deal for me, so they were really concerned about how sick I was. I brushed them off with a casual smile. When they went to sit on the hard seats of the outdoor picnic table, I paused. Shit. Could I sit down without wincing? I was still sore, and the thought of sitting down after all those classes made my heart sink. As casually as I could, I began to eat my lunch standing up but also leaning halfway onto the picnic table.

"Oh my god, Elena. Sit down," Caroline joked and gestured to the empty seat beside her.

Grinning uneasily, I shook my head.

"Nah. I wanna stretch my legs," I excused.

They seemed contented with my answer, and we continued to eat and chat like no time had passed between us. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before someone brought a Salvatore into the conversation.

"Where's Stefan?" Bonnie wondered idly with wicked grin.

I had come clean to them about my little secret. They were interested in all the details of me and Stefan's trysts. I tried to push the anxiety down as I answered.

"Not here. Thankfully," I breathed and then cursed myself.

Dammit. That looked suspicious. I hadn't meant to say that last part aloud. With interested looks, Bonnie and Caroline turned their gazes on me.

"Trouble in paradise?" Caroline teased with a glint in her eye.

Of course, to them, Stefan was my dream beau. We were suited for each other in every way. At least, it seemed that way.

"Uh, no," I chirped, almost too quickly.

They accepted my answer with suspicion written across their faces. Perhaps, they were waiting until we could go somewhere more private, and then I would spill the details. Sighing, I shifted from one leg to the other. Caroline noticed this and could only tolerate the repetitive motion for so long.

"What's wrong? Stop that," She ordered in an annoyed voice.

I stopped right away. Unaware to myself, I had the guiltiest expression on my face. Dropping her sandwich bag into its baggie, she turned to give me her full attention.

"What's your deal?" She questioned.

I bit my lip. Now or never, I told myself. Maybe I could just test the waters and see what happened. I wouldn't give everything away, but I would give them some crumbs to see how they'd react. Then, I would know who I could really talk to about this.

"Has a guy ever...?" I murmured before drifting off in embarrassment.

"Has a guy ever, what?" Caroline prodded bluntly.

I bit my lip again and tried to stifle my embarrassment.

"Has a guy ever...fucked you so hard that it hurt?" I rushed.

Both of them startled at my question. That was not what they were expecting. Not at all.

"Well, I'll see you guys later," Bonnie squeaked and nearly tore out of there.

My gaze followed her with a melancholy look. So, definitely Bonnie wouldn't understand. Looking back at Caroline, I could tell she was confused at my question.

"Here, sit down. Let's talk," She offered, gesturing at Bonnie's empty seat.

Gritting my teeth, I tried to talk as quietly as I could.

"I. Can't," I insisted.

Silently, I tried to beg her to understand with my eyes. She looked into my eyes for a long time before all the blood drained out of her face.

"Oh," She breathed.

"Yeah."

"You can't sit because...?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Elena," She sighed with a haunted look on her face.

I just shrugged and picked at my shirt while she scanned my face for more clues.

"Was it Stefan?" She whispered and leaned towards me, grabbing one of my hands in a comforting manner.

"No, it was Damon," I snorted. As if.

Her eyes narrowed for a second before giving me a saucy grin.

"Oh, I'd know if it were Damon," She laughed and fanned herself.

I rolled my eyes at her antics. Part of me was reluctant to remember that Caroline had been with Damon. I didn't know why this bothered me, but it did.

"Caroline, please take this seriously," I chided lovingly.

Her head snapped up right away, her blonde pony-tail swinging behind her.

"Right, right. So, it hurt with Stefan?" She checked.

I nodded in agreement.

"I don't know why. This was the only real time it hurt. Like, a lot," I admitted with a lost look.

Caroline's face softened and her eyes glowed in sympathy.

"Oh, Elena," She murmured.

I shrugged again, but it really did bother me. Even if I couldn't tell Caroline everything, it still felt good to talk to another girl.

"Has it ever hurt for you?" I asked with a shy voice.

She considered this for a moment.

"No...not particularly. Are we talking rough sex here?" She prodded.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed at her blunt question.

Slowly, I lowered myself on the bench next to her. Much to my pleasure, I barely winced as I sat down. She turned to me and held my hands in hers.

"Yeah, I guess...we'd never done that kind of stuff before," I confessed.

God, I felt like I was talking to my mom! This was so embarrassing, but I really had to know if this was a common thing or not.

"Huh. Well, did you tell him that? That it hurt?" She wondered.

Her gaze narrowed onto my face so intently that I felt she was burning holes there.

"Um...," I chuckled and shrugged.

"Elena! You have to tell him! Otherwise, he will have no idea," Caroline complained and threw her hands up in the air.

I leaned my head against the table and closed my eyes. Silently, Caroline played with my hair as I tried to formulate how I was going to go from here. What I should do with Stefan. Definitely, we needed to talk. It might be painful, but it needed to be done. Slowly, I began to feel more like myself. I turned my head up at Caroline and smiled meekly.

"Thanks, Care," I murmured softly.

She answered me with a smile and a relieved expression. She was happy to help me out, I could tell.

"So, speaking of rough sex, this one time...," She began excitedly.

I shrieked and covered my ears, although I could still hear Caroline laughing at my prudish behavior. In the moment, it seemed like we were in the past. Caroline laughing and oversharing about her sexual conquests and me playing the shy and unassuming friend.

"Too much information!" I squealed.

Gently, Caroline removed my hands from my ears with a serious expression. I sat up and leaned in because I could tell that she wanted me to hear something important. Gradually, a sly grin spread across her face.

"Elena...next time you're with Stefan, try cow-girl style. It's really nice," She encouraged in a dreamy voice.

"Ugh! Ew! Stop!" I giggled and slapped at her harmlessly.

Together, we got up and linked arms before strolling off to our classes.


	5. Chapter 5

POV: Elena

Days went by with no sign of Stefan. I couldn't decide whether or not this pleased me or frightened me. His disappearance was starting to make me feel guilty for my reaction the other night. Maybe I over-reacted. After talking with Caroline, I felt a little better, but I still had no one to talk to who knew the entire story. Well, Damon knew, but I didn't want to talk to him. It would be too awkward after what we did. Oddly, I didn't feel like I betrayed Stefan. To me, Damon was just doing something nice for me. Like a favor. It really wasn't worth bringing up.

Figuring that Stefan would be hiding out at the Salvatore boardinghouse. I thought that I might as well try it. Calmly, I drove over and hopped out of my car indifferently. Wow, I was really good at not freaking out. It wasn't a big deal. Stefan and I just needed to talk. That's all. Then we would be okay again, and we could forget about this. Inhaling deeply, I knocked a couple times and stood back to wait. Nobody came.

Huffing, I tried the knob, and it was miraculously open. I mean, I got that they were vampires and killers and all, but leaving your house unlocked during all hours of the day was really careless! Quietly, I walked through the hallway and trailed my fingers over the worn wallpaper. I peeked into the den, and there was a fire burning, but nobody was in sight. I sighed in aggravation before turning towards the staircase.

Stefan's room was a little left of the stairs. I began to ascend the stairs, but the closer I got, the more reluctant became. My footsteps felt heavier, and the large, oak door seemed to exude a foreboding feeling. Gulping, I reached out and wrapped my hand around the knob. I turned it slightly.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," A voice slithered behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as my hand came up to my chest while I struggled to breathe. Then, I sagged in relief.

"Jesus, Damon. Don't do that," I chided breathlessly.

He shrugged and leaned against the staircase, looking like the perfect male model. It would be perfectly believable that he had just exited a runway. Still, my hand was latched onto the doorknob, and I barely turned it again when Damon was suddenly very close to me, covering my hand on the knob with him. His imposing shoulders turned down towards me, but I held my eyes up and tried to jiggle the knob. Damon's grip tightened to the point of pain.

"Okay! Geez, let go. That's hurts," I squeaked after a couple minutes.

With a satisfied smirk, he let me go. Big mistake on his part. Just as he was about to ask me something, I had twisted the knob all the way and pushed the door open with all my might. As if I were in slow-motion, I flew into Stefan's room. The sight caused me to freeze in my spot.

"Oh, my god," I whispered to myself.

The room was absolutely torn apart. Paper was scattered everywhere. Pillows were ripped to shreds. Glass covered the floor. One window was broken, and I spied a large puddle of what I assumed would be bourbon. Despite this ghastly sight, I stepped into the room. A slight crack sounded under my foot, and I leaned down to grab it. It took me a moment to understand what I was seeing. It was Katherine's portrait, and the glass was broken. Why did he still have this? I turned with an open mouth to see Damon looking regrettably at me as he stood in the doorway.

"Where is he?" I inquired softly.

Damon sighed mournfully before lifting his gaze to mine. In his eyes, I saw regret, fear, and many other emotions. It caused my heart to stutter in fear. If Damon was afraid...

"I don't know," He admitted.

We stood with our eyes away from each other, scanning the room for clues. Yet, not one of us moved. I think we wanted to keep everything in place, even if it was destroyed. This was done by Stefan. Stefan's presence could be tied to this room. We both needed him.

"And this isn't even the worst part," Damon muttered quietly.

I whirled around, causing my hair to whip against my face.

"What do you mean?" I gasped.

Damon hesitated, which meant that this was really, really bad.

"The blood. It's gone," He explained as if I were a child.

I shook my head in confusion.

"The blood? What blood?"

"Human blood. All the human blood. He drank it," Damon sighed.

My mouth fell open in surprise. Another curve ball in this unfolding drama. Stefan would be the star while Damon and I were co-stars. Helplessly, I looked around in disbelief. Nothing about the mess seemed clinical to me. All I knew was that he was mad. No, he wasn't mad. He was in despair. I covered my mouth with my hand as I started to think. He took the blood, and it was human blood. He was upset, which, combined with the blood, could be very devastating. We had to find him. As soon as possible.

"But-," I pleaded.

"No, Elena. He's gone," Damon growled, and his venomous tone took me aback.

I paused for a second before tearing out of the room, leaving a very confused Damon to survey Stefan's room a final time. As I was getting into the car, Damon called to me.

"Hey! Elena!"

I rolled my eyes and shut my door despite his calls. When I started my car, the engine purred to life, and suddenly, Damon was at my window, which made me jump in surprise. Very slowly, I rolled down the window and gave him a very cheeky smile.

"Hi, what can I help you with today?" I inquired, my voice dripping with false sweetness.

Damon's hands came up to rest on my rolled-down window. He peered into the car and leaned precariously close to my face. I didn't want him to think I was intimidating, so I didn't lean back or break eye-contact.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He questioned with a suspicious face.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed and went to roll up my window, but I couldn't because Damon's hold on my window was stronger than the gears.

"When are we going to talk about what happened the other day?"

My mind drew a blank.

"What?"

Damon snorted and his eyes darkened. He was getting mad.

"When I came to visit you when you were 'sick'," He explained as if I was a toddler.

My face immediately flooded with blood.

"Let's pretend it never happened," I suggested in embarrassment.

In shock, Damon's hands dropped, and I finally rolled my windows up all the way. His eyes followed me as I backed out and drove away, my heart thumping wildly.


	6. Chapter 6

Stefan POV:

I hung my head in shame as I heard Elena exit the house. In the cellar, I became invisible to everybody. Nobody would be hurt by me down here. It was still a surprise to me that Elena came to talk to me. After what I'd done. She came back. She should have just given me up. I was a lost case at this point. Even after all these years, I was still a slave to my bloodlust. The worst part was that Elena got hurt in the process. Internally, I made a promise to never touch her again. It was easier this way.

Elena's car tore out of the driveway, and after minute or so, Damon came clunking down the stairs with a lazy smirk. I looked up at him from inside the cell, where I resided behind iron bars. Although I could not take back my actions, a small penance of drying out would have to do for now.

"Looks like you have an admirer," Damon teased with glinting eyes.

Crossing his arms across his chest, he stopped in front of the cell and peered in at me. I laid down on my straw mat and turned towards the wall, where I expected to stare at for the rest of eternity for my sins.

"She'll come back, you know," Damon reminded me cheerily.

I huffed in annoyance. If I was to be out of Elena's life, so should Damon. Spending time with vampires would be the death of her.

"And you'll keep sending her away," I answered forcefully.

Damon was skeptical, to say the least. He never believed in the animal diet, even after all those poor people had died by my hand. To Damon, it was pretty obvious that Elena being in the picture meant that I couldn't just desiccate until I was too weak to hurt anyone again. This was the straight and narrow, though. This path never failed to bring me control, which is what I desperately needed.

"That was nice of you to tell her I stole the blood, too," I added bitterly.

Even if I wouldn't see Elena again, I didn't enjoy Damon smearing my name in front of her. I saw right through his tactics. He wanted her.

"No problem. Just wanted to make it believable," Damon snickered to himself.

Slowly, I rolled over and sat up against the cold, stone wall. Crossing my arms, I narrowed my eyes and made eye-contact.

"Elena is off-limits," I reminded him.

To this, Damon just shrugged.

"I don't know. Who will keep her company while you're in here?" He countered with a provoking tone.

I couldn't help but growl at this. Just the idea of Elena and Damon together made me sick. She wouldn't see through his tactics because she saw the good in everyone. She wouldn't know that he was using her, purposefully endangering her life for his enjoyment.

"Stay away," I warned in a low tone.

"Oh, no! The big, bad vampire is going to get me! Stefan, how you imagine to detain me when you're locked up and weaker than me? I think Elena would want my protection, don't you? I can look after her while you're away, and I'll keep a _very_ close eye on her," He suggested lewdly.

Immediately, I flew to the bars and roared in Damon's face. My fangs and veins made a horrifying image, but Damon only laughed. I shook at the bars and screamed in frustration.

"Don't you dare!" I yelled from the cell.

I could hear Damon's chuckle all the way from the upstairs.


	7. Chapter 7

POV: Elena

"Gah!" I gasped as I sat up in bed.

One hand was on my chest, feeling my heartbeat racing from another nightmare. Looking down, I saw that I had become tangled in a sweaty mess of sheets. When my heartbeat slowed, I ran my hands through my hair in exasperation. This was the third night in a row that I had woken from a nightmare. Outside, it was still dark. I found that I couldn't sleep through the night, but I desperately needed this sleep to deal with school and all my social requirements as a descendent of the Founders. I tried not to think through my decision as I dressed in sweats and a hoodie and quietly crept out of my house. It had to be about 2 or 3 in the morning because it was dark with just the hint of sunrise.

Just like I did every time I woke in a panic, I began to walk around the desolate streets and watched my breath appear like a dragon's exhale in the cool morning air. Some nights, I walked in the forest. Other times, I walked past the Salvatore boardinghouse but dared not to go inside lest I wander into Stefan's destroyed room. Just the memory of everything so wrecked made me shiver. It was the opposite of Stefan's usual demeanor, always so controlled and clinical. Still, I found myself nearly memorizing the Salvatore's land because I had wandered around the house so much. I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of Damon for stalking their house, but something about the property brought me peace. Even though Stefan wasn't there, it still felt like he was there, and I wanted to feel his nearness again.

Here I was, ready to talk and open up again to salvage our relationship, and he had bolted. It was so unfair. Without clearing the air between us, I was in a state of suspension. Mostly, I wanted to talk to him because I kept having the nightmares, which made me appear as a skeleton the next morning. If only he would come back.

Because I did not want to linger like a pathetic love-struck fool, I steered myself in the opposite direction of the boardinghouse. For some reason, I didn't need to think about where I was going. My subconscious wanted me to visit a certain place, and I didn't stop it. When Wickery Bridge came into view, I willed myself to stop, but I did not. Despite my internal struggle to walk away, I strolled right onto the middle and bent over the edge to peer into the black-ish water. Tucking my hands into my sweatshirt, I began to think over the event of that fateful night. Stefan had saved me. Now, he was gone. Did I want to be alone? No. Did I need Stefan? I guess I did. At least, I needed someone to give me the affection and closeness that a boyfriend usually provided.

"It's dangerous out here by yourself," Someone spoke in back of me.

I nearly jumped off the bridge because of my surprise. I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. Undoubtedly, it was the same someone who continued to tease and prod until I exploded.

"Damon," I greeted in a cold voice and continued to search the water for a sign.

Was Stefan coming back or not? How long would he be gone? Should I move on? I shook my head in despair. I didn't want it to be over.

"What brings you out on this beautiful night?" Damon gestured with a sly look.

I briefly looked at him before returning my gaze to the water.

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?" I retorted sarcastically.

Without looking, I knew Damon's eyebrows were raised at my icy tone.

"Well, I am a creature of the night. You, however, are an innocent cheerleader who needs her beauty sleep for school tomorrow," He teased with flourishing gestures.

I knew he was trying to corral some reaction out of me, but I was too tired to feel anything.

"I can't sleep," I admitted softly.

Briefly, I closed my eyes when I felt Damon move closer to me. His front was nearly pressed against my back. I could feel the rough material of his jeans brushing against the soft cotton of my sweatpants. Gently, his finger hooked around some hair and tucked it behind my ear. I finally opened my eyes and turned my head to the side to capture his gaze. He looked like he was yearning for something. I could see the helplessness in his eyes. He didn't know what to do in order to make me feel better.

"Why not?" He questioned before wrapping his arms around me from behind.

I didn't push him away because it felt nice to be in someone's arms, even if it were the arms of my boyfriend's brother. Truly, I felt safe there, in Damon's arms. The irony was not lost on me.

"Nightmares," I exhaled.

Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes so rapidly that I couldn't stop. I buried my face in my hands and softly cried as Damon's grip tightened around me in a comforting way. Turning my head back towards him, I asked,

"Why won't he come back?"

Damon's expression tightened in anger and then softened into sympathy. I'm sure I looked like a big baby with wide eyes filled with tears and water running down my chin. Gently, his hand cupped my jaw while wiping off tears at my chin. Looking up at him in a vulnerable state, I appeared to be begging almost. Damon jostled me in his arms before turning me around and draping an arm over my shoulders protectively.

"Let's get you back to bed," He insisted hurriedly.

He was probably done dealing with me. The thought brought another brick to my already heavy stomach, and I burst into tears. Nobody wanted me anymore. Not Stefan, not Damon. It was probably due to the fact that I couldn't control my emotions. I had become an endless well of tears that depressed all my friends.

"C'mon. You're just tired," Damon murmured, sensing my embarrassment at him seeing me in such a state.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled under my tears.

At a languid pace, I let Damon lead me back home with his arm draped over my shoulders. When we arrived home, I was still shaking, but the tears were gone. Somehow, talking with Damon made me exhausted all of a sudden. Yet, I was reluctant to go back to sleep lest I experience another nightmare.

"I need to talk to Stefan," I asserted breathily.

To gauge his reaction, I looked up at his face from under his arm. He looked confused and torn, as if he were silently working something out in his head. Maybe he was thinking about how to contact Stefan.

"I can't sleep until I talk to Stefan," I repeated.

Damon's annoyed gaze fell on my upturned face.

"I heard you the first time," He muttered before going back to his pensive state.

He was trying to figure something out in his head, but I was unaware of what he was bothered by. Finally, he hung his head and sighed mournfully.

"Stefan's gone, Elena, and he's not coming back," Damon stated soothingly.

My lip began to tremble as another tantrum welled up inside me. Damon saw this and started to push me towards the door.

"Get back to bed. You're just tired," He urged uneasily.

Tonight, I didn't want to be alone. I nodded in understanding and sniffled pathetically as I began to open the door. Yet, I hesitated because I didn't want to lay back down on that bed full of sweat and disorder. I didn't want to see Stefan's face in my dreams as he tore into my skin with his teeth and ripped me apart.

"Um...," I began and lit up like a light bulb in my face from embarrassment.

"What?" Damon sighed impatiently and pushed his hands into his leather jacket.

"I can't sleep," I admitted with a shy look.

He didn't seem to understand, though. Then, it sunk in what I was asking for. He exhaled before gesturing for me to enter the house.

"Go on. I'm right behind you," He promised.

Believing him, I climbed the steps and entered my room. Without thought, I undressed until I was back in my tiny pajama shorts and thin tank top. I was settling myself on the bed when Damon appeared at my door. His wide eyes and surprised expression let me know that wasn't expecting me to be wearing less than before. Our eyes met, and I remembered a similar tryst in my room with Damon where I was wearing a similar outfit. Shamelessly, I watched him slide his jacket off and then stoop to take off his shoes. Eventually, he approached my bed, still wearing his white t-shirt and dark jeans.

"You don't have to sleep in your jeans, you know," I teased him with a blushing face.

With a wry smile, he unbuckled his belt before tossing it with fanfare and then popping open his button. As I watched intently, he shucked his jeans and stood for a minute so I could enjoy the view. While Damon was climbing into bed, I laid back down and grasped for my sheets. He looked over at me as I led the sheets over our bodies and I tucked myself into his side. I was more than aware at how intimately we were pressed together.

"I'm cold," I scoffed when Damon's eyebrows raised at my cuddling.

"Okay," He answered sassily.

I swatted at his chest and settled against his warmth. Mmmm. This was nice. Without thinking, I hooked my leg over Damon's, and both of our eyes widened substantially at the action.

"Elena, if you want me, all you have to do is ask," He teased haughtily.

Instead of excusing myself or being embarrassed, I countered,

"I'll keep that in mind."

I could feel Damon's eyes prowling over my face, but I gave nothing away. Closing my eyes, I kept a soft smile on my face. When he was satisfied with his searching, he laid down, taking me with him. His arm wrapped around me and settled at the small of my back. My tank top had ridden up, and there was a small line of skin exposed on my back. Damon's finger traced my skin lightly, tantalizingly. For some reason, it turned me on. I tried to hold onto my self-preservation and chided myself for getting aroused at someone stroking my back. Barely holding onto my control, I continued the façade that I was asleep. Damon, however, wasn't buying it.

"Do you ever think about the other night?" He whispered with his wet mouth on my ear.

His soft breaths blew into my ear and moved the tiny hairs there so that my skin got Goosebumps. Unfortunately, I knew exactly which night to which he was referring. Still, I tried to deny him his satisfaction.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I murmured innocently.

Damon's fingers continued to rake across my back, and a thrill shot straight up my spine. Gradually, his fingers curled around my neck and gently yanked my hair back so my gaze lifted to meet his. Even in the dark, I could tell that he had that goddamn smirk on his face, which angered me even more. Of course, he wasn't taking this seriously. I was his plaything.

"You don't know? You'd think you'd remember when a guy's got his fingers in your-,"

"Damon! Ugh!" I huffed and slapped him lightly on the chest.

His eyes met mine, and I felt like molten lava had erupted between us. I didn't know about him, but I was desperately trying not to act on my impulses right now. Gently, his thumb ran over my lips and cupped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"We can't," I argued weakly, but my resolve was quickly slipping away with every second I was looking into his eyes.

His eyes were hungry. Ravenous. He wanted to devour me, and I him. I'd never felt so sexy or uninhibited before. It was a slippery slope, I reminded myself. His lips curled up into a mischievous grin.

"I was just suggesting you return the favor," He proposed slyly, looking down his body.

Startled, I realized that I'd been running my hand up and down his chest under his white tee-shirt nearly this entire time. I went to withdraw my hand, but Damon grabbed my wrist and held it. The way he was looking at me seemed like a devil tempting an angel. I knew I shouldn't fall from heaven, but I wanted him more than I wanted to be good. Slowly, he led my hand down, down his body until my fingers were curling around his boxers of my own accord. As if silently asking my permission, his yearning gaze met mine, and I nodded without a second thought.

I let him dip my hand into his boxers. When I grasped him, his hand released mine and rested on my backside. We were impossibly close together, and I could almost count every bob of his Adam's apple. His eyes closed and head tipped back as I stroked him. Instead of feeling awkward, I felt empowered. What shocked me the most was that he was already slick at the tip, which meant that he was really, really aroused. By me? Just the knowledge that I did this caused a lightning bolt to shoot straight to my groin.

Knowing that he was close from the strained look on his face, I quickly pushed him to lay down, and I hopped on top of him, continuing to stroke. I liked this position so much because, in addition to my hand, I could grind my hips into his, which increased the friction. Coyly, I smiled down at him as his eyes popped open at the added movement of my hips. With a groan, he closed his eyes again and tipped back his head.

"God, Elena," He mumbled.

Seeing Damon this way was extremely hot. I tried to give it all I got and began to slide myself all over him while I kept the pace of my hand. Eventually, I got a solid rhythm going, and if I closed my eyes, it was almost as if we were really having sex. Unable to help myself, I sought my own pleasure by rolling my hips against his wet boxers and my own hand. Soon, Damon and I were both panting and whimpering with need. Out of nowhere, I exploded against my hand, which caused me to withdraw my grip so I could grind into Damon's hardness shamelessly. Just at the end of my climax, Damon grabbed my hips and thrust up a couple times before releasing a strangled noise of pleasure.

I laid on top of his chest while my mind spun a million different ways. Well, that had never happened before. I was surprised by how aroused I'd gotten just from watching Damon get off. Or the fact that we were still wearing our clothes. After a while, I rolled onto my back and pushed my sweaty hair out of my face. Looking over, I saw Damon giving me the same surprised smile as if we were looking into a mirror. Thankfully, we didn't talk anymore as I attached myself to his side, and his arm anchored me to him. Just before I fell into the abyss, I heard him whisper,

"You're safe with me."


	8. Chapter 8

Damon POV

Coming to, I couldn't remember where I was. Or who was spread across my chest like ivy. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was Elena! She was nearly suffocating me with her intense grip, but she was asleep, at peace. I took a minute to sort out the implications of last night, but an internal voice interrupted my fretting. _The Damon Salvatore I know would never cuddle with a girl, let alone worry about her feelings_ , it told me. I nodded along as if I were actually having a conversation with someone. Shrugging off her pliant hold, I scooped to pick up my jeans and the remainder of my clothes. It nearly killed me to leave her there, clutching at the sheets where I was. I knew that she was having a hard time, but moments like this, waking up in her arms-those were reserved for a boyfriend. For Stefan. I'd never be that domesticated. And yet...no, I wasn't going to think about it. I'd rather be having a drink by now.

As I strolled into the boardinghouse, I was met by silence. Before I could help myself, I descended the stairs two at a time, eager to tell Stefan about my night. When I reached the window adorned with bars, I shook the door lightly, rattling the chains and iron loudly. With a murderous look, Stefan turned over from where he was laying.

"Good morning, brother!" I greeted cheerily.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion right away. Surely, he knew that I was up to no good.

"Why the unexpected visit? I thought you were going to leave me to rot," Stefan shot back icily.

Nearly jumping back and forth on my feet, I let my sinister smile crawl across my face. If it were impossible, another worry line joined Stefan's very crowded forehead.

"Use your sense," I suggested by pointing to my nose.

His expression turned to one of confusion before he took a long inhale. In a flash, he was clawing against the door, trying to get his hands on me. However, I had danced away and was strutting around like a proud peacock.

"I'm going to kill you!" He swore and continued to rattle his little iron cage.

With a swaggering walk, I walked towards him and smirked. I could see just how upset he was. He had smelled Elena on me. Elena's scent...all over my jeans. The evidence was still there, which I kept intact to taunt Stefan. Oh, it was definitely worth the uncomfortable stiffness of my dried spendings because Stefan was absolutely _livid_. It was all I could do not to stride right up to him and laugh in his face. I gave him one more saucy smile before sauntering upstairs.

Once I was alone, I lost the pure adrenaline of the moment. Suddenly, as I stood in the shower, I felt cold and empty. Sure, I had used Elena, but she wanted it, too. It wasn't like I took advantage of her, even though I wanted to. She was so vulnerable that I could have easily swindled her into bed with me. But with Elena, everything seemed harder. Looking into her guileless eyes, I felt the world fall away with all of my sins. Stefan was right about her seeing the good in everyone. Unfortunately, that would also be her downfall.

Dressing myself for the day, I kept finding my mind returning to Elena. How would she react when she woke up...without me? Would she be angry? Sad? Leaving this morning almost didn't feel like the best idea after I had built up Elena's trust in me. With a sinking feeling, I realized that this actually took us a couple steps back from where we were previously. And getting there in the first place had been such a fight, especially on her end.

Suddenly, I felt absolutely outraged-at myself, at her. _Goddammit!_ I growled as I cleared off my entire desk of writings, photos, and whatnot. This was all her fault. She had tried to bring out a Damon in me that didn't exist anymore. She was drudging up all these feelings that came with remorse and pain. I didn't sign up for any of that shit! What was her deal? After my tirade, I ended up bracing myself on the desk, huffing with anger. How did she have this effect on me? It was ridiculous. She was just a girl. I was a big, scary monster for God's sake!

I knew there was one escape for all these feelings: alcohol. As I left the house, I called out to Stefan,

"Bye, Stefie!"

His answering bellow caused me to toss my head back in mirth. He almost made it too easy to rile him up. I reached the Grill by the afternoon and ordered a clean bourbon. When it came, I drank the entire glass in one chug. I gestured with my finger to bring another, and a bus-boy shakily set the entire bottle down instead.

"Good boy," I dismissed him.

I had no idea what time it was by the time I had reached the end of the bottle. At this point, my head was laying against the cool wood of the bar, even though I wasn't drunk. I just wanted everyone to think I was drunk so nobody would try to talk to me. Licking the inside of my teeth, I noticed a familiar chirping voice entering the Grill and settling down. Without lifting my head, I focused on the voice and identified it as Caroline. She was with Bonnie. Elena was not with them.

"Yeah, she might be sick again," Caroline mentioned loftily before continuing onto some unimportant topic like cheerleading.

Such to their surprise, I appeared almost out of thin air beside their table. Both of them popped up like popcorn at my sudden appearance. Their nervous faces looked up at mine, like they were caught red-handed.

"We were having a conversation here, _Damon_ ," Caroline sneered in what she probably thought was a menacing way.

If I were a human, I might have been intimidated, but something about her glittery, pink nails gave her away.

" _Caroline_ , I don't care," I answered in a similar snotty tone.

Without retort, she lifted her chin up at me, which made me smile. Before I could continue to torment her, Bonnie asked,

"What can we help you with, Damon?"

Her no-nonsense attitude often came in handy, especially at this moment. Bracing my hands on the table, I struggled not to slur or wobble as if I were drunk. Because I kind of was.

"Where's...Elena?" I slurred, despite my efforts.

Bonnie and Caroline looked at each other in confusion.

"We thought she was with you. She told Jenna she was sick, but I saw her walking around earlier, so...," Caroline trailed off in bewilderment.

Why was she skipping school to walk around? I knew she liked to brood, but she could've done that at school, with her fellow band of man-haters.

"Did you know where she was going?" I continued with a determined look.

They both shook their heads, and I scoffed loudly at their inability to help before sauntering out the door. Just before I reached the parking lot, I felt Bonnie's little hand grab at my jacket.

"Wickery bridge. She was headed to Wickery bridge," Bonnie panted due to her effort to catch me before leaving.

I nodded my thanks and sped there while twitching in worry. She couldn't even go one day without endangering her life. By the time I'd reached the bridge, I was angrier than I'd been in a long time. This stupid, stupid girl was under my care for now. I wouldn't let anything happen to her. Shaken, I didn't even stop when I saw her idly sitting on the ledge, dangling her legs absently. Her face was turned up towards the sun with a calm look. She was holding something in one hand, but it was obscured by her body. The other hand reached behind to prop herself into a slouching position. She did not react or even open her eyes as I rushed over. Without mercy, I hauled her up by her shirt and struggled not to throttle her on the spot.

"Do you have a death wish? For fuck's sake, what are you doing out here by yourself?" I demanded, shaking her slightly.

Her stance was light, as if she couldn't hold herself up alone. Bracing her hands on my upper arms, she finally opened her eyes and smiled brightly.

"Damon," She breathed in a reverent voice.

Okay, I was _not_ expecting that. Anger, maybe. Irritation, hopefully. But happiness? Something was not right here. Leaning in, I caught a whiff of something fruity. I looked over at where she was sitting and glimpsed an abandoned bottle of rum. She had been out here all day drinking?

"What were you thinking? You missed school," I quieted my voice in fear.

Had something happened? Why was she drinking like this?

"I told you! I can't sleep!" She exclaimed and tried to push me away.

Her action caused her to stumble against me, and I clutched her tightly to prevent her toppling into the river.

"Oops!" She giggled, obviously intoxicated.

Rolling my eyes, I scooped her up because she wouldn't make the walk back to her house. It was a struggle at first to get her and myself through the window, but I did. Without disturbing Jenna, I might add. Much to my delight, I was mastering this whole sneaking through the window thing. I noted this with a wolfish smile. When Elena murmured something in my arms, I gently placed her on the bed and kneeled next to it. I pushed her hair out of her face, and to my surprise, she reached out with a startlingly strong grip and looked into my eyes.

"I won't sleep...until I talk to Stefan," She promised.

I sighed because she sounded like she had made up her mind. No matter what we were doing, Elena always made it harder. Patting her hand, I let go and exited through the window. At a sluggish pace, I walked towards the only solution. The solution that caused this problem in the first place. Still, I was worried about her health if she continued on like this. Without a scrap of dignity, I reluctantly entered the cellar and stood closely to the door.

"Here to gloat some more?" Stefan huffed from the inside.

Defeated, I shook my head. This was the end of the road for me. No more fun for Damon. Back to square one, I reminded myself.

"She needs you. She's not okay," I answered quietly.

Slowly, Stefan sat up and looked over at me, trying to figure out if it was a trap. Seeing his doubt, I shook my head.

"No, really. She won't sleep. She's skipping school," I relayed to him.

Geez, it sounded like two parents reporting on their kid. In some ways, we were like guardians to Elena, so I guess it wasn't too creepy. Stefan pondered this for a second before looking up at me. He was torn, and so was I. We didn't want her to get hurt anymore, but she had attached herself to Stefan so closely that she couldn't cope without him. It was unfair and unbelievable, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

"Please, Stefan. She's dying," I whispered when he hesitated.

He buried his head in his hands and took a deep breath. When he looked up, his expression was nervous.

"Okay."


	9. Chapter 9

Elena POV

Weeks went by without any sign from Stefan. Thankfully, Damon was avoiding me as well, so it was relatively easy to pretend I was just another teenage girl. During the day, Caroline, Bonnie, and I would hang out, occasionally with Matt or Tyler, and then I would go home and try to distract or exhaust myself before falling asleep. I had begun to get used to the nightmares at this point. It was always the same dream, too. Stefan would crawl into my bed and wrap me up in his strong arms. Naively, I would cuddle into him and maybe give his jaw or shoulder a light kiss. Then, vertigo would hit, and I realized I was being pinned down with Stefan on top. His lower body was crushing me into the bed. Always, I would open my mouth wide to scream but no sound would come out as his teeth sunk into where my shoulder met my neck. In seconds, he would drain me, and I felt emaciated as I slowly slipped away. A bright light appeared in front of me, and as I raised my hand to shade my eyes, the light would surge forward and through me, which is when I woke up.

Not wanting anyone to worry, I would cover the heavy bags under my eyes with extra makeup and fixed up my hair in interesting styles to draw attention away from my face. Each morning, I checked for a bite mark, but there was none, even though the dream always seemed real. At this time, I didn't really care if Stefan was across the globe or not. Without sleep, I couldn't function, and I often got accosted during class for snoozing in a lecture. When others asked, I passed it off as exhaustion from homework. I could tell that Bonnie and especially Caroline were suspicious, but they never pressed me. As my friends began to notice Stefan's constant absence, they gave me more slack and chalked my condition up to missing him.

Like any other day, I went through my classes like a zombie. I swallowed my lunch without taste and went through all the motions as if in a painfully sluggish freeze-frame. When I came outside to meet the girls for lunch at the picnic table, I got the shock of my life. There he was, sitting and chatting with Bonnie and Caroline as if no time had passed. A cold sensation trickled through my veins as I realized that this wasn't a dream. He was really there. Why wasn't I more excited? I should be jumping around and screaming with joy, but I felt paralyzed with fear. As I was deciding how to escape unnoticed, Stefan's gaze fell on me.

His eyes softened with guilt and admiration as he stood up, which rooted me to my spot. I felt like a gigantic lamp was turned on above me, and everything else was dark. Suddenly, it was just me and Stefan, sharing a glance across the courtyard. Caroline and Bonnie jumped up with excitement when they followed Stefan's gaze and saw me. From their expressions, I could tell that they were expecting a dramatic reunion between two star-crossed lovers. I attempted to move, but my feet were planted solidly on the ground, and my knees suddenly felt wobbly. I knew that if I tried to walk, I'd fall right over.

"Elena! Look who's here!" Caroline called with a giddy voice.

I smiled uneasily but stayed where I was. This confused Bonnie and Caroline, but Stefan's face fell in despair. He saw right through my act.

"Let's give them some alone time," Bonnie suggested in order to break the awkward silence.

As Caroline and Bonnie passed me, they shot me questioning glances as to why I hadn't jumped for joy and attacked Stefan with a thousand kisses. Instead of walking to him, Stefan hesitantly came to me. I'm sure that I looked like a terrified animal because Stefan took extra care to not surprise me as he approached. When he was still a good distance away, he stopped and stuffed his hands in his pockets with a shy smile.

"Hi," He greeted softly.

Although my throat constricted in dryness, I made an effort to be cordial.

"Hi," I answered just as quietly.

We both looked away with stiff smiles. Moments later, when I found Stefan's eyes glazing into mine, I realized that I had been staring at him in amazement.

"You're back," I exhaled suddenly, the tension slowly draining from my body.

When my shoulders sagged in relief, Stefan stepped closer to me but still gave me a wide girth.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that," He apologized, looking genuinely sincere.

I nodded and smiled in understanding. Or was it just because I wanted this conversation to be over already?

"I couldn't get ahold of you. I was worried," I explained calmly, although I could feel that frenzied panic at being abandoned bubbling up dangerously inside me.

"I'm so sorry. It was wrong of me to leave like that," He conceded with a pitiful look.

"It's okay. I just...oh, my god. Sorry," I suddenly choked as tears came to my eyes.

I was about to fan at my eyes in embarrassment when Stefan stepped between us and grabbed me to him. Closing my eyes, I reached around his back and squeezed him tightly. I was trembling like a naked leaf in the wind and struggling to pull myself back together.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Stefan kept soothing as he kissed my hair over and over again.

I nodded but couldn't stop the tears. Even in his arms, I was afraid. Not just afraid of him but also afraid that I didn't feel the same way anymore. Before, I would have leapt into arms and kissed his breath away, but standing there holding him, I realized I felt empty and cold. When I pulled away, his fingers brushed the tears off my face and cradled it gently.

"Can we go talk somewhere?" Stefan suggested.

I nodded and let him lead me off into the forest, overly aware of the dangers of being alone with a vampire.

After Stefan's return, everything practically went back to normal. However, Stefan and I were no longer as affectionate as before. We still went on dates and kissed, but at the end of the night, he dropped me off at my house and left. We were both nervous of each other and couldn't think how to reenter a physical relationship. As a result, there was a thick curtain of unrelieved sexual tension between us. Even my friends noticed, and Caroline was more than happy to suggest tips that would have made a criminal blush. Even though he had been back for awhile, we hadn't really indulged in a conversation about what happened that night. Thankfully, Stefan was waiting for me to make a move, so we were taking things slow. Really slow. Then, I realized that we had foregone sex for a longer period of time than we had waited for our first time.

Feeling ridiculous, I could have also cried at how wound up I was. My body wanted release, and after sustaining a fairly regular sex life, my energy was all over the place. Each day, I felt another brick fall into place, which would inevitably break my dry spell. With plenty of encouragement from the girls, I decided to take charge and just jump right back in. Although I had convinced myself that it _was_ going to happen at some point, I still felt beyond nervous _. What if Stefan rejected me? What if he...? No, don't go there. That'll never happen again_ , I told myself. Stefan was in control of himself. That's why he had gone away. For my safety. And now, he was okay.

As I geared up into my most theatrical underwear, I felt as if I were actually going off to war based on the grimness of my mood. From past experiences, I decided to bring a change of clothes, a toothbrush, and a hairbrush since it would not be the first time I had slept over at my boyfriend's house. Shouldering my bag, I trudged off to the boardinghouse with one goal in mind: getting laid.

Of course, I also had some liquid courage to help me, which definitely took the edge off. Therefore, I nearly barreled through the door when I entered. Damon was the first to see me since he was lounging comfortably on the couch near the fire with a drink in his hand. Staggering slightly, I sidled up to him and scooped his drink away without thought. I finished it off and placed it back into his outstretched hand. His bewildered gaze followed me as I swayed confidently towards the staircase. Because of my intoxication, I thought it would be appropriate to wink at Damon and say,

"Wish me luck."

His eyes nearly bulged as I began to take the stairs in a hurry.

"Elena!" He called in exasperation when I nearly stumbled and rolled down the entire staircase.

"I'm good," I insisted and continued my struggle to Stefan's room.

When I got to the top step, I was exhausted and had to sit down and rest my head against the railing. With a whoosh of air, I could tell that Damon was standing over me. I opened my eyes warily as he held his hand out to me. I took it, and he hauled me up.

"You're not seriously going to do what I think you are," Damon threatened darkly.

Drunkenly, I waved him off and laughed.

"Damon, stop being such a prude," I teased and saucily smiled.

However, he did not think I was funny. At all. In fact, he looked absolutely livid to me.

"Elena, you need to go home," He growled menacingly.

"No. It's my body. I can do what I want," I countered quickly, secretly impressed with how fast I was able to conjure up that respond in my drunken haze.

He shook his head in disbelief. Silently, he reached out and grabbed my arm, steering me down the stairs.

"Ow! Stop that!" I hollered indignantly.

Hearing my plea, Stefan's door flew open and he stepped out in a panic.

"Damon, let go of her," He ordered in a deadly tone.

Despite this, Damon did not let go.

"She needs to go home. Look at her state. She is not in the right place to be making _decisions_ ," Damon stressed.

The way he had said 'decisions' made it clear what he didn't want me and Stefan to be doing right now. This entire time, I was drooping in Damon's hold, hoping to twist out of it, but whenever I got close to the floor, he propped me up again with a shake. Stefan's face lit up in embarrassment, at which I realized I should probably feel embarrassed, too.

"First of you, that is none of your business," Stefan began as he strode over purposefully.

When he got close enough, he reached out and grabbed my other arm and tugged roughly, sending me tumbling in Damon's grip, which would still not release me.

"Second of all, she's _my_ girlfriend, not yours," He hissed and pulled again.

Instinctually, Damon pulled back, which led Stefan to pull, too. I bobbed back and forth until I felt like I was going to puke.

"Please stop," I whined and hung my head.

Both hands dropped, alas I fell into a heap on the floor.

"Whoops," I murmured.

In seconds, I was in Stefan's arms as he carried me into his bedroom. Before he closed the door, Damon appeared in the doorway, eagerly looking for my plea of assistance.

"Elena, I'll be right outside," He promised with fiery eyes.

Despite myself, I nodded in relief. If anything too rough happened, Damon would be my safeguard. I could tell that Stefan was not very happy with this. As he laid me down on the bed, I felt a strange calm come over me. We'd done this dance a million times. Nothing was different this time. Except that Damon was right outside the door. When Stefan went to place my bag next to his desk, I hastily writhed around on his bed, struggling to get my clothes off.

When he turned around, his eyes widened in surprise. Quickly, he rushed over to me and grabbed at my hands to hold them still.

"Elena, are you sure you want to do that?" He insisted worriedly.

I nodded immediately and fought against his hands. When he let me go, I scrambled into the sitting position and peeled my shirt off. With a helpless look, Stefan watched me undress from the bedside. After a brief altercation with my pants, I was in my fancy red underwear with shiny satin ribbons. Stefan's face morphed into fear as he recognized the determined look in my eye. He could tell I wasn't leaving until I had been 'taken care of'. Turning away from me, he sat at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I crawled over and wrapped myself around him while rubbing his back in a comforting manner.

"I don't think I can," Stefan whispered brokenly.

"Shhh. I know you can do it. Just relax," I recommended softly.

Even though he shook his head, I began to work on getting his shirt off. With difficulty, I pulled it over his head, and when I went to get his zipper, his hands captured mine, holding them still.

"Elena...," He began, but I kneeled before him and looked up with pleading eyes.

"Please, Stefan. I need this," I begged.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

Coaxing Stefan into an aroused state was harder than I thought. Once I laid him down, I stroked every inch of his skin and kissed him tenderly in all his favorite places. However, his reluctance was beginning to have an effect on my libido. Sighing, I sat back, straddling him. I put my hands on my hips and looked down at him in disappointment.

"Stefan, work with me," I sighed.

He rubbed his face with his hands before nodding.

"I'm just afraid to hurt you," He admitted.

My heart thawed a bit at that. Leaning down, I kissed his forehead, his chin, his lips.

"You won't. You won't," I swore.

Gradually, his movements became bolder, and a familiar flush spread under my skin. See? This wasn't so bad. Just like riding a bike. Determined to stay on top, I locked my legs around him and teased him by rolling my hips. His breathless voice ramped up my excitement. Untangling myself, I stood and gave him a little show as I undressed down to my skin. His eyes glowed in approval, and he sat up to rid himself of his boxers. Quickly, I hopped onto the bed and situated myself over him.

"Mmmmm," I murmured in approval as we developed a hesitant rhythm of rocking back and forth on each other.

Finally deciding I'd had enough teasing, I grabbed him in my hand and lowered myself.

"Oh, Stefan...," I gasped and braced myself on his chest.

His hands came up to rest on my hips as I crawled towards my release. Opening my eyes, I looked down at him in relief. I knew we'd be okay. After all, we loved each other.

"This okay?" He checked worriedly.

My heart almost burst at the look of tenderness in his eyes. With a wan smile, I laid myself flat against his chest and sweetly kissed him. Our kisses became longer and sloppier as we rolled and rocked and swiveled. When I finally got there, I fastened my legs around his thin hips and buried my head in his sweaty neck.

"Uhhh...," I moaned in bliss while shuddering through my release.

Stefan jerked quickly and finished, too. Panting, I laid on his chest for awhile, and he played with my hair. Briefly, I noted that my orgasm had been a pretty small one. I mean, in comparison with my last one, which was with Damon. _Okay, don't go there_ , I thought. _Do not think about his brother as you lie naked on his chest._ As I was drifting off to sleep, I felt Stefan shift me over to my back but still kept me close to him. I smiled sleepily as my prediction of this issue blowing over became reality.

I was unaware of what woke me originally. The first thing I noticed was that the bed was really sticky. The sheets were wearing me like a second skin, and my hair was wet with...something? Groaning, I sat up and then immediately fell back down. I was overwhelming dizzy. And nauseous. And weak. I grabbed for the bedside and pulled myself onto the floor, along with the sheet soaked in mystery liquid. I felt unbearably cold and shaky and had trouble moving. Unable to stand, I scuttled across the room, dripping something behind me. Luckily, the door was already open a crack, so I butted it open with my head and continued to scuttle along. My strength was waning quickly for some reason, and my only thought was to find Damon. Damon would know what to do. With eerie calmness, I dragged myself down the hallway, whispering Damon's name.

When I reached his door, I raised my fist and knocked once. Why did my head feel so heavy? The blackness of slumber was reaching back for me, but I didn't want to go back just yet. I needed to talk to Damon for some reason. Then, I could sleep.

"Damon," I moaned weakly and slapped the door with my palm before lying down on my back.

More liquid pooled around me, and the sheet barely covered my shivering, naked body. _Please_ , I called in my head, _Damon!_ My head lolled to the side, and I reached my hand out for his door, but it dropped limply. My breaths became more labored, and I decided I'd just have to wait here until he came out. _Close your eyes. Let the blackness wash over you, take you away from here._

"What the-?"

I heard and smiled because I knew Damon had finally come.

"Damon...," I began with a soft exhale.

 _Finally. Finally. He's come for me._

"Elena," He gasped in realization and dropped to his knees to scoop me up.

I wanted to reach up and trace his face, but I couldn't move my limbs. They were so heavy. Suddenly, Damon stood and carried me off somewhere in a hurry. Where was he going? He placed me on a soft surface. I could hear the fear in his rapid footsteps. There was shouting and lights flickering on. Just before I let the river sweep me away, I pried my eyes open and looked down my body. I was still wearing the sheet, but it was covered in red. Huh. Then a slight pulse of pain caught my attention, and I watched with detached calmness as blood poured endlessly from my exposed breast. Oh. Blood. I was covered in blood.


	11. Chapter 11

Damon POV

Was I a masochist? I guess you could say that. For one thing, I had nearly torn Elena out of Stefan's arms to get her away from him. Now I was standing at his door, listening to their panting and whimpering. Christ. That was pathetic. At first, I told myself that I was listening in to protect Elena, but now, she seemed alright. Neither lasted very long, much to my relief. When Elena groaned her release from behind the door, my nether regions instantly twitched upwards. God, that was such a delicious noise. Thankfully, not many had gotten to hear her cry of pleasure. Only me...and my brother. And now, I was waiting for her to call me like a dog at her beck and call. That was fucked up to say the least.

Shaking my head, I stomped off to my room and slammed the door mightily against the vibrating frame. Huffing with anger, I pulled off my shoes, socks, and my remaining clothes. Naked as the day I was born, I strutted into the shower and finished myself off in seconds. Once I was relaxed, I scrubbed my body and hair until I had forgotten all about the forbidden fruit that was Elena Gilbert. Without redressing, I slid in between my satin sheets and clapped off the lights. _Modern technology_ , I chuckled to myself with a smirk. Turning onto my stomach, I buried my face in my pillow and listed off all the women I'd slept with to keep my thoughts from turning to Elena.

"Damon," a reedy voice gasped from just outside my door.

Groggily, I sat up and blinked in the darkness. Did I just dream that? Waiting for another noise but not hearing anything, I turned to go back to sleep when I heard a quiet slap on the door. Definitely didn't dream that. I leapt out of bed and tossed my door open in annoyance, thinking Stefan had stopped by to gloat about the prize laying in his bed. Instead, I found no one until the unmistakable scent of blood dragged my gaze down to the floor.

Like a fallen angel, Elena was lying there with her arms splayed out and torso wrapped in a bloody sheet like a Greek goddess.

"What the-?"

"Damon," She whispered in relief and smiled.

It took me a minute to come to terms with what I was seeing. Quickly, I snapped out of it and scooped her up. Shit, she weighed almost nothing. Obviously, she had lost a lot of blood. But she was fine when I had left her in Stefan's room just of couple hours ago. And I would have heard an attack if it occurred in the house. Had another vampire gotten in and gone after Elena? That had to be it. Alarm bells went off in my mind as I urged myself to warn Stefan so he could protect himself but also reminded me to help Elena who was bleeding out in my arms.

Looking down, I noticed her face was pale and sweaty and matted in blood, and her head and heavy stream of hair were tilted back as if she were a sacrifice. Gently, I placed her on my bed and took an inventory of her injuries. At any other time, I'd be celebrating the fact that her breasts were exposed to me, but right then, I was in full-on panic mode. I dared not move her lest she bleed out even more. Shit, what should I do? I hadn't taken care of a human in like...ever. Were there guidebooks for this out there somewhere? Deciding I would get more done if I could staunch the blood coming from her nearly open chest cavity, I ran off to the bathroom. As I wringed a washcloth out in water and grabbed for any nearby towels, I yelled to her,

"Elena! Stay with me!"

Over the years, I'd heard through the grapevine that humans could fall into comas if they lost too much blood or had sustained a head injury.

"Shit shit shit," I muttered to myself as I exited the bathroom.

In the few minutes it'd taken for me to get towels, Elena's state had worsened considerably. My pulse jumped into my throat as I realized that this was really, really bad. With no other options in sight, I braced myself over her and laid my head into her collarbone. Her pulse was weak and increasingly slowing.

"Dammit!" I cursed when I realized that she'd need more than modern technology at this point.

Biting into my wrist, I sloppily dripped it over her slightly parted lips and then pressed it fully against her mouth when I became aware that she wasn't swallowing. Propping her up with my hand, I brought her to my chest and urged her to drink.

"Drink, baby. Please," I pleaded in a low voice.

As if she had heard me, her lips pulled against my wrist, and I sagged in relief. That was a close one! When I thought she'd had enough, I placed her back onto my bed with reverence. Reluctantly, I remembered that I had to go warn Stefan and search the house. It was risky to leave her alone and vulnerable, but it would be even riskier if I let an enemy slip through my fingers. Whoever attacked Elena could come back and finish the job when we weren't expecting it.

Stepping out into the hall, I grimly followed Elena's blood trail. When it entered Stefan's room, my stomach dropped in fear. She was attacked in his room. Maybe whoever attacked Elena was finishing Stefan off. With a mighty roar, I threw myself through the door and flicked on the light. Strangely, there was eerie silence and no enemy in sight. Instead of a battleground, the room was in mint condition. Elena's blood trail drizzled from the floor to the bed, where Stefan was lounging.

His face was nearly drenched in blood, and his fangs glistened brightly in the dimly lit room. His outstretched fingers were dripping red, and a torrent of blood trickled from his mouth all the way down to his exposed navel. A stormy feeling began to sink in as I added up all the facts from the crime scene. No enemy. Elena bleeding out. Stefan sleeping peacefully and covered in her blood. My stomach rolled in disgust. Suddenly, I launched myself at him and started punching the living shit out of him.

He woke amidst my brutal assault and flew to the over side of the room, pressing himself against the wall. Chest heaving from exertion, his eyes blinked wide as he just began to notice the blood.

"What-?"

Angrily, I threw myself into him and started clawing at any skin I could find. Surprisingly, Stefan was able to throw me off him and retreat to the other side of the room.

"Why are you-?" He yelled.

"You BIT HER! YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU BIT HER!" I hollered at the tops of my lungs.

Stefan's gaze fell over the blood trail and tangled sheets before falling onto his blood-covered chest and hands. He began to shake his head in dismay and clutch at his hair.

"No, no, no, no, no," He moaned sorrowfully.

I had no time for his little pity-party, so instead, I began to throw random shit at him while I saw red.

"Get. Out. Now. Before. I. Hunt. Your. Sorry. Ass. Down," I bellowed, each word followed by another object crashing through the air.

Luckily, Stefan scrambled past me in a blur, but I continued to scream and tear through his room. I knew that he was already long gone, but I couldn't stop the tears and the hatred consuming me. Why did he do that? He almost killed her. _Elena_. How could anybody ever hurt her? Eventually, after the anger leaked from my system, I fell to my knees in despair. Tonight, I'd lost my brother, and I almost lost the only person that could make me feel. The only person that brought me back to my humanity, time and time again. Burying my face in my hands, I cried for her, for what she had been through. I cried because I'd been so scared to lose her, and that scared me. The depth of my feelings for her cut so deep that it terrified me. She brought me back to myself, the person I was before I was a vampire. Who I was when I was innocent, and happy, and had dreams. I decided then and there that I would spend the rest of eternity guarding her from harm, especially from my own brother. After all, I owed her my protection after everything she had given back to me. She guided me back to myself when no one else could. Now, I would devote all my energy to sustaining her and making sure she got everything she ever deserved.


	12. Chapter 12

Elena POV:

As if descending through a sky full of clouds, I came to consciousness, slowly and peacefully. With the exception of the chirping right outside the window, there was absolute silence in the boardinghouse. Yawning, I stretched widely and reached my hand out in search of Stefan's body. Surprised and dismayed, I pried my eyes open and looked over at the empty space in the bed. The way that the sun was shining through the window was beautiful. In awe, I took a minute to inspect the beauty of the sun hitting the mosaic tile on the window before splintered into the room like individual shards of glass. _Wait a second_. Stefan never had a mosaic window in his room. Much to my horror, I realized that I wasn't even in Stefan's room anymore. In seconds, I realized where I was due to the seductive gleam of the leather furniture and the large walk-in bathroom suite where a certain bathtub had experienced its fair share of women.

I tried to bolt up, but I was hit with vertigo and fell back onto the soft and smooth satin sheets. Briefly, I ran my hands over the material and felt a distant longing to belong to this bed specifically. When I could prop myself up on my elbows, I noticed that I was barely covered in a sheet. Why was I in a sheet? Why was it covered in...was that blood?

Immediately, the events of the previous night thrust into my consciousness and bombarded me. I remembered crawling down the hallway to Damon's room. I remembered laying there waiting for Damon to help me. Somehow, I knew that Damon would save me, but I didn't know how I knew that. I just felt it. Tears pricked at my eyes as I realized that he _had_ saved me. _Again_ , I noted in amazement. But where was Stefan? And whose blood was this?

Picking at the stiff material, I analyzed my garb. It had to have been my blood. I mean, there were still streaks of blood smeared across my body like some kind of demented body paint. But was I attacked? And by who? Had they harmed Stefan...or Damon? Looking down my body, I realized that I was fully healed even though there was an almost absent ripping sensation over my breast, where I had been torn open. As the throbbing became more pronounced, I cupped my breast and hissed, my head falling back on the bed. As my whining increased, the door burst open, and someone fell to their knees beside me.

Blinking a couple times, I realized that it was Damon, and he was looking down at me in concern and at my hands grabbing at my breast. Gently, his hand pulled my hand away, and his hands lightly trailed over my chest and neck, checking for any injuries. I watched all of this mutely, feeling completely safe in his care. Eventually, his fingers lifted the sheet where it was stuck to my skin from the blood. His eyes searched mine for any reluctance, but I nodded with warm cheeks as he softly peeled the sheet off my body, exposing me fully. Our eyes met, and I could see the desire and yearning there, which made a sudden arousal burst through my body like wildfire. His expression made me feel like he's doused me in gasoline and then lit me up. I was burning up under his admiration. His fingers trailed down my naked body and smoothed over my stomach to rest on my upper thighs. Even though I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone before, I was still shaken up about what had happened last night. And Stefan may have been just outside the room.

"Wait," I whispered when his fingers ran down my legs and nudged them apart gently.

His hands dropped from me like he'd been shocked, and I couldn't help but smile at his unexpected chivalry. Without comment, he scooped me up in his arms and walked me into the bathroom suite. There, a bath was already drawn, and there were several scented candles lit and exuding the smell of lilacs and honey.

"Is this all for me?" I couldn't help but ask with a shy smile.

"Only the best for my girl," He smirked and carefully set me down in the bath.

Instead of leaving the room, he sat down against the counter and watched me with delighted eyes. I covered myself and drew my knees to my front, even though it was completely unnecessary at this point.

"I'm Stefan's girl," I corrected him gently.

At my words, Damon's face fell and then hardened.

"About that...," Damon started, his eyebrows pulled together.

Something about the way he crossed his arms across his chest as if to protect himself broke my heart. But what would Damon want to protect himself from?

"Where's Stefan? I'm assuming he's okay since you're here," I said assuredly.

Although my tone was calm, my entire insides began to tremble at Damon's look. There was pity in his eyes. He was about to deliver bad news, I realized.

"Is Stefan okay?" I spat out with tears in my throat.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I did not let them fall just yet. My fingers curled around the edge of the tub so I could hold something and lean towards Damon. Without speaking, Damon nodded his head but did not discuss it further.

"Is this about who attacked me?" I asked in a timid voice.

Part of me didn't want to know who attacked me. I hated to think that outside, in some part of the planet, somebody hated me enough to kill me. Sighing, Damon's head dropped to his chest, and he waited a moment to speak. _Oh, boy. This must be really bad_ , I thought. After composing himself, he lifted his head and caught my eyes in his. My stomach rolled in anxiety of what he was going to tell me. Before he could confess something horrible to me, I blurted out,

"Did he leave? Again?"

Hearing my words aloud made me feel like claws were ripping apart my insides. My lips trembled dangerously as I attempted to hold on to my sanity. When Damon hesitated to answer right away, I knew. Stefan had left again. Because of me. Because I was never safe around him. Because he had enemies that wanted to hurt me. Unable to hold back my tears any longer, I sobbed loudly and lowered my head to the tub's edge. Just as I was able to catch another breath, a hysterical wail escaped my mouth so I buried my face into my knees and screamed with all my might. I was shaking so much that the bath water sloshed around me.

"Elena," An insistent voice whispered in my ear.

I lifted my snotty face and red eyes to see that Damon was now kneeling right next to the tub, one hand in my hair, stroking it.

"He left because...he was the one who attacked you," He admitted with a pained looked.

Immediately, I began to shake my head in disbelief. I could see that Damon's eyes drooped even more in pity at my naivety.

"No, he-," I tried, my voice coming out all crackly.

"Elena," Damon growled and grabbed the back of my hair in his fist.

His grip didn't hurt me, but it captured my attention. When I looked into his eyes, I knew he was telling the truth. Our equally pained expression fed off each other until I couldn't take it anymore and buried my face in Damon's shoulder while he stroked my naked back.

"I'm so sorry," He murmured gently, but I never heard him because my life was falling apart around me.


	13. Chapter 13

Elena POV

Stefan was gone. I just had to accept that. Except...there were still so many questions I had. What happened that night I almost died? And what about the night of our violent coupling? I could have banged my head against the wall at my stupidity. Why hadn't I just talked to him when he was here? Now, it was too late, and I had no idea when he would be coming back, if at all. Was this all my fault? I was the one who made him take human blood. My blood, specifically. That, in turn, tipped him off the balance, which resulted in more violent behavior. This behavior would account for that horrible night, but it didn't explain why he had bitten me in my sleep. Why didn't I wake up when he bit me? Maybe it was consensual but I didn't remember it. In addition, I had thought he was better and that's why he was back. But if he was better, why would be bite me? Probably because I nearly forced him to have sex with me. Ugh! My stupidity! It knew no bounds apparently.

Feeling incredibly embarrassed that Damon had been the one to break the news to me and was the one who saved me, I tried to flee to my room whenever I caught sight of him. That didn't mean that I didn't see him in the Grill at the bar. I knew that he knew I was there, so he was almost equally at fault because he didn't go out of his way to talk to me either. Across the room, I watched his leather-clad back with a strange and indescribable yearning. I hated to admit it, but I did want him. I knew that probably made me a bad person, but it didn't matter if I didn't act on it, right? But now, Stefan was gone, and I was sad and feeling so unlike myself. Damon had an annoying way of making face all my flaws and perfections. He would know what to do to make me feel more like myself, but first, I needed to get out of this damn chair.

When he stood to leave and threw his money on the bar, I ducked my head as if I didn't notice him. However, when he walked by, it was as if a breeze carrying his exact smell forced my chin to lift and my eyes to meet his. The blazing look between us was unbelievably hot. It was as if fire could suddenly burst into existence between us. Unfortunately, I did not catch fire, so he strode on right by me. As the door shut behind him, I dropped my head to the table in despair. This was getting ridiculous. We were both dancing around what we wanted to say. _If he couldn't be an adult, I could_ , I decided.

Quickly, before I could change my mind, I texted Damon to come over when I was in the safety of my home, and then I departed into the steam of my bathroom to shower. When I was finished, I blow-dried my hair and and dabbed a small amount of makeup on. _We're just going to talk_ , I told myself. _Nothing else. But, just in case_...

"Very nice, Miss Gilbert," a chuckle woke me from my daydream.

Well, it was technically nighttime since the sun was just waving goodbye on the horizon. Spinning around, I clutched at my vanity behind me. Damon was lying on my bed with his hands tucked behind his head and a knowing smirk on his lips. I was torn between jumping him right there or slapping that infuriating look off his face. In response to his comment, I just shrugged, which I knew would annoy him. Trying to play it cool, I continued to play with my hair and struggled to keep my breathing even. Deliberately, I made eye-contact with Damon in the mirror as I swiftly undid my silk robe and let it pool at my feet. Briefly, his eyes dropped from mine to survey my scandalous little outfit, complete with red lace and bows as if I was a present that needed unwrapping. When his eyes looked up and back into mine, I nearly laughed at his shell-shocked look. He was definitely not expecting that.

As if I was in a beauty pageant, I twirled delicately, letting Damon get the full view. When I completed my circle, I saw that his eyes were darker, and expression looked strained and lustful. Gracefully, I approached the bed with long, purposeful strides, all the while pointing my feet like I learned in my cheerleading days. Much to my immense pleasure, Damon was paralyzed under my coy gaze. Like a predator, my knees landed on the bed, and I crawled up his body with exaggerated slowness. When his Adam's apple bobbed, I pressed my lips against it and sucked a bit. His surprised groan startled me, so I raised my eyes. I was straddling him and able to stare down into his yearning gaze. He had the most incredible blue eyes...

"Is this all for me?" He smiled hesitantly, like he couldn't believe how he had gotten so lucky.

In response, I trailed my fingers through his hair and then dropped my hands to grab his. Keeping eye-contact, I guided his hands to cup my breasts, which were deliciously displayed in my little red get-up. Unable to hold my little secret any longer, I whispered,

"I want you."

His eyes lazily lifted from where his hands were to my downturned face. Still, his expression was questioning. He didn't really believe me. Tenderly, I traced the sharp contours of his sharp jaw line.

"What about St-," He argued.

Before he could finish, I slammed my lips against his in an angry kiss. Thankfully, he responded right away, so I didn't have to worry too much about his rejection. My hands briefly fell to his own and applied pressure, indicating that I wanted him to squeeze me harder. Panting, his head fell forward, and his eyes closed, resting his forehead against mine. With practiced ease, one hand reached around us to unclip my bra. When I heard the satisfying little snap, I leaned back so he could remove it fully. I wanted to see the look in his eyes as he examined me, but before I could think, he had flipped me onto my back. I struggled not to roll my hips against his hand when he reached to tease the elastic of my underwear.

"Please," I pleaded with wide eyes.

"I'll take care of you," He promised in a low voice that flipped my stomach.

We both watched as he dragged the last of my clothing down my legs. When his eyes scanned from toe to head, my face flooded with red. One hand reached down to cover myself, but Damon's hand intercepted me. Shyly, I looked up and met his hungry eyes.

"Don't hide," He said gently yet forcefully.

His large hands trailed up my body to brush over my nipples, and I couldn't help the little whimper that escaped my lips. Looking annoyingly pleased, Damon continued his trail to my head, where he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, at which my heart melted a little more.

"You're wearing too many clothes," I noted breathlessly, almost jumping out of my skin from all the teasing.

"Elena, all you had to do was ask," He chuckled as he shed his clothes in record time.

I'd never seen anyone undress so smoothly and hastily.

"Fuck _me_ ," I exhaled in wonder as I looked over his equipment.

Realizing what I had said, I blushed, which made Damon laugh.

"You know I will," He murmured darkly before sinking to his knees next to the bed.

Without explaining, he dragged me to the edge and hooked a leg over his shoulder. Realizing what he wanted to do, I whined loudly.

"Damon, I don't need it," I complained.

"I'll be the judge of that," He replied and buried his head between my legs.

And yet, he had not touched me where I wanted him to. Squirming, I tried to push him closer, but he just grabbed my leg more firmly. Holding my breath, I waited until his tongue slithered out and parted me. Unused to the oral sensation down there, I squirmed again, trying to free myself from his grip.

"I want you," I moaned in aggravation.

"Patience, honey," He reminded me and returned to his elaborate technique.

In minutes, I was squirming again but not because I wanted him to stop. A fine sheen of sweat dappled over my body as my breasts heaved up and down. In the moment, I did not notice that my hands were gripping at his hair painfully as I shamelessly rubbed myself all over his face. My knees rested on his shoulders as my ankles dangled down his back. Because I was so busy listening to my own hoarse pleas, I was taken by surprise when I suddenly burst like an atomic bomb. Unable to stop myself, I let out a long, passionate wail. When I opened my eyes, Damon's face was hovering over mine.

"You good?" He asked and his sweet breath swept over my face.

"I'm great," I laughed and tugged his lips to mine.

After a couple sweet kisses, I felt him dragging us to the center of the bed while his lips distracted me. Despite the expert movement of his lips, curiosity got the best of me.

"What are you doing?" I inquired as he maneuvered me so one of my legs was under him while the other was propped up on his hip.

Mutely, he turned me so I was sideways but could still see his face and what he was doing. Wanting to watch, I propped myself up on my elbow and watched as he swept his tip against me a couple times. When I lost my patience, I huffed,

"Fuck me already!"

Startled, his eyes met mine, and I couldn't help but match his goofy smile. Shifting forward, his member slid into me, and I let out an unrecognizable sound that I had never made during sex before. In any other circumstance, it would have sounded like I was in pain.

"Okay?" He checked again with a calm voice, but I could see his muscles bulging from not moving.

Biting my lip, I nodded, and he sunk in and drew out a couple of times, testing me. Looking down at me for validation, his eyes were hesitant and worried.

"That's _so_ good, Damon," I whispered and moved myself with his rhythm.

If it weren't enough that he was in deeper than anyone before, his muffled gasps and panting nearly did me in. I couldn't help but watch him in his own little world. A hazy shaking began in my stomach and crawled upwards.

"Damon, I'm gonna cum," I cried out quietly, gripping his leg in a death grip.

"Go, baby, go," He urged breathlessly, rocking us even faster than before.

In seconds, I was catapulted into the heavens like I had been shot out of a cannon at high speed. Letting out a keening cry, I tossed my head back and curled my toes in magnificent splendor. I was so captured in my own pleasure that I didn't notice that Damon was shuddering and thundering through his own climax. When I floated back down to earth, I noted that Damon had covered us with my blanket and was holding me from behind.

"Mmmm," I murmured blissfully as his hard body leant warmth to mine.

Briefly, his fingers played with my hair and stroked my locks tenderly. I fell asleep feeling completely safe for the first time in a while.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry it took so long to upload-y'all know how the end of the school year goes.

ELENA POV

The morning after was like a strange premonition falling over us like a snow blanket. Even before I was fully awake, I was running to and fro in my mind, scrambling over what I'd done. How I'd explain myself if someone found out. But who would find out? And did he want to be serious? He couldn't be. We couldn't possibly be together. Still, a part of me was proud for doing what I did. I _seduced_ Damon Salvatore. And I felt great. It had been a long, long time (or probably never) since I'd felt so physically satisfied. No doubt, I'd been given a good fucking, which is what I'd needed. There was no tenderness or love or drama; still, I relished in this. I didn't have to think. All I did was give myself over to my body and let it come alive. With Damon, it was like I was a different person. Like I was filled to the brim with spark plugs. Waking up next to him, I felt alive for the first time since my parents had died. It was the kind of feeling I'd go out of my way to avoid, though. This kind of self-consciousness was terrifying in that I had realized how insignificant everything had been leading up to this tryst. I realized that I hadn't been living, hadn't been doing what I wanted anymore. A cold shiver of actualization whispered down my back as I found that I wanted _more_. There was a chasm opened last night that made me comprehend that I wanted life. I wanted more life. I wanted out of this town, away from the over-hanging cloud of grief. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be free, and it scared me.

"No," Damon murmured from behind me as I slowly pulled myself out of his grasp.

Standing, I surveyed the damage from last night. Clothes were everywhere as if a hurricane had touched down in my room. All the sheets and blankets were tossed off the bed and laying limply on the carpet. Cursing, I briefly tripped on Damon's haphazardly placed shoes on my way to the bathroom. When I finished, I stood in the doorway and took in the sleeping figure before me. Damon looked almost harmless like this. Actually, I'd never seen him look so young and innocent before. While he was sleeping, his hair was ruffled up in all which ways, and his nude, long body stretched to capacity, making my mouth go dry. Feeling a slight chill, I stooped down and grabbed the first article of clothing I could reach. Shrugging it on, the light cotton settled over my breasts and bare body pleasantly to the tops of my thighs. I looked down and laughed when I realized that this was Damon's shirt. And it smelled like him, too!

"Mmm, come back to bed," A muffled voice interrupted the serene hush of the bedroom.

Looking up, I saw Damon grinning at me lazily, taking in the sight of me in his shirt. With a saucy swing of my hips, I sauntered over to the bed and paused at the edge, mirroring his sly expression.

"C'mere," He beckoned with one long, graceful finger.

As much as I wanted to join him in bed, I wanted to tease him first. Absently, I noted that me and Stefan's sex life was never this fun nor playful. Ignoring the thought, I lifted one leg and planted it firmly on the bed, exposing myself to Damon. Unable to help myself, I attached my hands to my hips and stared down at him with a smirk. I knew what I was doing. Before I could blink, Damon had hauled me into bed and turned me so I was sitting on his very pronounced morning greeting. Giggling, I circled my hips against his manhood, and I could feel the wetness from his head seeping through the soft, grey of Damon's shirt. With a rumbling growl, Damon reached between us and slowly dragged the shirt up to my stomach. We both watched in amazement as my hips jerked down and sought out his fullness on their own. At a tortuous pace, Damon guided himself into me and pushed.

I was losing my patience, so I slammed down without warning, pulling a seismic groan from both Damon and I. Without thinking, one arm reached behind me and threaded into his silky hair, tugging slightly. The way we began to move was so incredibly smooth and natural that it felt like we'd been doing this for years. Damon's hands reached down to cup my cotton-covered breasts in his hands and knead them. At this, I grasped one sturdy arm and urged him to continue. Soon, the room was filled with our echoing gasps and panting.

"You feel like fucking heaven," Damon confessed in my ear and then licked the entire length of my neck.

At this, my hips twitched as my libido sky-rocketed. Something about doing this with him made me feel so comfortable yet adventurous. I would never tell Damon, but this was the first time I'd experienced a position like this. And like the one last night. My breathed hitched at the thought that Damon could teach me many other things as well. The sensuous rub of Damon's cotton t-shirt against my breasts and upper torso combined with the grinding, animalistic rocking of our hips forced me to my hands and knees as I braced for my orgasm. After several long, drawn out whimpers, I dropped my head and exhaled in relief. Damon's body blanketed mine as I balanced precariously on my hands and knees. One arm smoothed my hair off my back sweetly while the other reached over my leg and under me, hooking me into him, raising my lower half up slightly.

"Elena, Elena, Elena," He huffed with a couple more jerky thrusts.

Slowly, his arm retracted, and I plopped onto bed, slowly sliding down onto my stomach in exhaustion. I was sweaty and shaking all over and had no desire to the leave the bed. With a hammering heart, I rested in a blissful haze of post-coitus hormones. I'd never felt better, actually. Placing a soft kiss next to my ear, Damon withdrew and immediately began to redress like he was in a hurry to get somewhere. I didn't think this would bother me, but it did. I didn't want him to run off to the next cheap hussy after having me. Barely lifting my head with my waning energy, I watched him collect everything, except one noticeable item. His shirt. Which I was still wearing. He looked uncharacteristically awkward as he stood by my door with his fingers curled around the handle.

"I'm gonna go," He excused and then slightly cringed at the awkwardness of his voice.

I nodded with a complacent face, but I felt prickly and mean inside thinking that he had somewhere else to be. Dropping my face to my comforter, I breathed in the familiar scent and tried to fight off the sleepiness.

"Your shirt," I groaned with my eyes fluttering closed as if my eyelids weighed a hundred pounds.

"Keep it," Damon replied with a shameless leer.

Unfortunately, in the moment, I was too tired to answer him with a snotty comment. Since I was drifting into the cloudy atmosphere of unconsciousness, I barely registered Damon's slight hesitation and disappointed sigh before he opened and closed the door quietly.


	15. Chapter 15

ELENA POV

I'd never been so thankful for the weekend before. After Damon left, I took a nap akin to a coma. I was worn out and exhausted, but pleasingly not sore or uncomfortable. Apparently, my stamina was not up to par. I recalled in a disappointing tone that we'd only had sex once the night before and once this morning. It wasn't that the sex wasn't satisfying-and it was-but, I wanted to explore some ideas. Before, I'd never considered experimenting before because I was afraid my partners would think I was some kind of nympho or pervert for wanting something different. I don't think that made me kinky, though. I preferred to think of myself as sexual chameleon who could adapt to any situation. I was always up to try new stuff even though I never got the chance.

I attempted to lift my head before it fell with a thud to my bed. I groaned in annoyance. I had things to do today! Even after that restorative nap, I still felt unable to get out of bed. Rolling onto my bed, I luxuriated briefly in the softness of my sheets and comforter. With a pang of fear, I realized that I'd have to let Caroline and Bonnie know that Stefan wasn't coming back. I didn't want to think about it since it hurt too much. After all the effort and energy put into our relationship, there was no way I could let it slip away carelessly. Stefan wasn't the kind to 'hump them and dump them' like Damon was. Reaching down, I searched around my phone before finding it under a pile of red lace, which made me smile for some reason. Briefly, I tried to conjure up a believable story that Caroline and Bonnie wouldn't try to investigate or badger me about. It was going to be difficult since Bonnie and Caroline were also invested in the salvation of me and Stefan's relationship.

"Stefan traveling abroad rn. No talking about it.-Lena"

Satisfied with my message, I smirked and sent it right away. If I was upset or in a bad mood when Stefan was mentioned, Caroline and Bonnie would just chalk it up to missing him. I mentioned that they couldn't talk about it because I knew that the second I saw them, they would twitter and flit all around me asking if I was okay and cooing at me like I couldn't take care of myself. To them, I was completely comatose without Stefan, which was so incorrect. No matter what, I was determined to not be the kind of girl who couldn't function without male attention.

Sighing, I ran my hands through my hair and sat up in bed. I frowned as I realized that the back of Damon's t-shirt was clinging uncomfortably to my butt. Reaching back, I peeled it off slowly and cringed at the harsh stickiness of it. After taking it off, I examined the mystery substance. Running my fingers over it, I realized in horror what it was. It was Damon's sperm! Grossed out beyond belief, I hopped from the bed and threw the shirt as if it were a grenade.

"Ew ew ew!" I whined, jumping up and down.

Obviously, I knew that sperm was real, but I had never laid in it afterwards. Stefan was always careful to never get any on me. Matt used condoms since his sperm was alive. I guess Damon was more comfortable with bodily functions than Stefan was. Only recently being bedmates with Stefan, I had become accustomed to avoiding all unromantic aspects of the body. Something about the way Damon didn't care that he ejaculated all over my ass and legs made it all the more real and even a bit hotter. No doubt, Damon was confident in all aspects, even in his bodily functions.

Wearing his dried semen like a badge of honor, I sauntered into the bathroom and proceeded to take a shower. When I returned, I found that I had received a couple messages from Caroline and Bonnie in our group chat.

":(-BonBon," replied Bonnie.

"did he take Damon with him? haha-Car," Caroline chimed in.

"that would be sooooo nice-BonBon," Bonnie answered.

Mentally, I gulped at their reactions.

"Damon's still here-Lena," I warned them.

 _And I slept with him. Twice_ , I thought. Thankfully, I did not write that, though.

"Nooooooo!-Car"

"R we still hanging 2night?-Bonbon."

I slapped myself in the forehead at my memory loss. _Dammit!_ I was supposed to host a sleepover at my house that night. Immediately, I jumped into action and began to throw random clothing items into the closest empty spaces, praying that Bonnie or Caroline wouldn't open them. The bed was the hardest to clean up. Anyone looking at the tangle of sheets and random positions of throw pillows would know right away what had occurred there. As I began to cover up the evidence, I heard another 'ping' from my phone. Looking down, I saw,

"You better not be backing out, Gilbert-Car."

Quickly, I typed out a reply that no, I wasn't canceling. Thankfully, they decided to come over later, so I had time to clean up a bit. I spun like a tornado around the room until I was satisfied that not even a professional investigator could tell what had happened. Just as I had plopped down on the re-made bed with an exhausted and relieved sigh, the door bell rang. Bewildered, I looked over at the clock to see that Caroline and Bonnie were both on time. _Wow! The hours had gone so fast while I was cleaning_. Hurriedly, I ran down the stairs and let them in. When we got to my room, I held my breath to see if Bonnie or Caroline would comment or unravel my salacious deeds. Just before I decided to just confess, Caroline pulled out a bottle of her mom's Pinot Noir with flourish.

"Girls, let's get this party started," She declared.

Hours later, our wine was gone, and we were all lying around on my bedroom floor, laughing and reminiscing. Mostly, we talked about boys, but thankfully, nobody brought up Stefan or Damon. I couldn't stand to talk about a Salvatore without getting sick. They were an exhausted subject at this point. Rolling onto her knees, Caroline clapped her hands drunkenly to get our attention. Bonnie and I sprung up in attentiveness.

"Let's play a game," Caroline squealed.

Looking over, I shared a wary look with Bonnie. These games never ended well, especially with one of us abandoning our dignity or spilling our most sordid secrets that we vowed to take to the grave.

"I don't know, Caroline," Bonnie whined and laid back down.

We knew that she was a bit of a light-weight, so we gave her some slack. After her eyes were safely closed and her breathing evened out, Caroline and I jumped up to my bed with glinting eyes and matching naughty smiles.

"What shall we play?" She wondered innocently.

"Pssh. As if you didn't have something already planned," I giggled and shoved at her gently.

She giggled back and nodded with pink cheeks.

"Truth or dare?" Caroline suggested with a determined look.

I sighed because I knew better than to try to change Caroline's mind after it had already been made up.

"Fine," I conceded with false aggravation.

Squealing, Caroline bounced a couple times and clapped excitedly.

"You first," She insisted when I lost our brief rock-paper-scissors match.

She pretended to think for a moment, but I knew the nature of what she would ask. Giving me a sly grin, she asked,

"What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her boldness. At least she didn't waste time with small talk.

"I have a feeling you get off on other people's sex lives," I argued playfully.

Tossing her head back, Caroline laughed boisterously.

"Answer! You have to answer!" She chanted, bouncing on my bed.

"Fine, fine!" I laughed.

Since I was still pretty intoxicated on the wine, I had no way of filtering what I said. Being drunk and playing a game with Caroline was always a fatal decision.

"I kept a shirt...with jizz on it," I whispered and then covered my mouth coquettishly.

Immediately, Caroline screamed and bounced riotously on the bed.

"You slut! Elena Gilbert, closet whore!" She rejoiced.

I was too busy blushing and cursing myself for admitting that than quieting Caroline down. Trying to get my bearings together, Caroline launched herself at me and throttled me while shouting something I couldn't understand.

"What?" I giggled, trying to extract myself.

"I said, 'Put it on!' I wanna see it!" She sang loudly.

Obviously, I was still not totally in control of my actions because I leapt off the bed and did a sexy little shimmy to where I'd hidden Damon's ruined shirt. Throwing her one more tempting look, I sauntered into the bathroom. Stripping totally nude, I shrugged on his shirt and appreciated myself in the mirror. To me, it felt like I'd been in there for minutes, but I guess not. When I exited, Caroline was face-down and asleep on my bed. My shoulders fell in disappointment. For once, I wanted to be the scandalous one and receive the praise for my sexual conquests. Sighing tiredly, I crawled under my comforter and closed my eyes. It felt so nice to be in my bed with my cold toes warming up under the covers. My eyes popped open when a brief buzzing from my phone alerted me. Looking over, I blinked at the bright screen in the darkness.

"Come outside," It read.

It was from Damon.


	16. Chapter 16

ELENA POV

After seeing those simple words, I shuddered in excitement. Not wasting any time, I quietly climbed out of bed and crept down the stairs and out the door. Outside, it wasn't too cool for my choice of clothing. Under my toes, the wet grass parted with a satisfying noise. It wasn't until I was surrounded by darkness that I realized how much I could have used a flashlight. Plus, Damon didn't specify where he was. Thankfully, I felt the side of my house and used the bricks to guide my way. Every few steps, I would stop and listen for any noise but heard none.

"Damon?," I whispered anxiously.

The suffocating darkness and suspiciously quiet night were beginning to creep me out. Wrapping my arms around myself, I frowned and turned to head back inside. He could come to me if he really wanted.

"Nice night, isn't it?" A voice purred from behind me.

Whirling around, I held my arms out in defense and searched the darkness with narrow eyes.

"Damon...," I warned with an irritated voice.

I was not in the mood to be teased.

"Gotcha," the voice breathed down my neck before I was seized up in strong arms and swung around gently.

Immediately, I fought his embrace because I was embarrassed at being scared. When he started laughing at my grimace, I smacked his leather-clad jacket fruitlessly.

"Asshole!" I hissed, but there was little real venom in my voice.

Squinting, I began to make out Damon's form. His hands ran down my arms gently, pulling me to him. Effortlessly, my arms came around his neck, and I craned my head up for a kiss. Our lips met softly, neither of us moving. After a moment, his lips pressed against mine, and I answered his kiss without thought. Very slowly, Damon tipped my head back and flicked his tongue against my lips. With a needy moan, I opened my mouth to him, and his tongue felt heavy in my mouth. Something about this time felt more intense and erotic than before. He was taking his time. Most of the time, the guy wouldn't taste me before taking me. As one hand slid through my hair, the other ran down my back lightly until he gently squeezed my behind. Again, I released a breathy gasp into his mouth. Suddenly, his hand stilled, and he pulled back. Surprised, I looked up into his delighted expression with confusion.

"What?" I asked, still clutching at his jacket as if it were a life preserver.

"What are you wearing?" He breathed in admiration, moving his hands to where the noticeably stiff and dry area was.

Blushing furiously, I dropped my head to his chest and attempted to hide, but long fingers forcefully brought my face back up. Looking up at him, I wore a shy smile, and his expression was one of awe. Apparently, he loved that I was wearing his shirt from this morning...and nothing else underneath it. When his thumbs caressed my cheeks gently, I'd decided I'd have enough of the heavy petting. Without warning, I fell to the knees and nearly tore open the front of Damon's jeans. I could tell he was surprised, so I used this opportunity to take charge as I intrepidly dug my hand in his boxers before pulling out my prize.

Wanting to savor his pleasure, I hesitated to put him in my mouth and suck, like I wanted. Truthfully, I wanted to suck at him until he howled like a wolf and begged me to stop. It surprised me how much I'd been wanting to pleasure him this way. It wasn't so much about pleasing him as it was about worshipping who he was to me. I wanted to show how intensely I felt for him, but without words.

"Elena," Damon began, but I batted his hands away with annoyance.

Taking him in my hand and lightly grazing up and down, I looked up into his shocked expression.

"Shut up," I warned him of stopping me before dropping my face to eye level with his manhood.

Taking a deep breath, I paused before blowing the air gently over his tip. I giggled a bit when it twitched in my hand. At a snail-like pace, my mouth approached his engorged member and tenderly kissed the head. Thankfully, at this point, I was still pretty drunk, because otherwise, I would definitely not have been this brazen on my own. Like I'd heard from Caroline, I stuck my tongue out and let my spit trickle down his shaft. Retracting my tongue, I laved it in wetness and repeated the action of coating Damon with my own saliva. I could tell he was surprised when his hips jerked, and his head fell back, letting out a pained groan.

"Christ," He cursed, which only made me laugh.

Finally, deciding I'd teased him enough, I twisted my hand a couple of times to spread the wetness before starting a steady rhythm. His garbled curses were music to my ears and even lit up my libido like a Christmas tree. I'd never been so turned on before just from giving someone oral. Stretching my lips, I took him in my mouth and began bobbing my head in a counter rhythm to my hand. Extraordinarily, Damon managed to control his thrusts and never stuffed my mouth so I couldn't breathe. He actually made it relatively easy for me. An insistent throbbing increased between my legs when Damon's fingers ran through my hair, gently pushing my hair behind my ear and revealing my face to him. As my nails dug into his ass, my eyes raised to his, and we shared an impossibly sordid look as I hollowed my cheeks and suctioned him to the tip before repeating the action.

"Fuck! Elena, I'm-," He warned, but it was too late.

Thickness coated the inside of my mouth, and I swallowed, trying not to grimace because it was hard to find that sexy. Roughly, he hauled me to my feet and backed me up against the cold bricks of my house. Before I could react, his fingers impaled me while his thumb rubbed frantically at my clit. Overcome with emotions, my head fell back, and my leg hooked around his back as I rode his hand. Since I'd been so turned on beforehand, I didn't last long before I was trembling and sweaty. My orgasm was so sudden and hard that my knees buckled, but Damon's bulging arms came around my back and smushed me into his unyielding chest. I couldn't help but nuzzle him through his tee-shirt as I descended back down to earth.

"I...," I murmured and then exhaled with a chuckle.

It was unexplainable how intense that was. If I'd had control of my legs, I knew I would have dropped down to my knees again. The hedonistic feeling of bringing someone to the verge of control was addicting to say the least. When he was confident I could stand on my own, Damon released me but let his arms encircle me in a loose grip. We shared a yearning look before dropping our arms from each other. While he tucked himself back into his pants, I ran my hands up and down my arms to stave off the coldness. When Damon noticed this, he shrouded me in his leather jacket, which was incredibly heavy. Thankfully, I bore the weight and wrapped it around myself tightly.

"That...," I started but then closed my mouth.

Absently, Damon kicked at some dirt and looked anywhere but at me.

"I should probably, you know...," I muttered, gesturing up towards my window.

Man, this was so awkward. Even after we'd shared our bodies intimately without fear, we still managed to screw up the post-sex conversation.

"Yeah," Damon chuckled and hung his head shyly.

For some reason, his shy behavior made my heart seize in my chest. I walked to the house in thought. Before I re-entered, I turned and saw him still standing in the same place.

"Damon, this is...I don't think we should make it a thing," I decided without much conviction.

Much to my surprise, Damon nodded and met my eyes with a serious look.

"I know," He confirmed with a glum tone.

I nodded to myself. There. Done. No more hanky-panky between me and Damon. At least until I figured out what Stefan and I were. Or if there was even 'a Stefan and I' anymore.

"Goodnight," He bid me before starting down the road.

I couldn't help but feel slighted when he didn't look back.


	17. Chapter 17

Before, when I mentioned that Elena was wearing a "red outfit", I was really referencing the red slip that Nina was wearing during the Entertainment photo shoot when she's posing with Paul. Here's the link:

/photos/vampire-diaries-ew-cover-photo-shoot-outtakes/

ELENA POV

I spent the days physically aching to be close to someone. Well, specifically, I wanted to be close to a certain person. That certain person that I told not to see me again. Much to my horror, I found myself in a continually sour mood as I waited out his absence. Either way, one of us would be waiting a long time because both of us were stubborn as hell. I wanted to break so badly, but I didn't want to be the one to cave. That would mean that I was the weaker one, and I didn't want to need someone like that, especially right after Stefan had left. In Stefan's absence, I became stranded between hope that he would come back and despair that he would never return.

Walking into my bedroom, I kicked my shoes off and let my backpack drop to the carpet with a dull thud. Like a wilted flower, I drooped to my bed and held my face in my hands. What was happening to me? I just wanted to see him again. _Damon_. Even though I couldn't admit it to anyone else or myself, I wanted him. Like, a lot. He made me feel like the person I was before my parents died. Specifically, he made me want to live, and that in itself was scary. Despite my parents being dead for over a year now, I still felt obliged to stay in this town where I was born and raised while forcing myself to mourn internally and externally. I was living how my parents would have wanted me to live. Honestly, I was living under the control of the dead. Groaning, I removed my phone from my pocket as it began to vibrate. It was Caroline.

"Bitch, what are you wearing tonight?"

I drew a blank at her question.

"Tonight?" I balked.

I could tell that she was rolling her eyes theatrically at my memory loss.

"Elena! Get your head out of your ass! Tyler's party? _Hello!_ We've been talking about this all week," She reminded me sternly.

"Oh, right," I sighed mournfully.

At my tone, Caroline went into a hissy fit and threatened me to not ruin her night by being my usual, sad self.

"I'll be there, I promise," I droned, absently playing with the stitched on flowers of my comforter.

"Wear as little as possible," She chirped before hanging up.

The thought of going to Tyler's party sounded as painful as having my fingernails pulled out. I shuddered at the realization that I would have to sit around and make small talk with people I didn't care about until Caroline let me go home. I was definitely not in the jovial mood to party. There was nothing to celebrate, in my mind. I had lost Stefan. Again. Damon was...somewhere, and I didn't want to think about how he made me feel. Or that I didn't hate him anymore but actually kind of liked him.

Slowly, I rose and began to flip through my wardrobe choices. Caroline told me to wear as little as possible, but I didn't feel like flashing skin or being sexy. I wanted to stay at home and lay in bed watching movies. My life had been so dull and limited lately that I wanted to scream. Everything seemed like such a joke, and every other minute, I was emotionally imbalanced. Of course, no one knew that I was always on the verge of tears, but it was still exhausting to save face all the time.

After a couple of minutes, I picked a black dress with cut-outs on the side and a very low cut v-neck in the front that was framed in lace. Slipping on my black buckled heels, I strode to the mirror to touch up my makeup. It took me a minute to realize that I had been staring into my own eyes. I didn't know what I was looking at. Turning my head to the side, I scanned my face for...any signs of life. There was no light in my eyes. My skin was haggard from my lack of sleep. I was the same girl, but I had lost one more loved one. Unfairly, I had been left behind, alone.

When I got to Tyler's house, the party was in full swing. As I was contemplating sneaking away, I saw Caroline, who was enthusiastically waving for me to join her. Bonnie was sitting with her on the expensively upholstered couch, sipping at her red solo cup. I clopped over with my heavy shoes and sunk down next to them with a tired smile. Almost as soon as I had sat down, Matt rushed over and took the space next to me. Without a word, he handed me a drink, which I accepted gratefully.

"Where's Tyler?" I yelled over the pounding music.

"Who cares? Look at this place," Caroline laughed and flicked her bouncy hair over her shoulder.

I nodded in agreement and looked around. Fellow classmates were nearly draped over every surface of the mansion. In nearly every corner, a couple was necking lazily or laughing into each other's faces. So, basically, there was nothing new. Nothing exciting, I noted regretfully.

"You okay?" Bonnie shouted, leaning forward and towards me.

Mutely, I nodded and gave her another wan smile.

"Oh, look! There's Amber! Let's go say 'hi'," Caroline suddenly announced, pulling Bonnie with her.

Then there were two. I looked over at Matt, who also looked lost in his own thoughts.

"How are you?" I inquired softly.

"Uh...fine," He answered slowly before standing up.

"I gotta check on the keg," He excused, and I gave him an understanding smile.

When he was gone, I crossed my legs and watched the people stumble around while shouting profanities at each other. I was in the middle of my internal monologue when I caught a flash of leather in the crowd. Without thinking, I jumped up and dove into the streams of people. Everyone was dancing and bumping me around so that I had a difficult time following the looming figure with dark hair.

"Damon," I breathed, knowing that he would still hear me with his special vampire powers.

His back stiffened as he turned around, and our eyes met. I struggled not to melt on the spot at the look he was giving me. He was yearning, and I was, too. I wanted him, and in that moment, I knew he felt the same. Much to my surprise, he turned and fled the room, leaving me speechless. Stumbling out of the room, I climbed the stairs with my drink and escaped into one of the many unoccupied rooms. When I was safely inside, I burst into tears for some reason. I was so tired, and I just wanted to go home. I wanted Damon to myself in some odd, childlike way. I wanted him to like me and to want me more than I wanted him.

After I chugged my entire cup, I fell back onto the bed and let the tears pool around my head, soaking my hair. My body shook gently with quiet whimpers. When the door slammed open, I assumed it was an amorous couple seeking shelter, so I didn't get up. However, the door closed quietly, and steps came nearer to the bed. Reluctantly, I sat up and froze.

"Need company?" Damon asked.


	18. Chapter 18

Elena POV

"Get out," were the first words out of my mouth.

Clearly, the alcohol was starting to affect my cognitive state. Unfazed by my words, Damon sauntered closer and closer until his belt buckle was nearly on my lips. Unable to help myself, I gazed up at him while trying to keep my heart flying out of my chest. Despite my dismissal, my hands came up to undo his belt and slid it out of the loops slowly. When the belt thudded to the floor, two hands closed around my wrists and hauled me to my feet. Looking into his fiery eyes, I became overly aware that we were impossibly close together and touching at every edge of skin.

"What are you doing?" Damon whispered with a smile as my hands dove into his pants to untuck his shirt.

"Nothing," I feigned while tangling my fingers in his hair before slamming his mouth down onto mine.

Amidst our passionate necking, two voices began to garble just outside the door. Damon paused with his hand up my skirt, realizing we were about to be walked in on. When he detangled himself from me, I began to whine and plant wet kisses along his collar bone.

"Elena, unless you want to continue this party with two new members, we're gonna have to split," He whispered urgently.

I struggled through my lust-filled fog to plan our escape. Before we had even moved an inch, the doorknob was turning.

"You didn't lock the door?" I hissed in panic.

Instead of answering me, Damon proceeded to hook one arm around my midsection and pulled me into the nearby closet, effectively hiding us both. As I began to protest, Damon's hand closed over my mouth to prevent any noise from escaping. Silently, we watched as the couple stumbled into the room in a flurry of hands and mouths. I struggled not to gasp as they fell to the bed and started ripping each other's clothes off. Suddenly, the situation became unbearably erotic as I watched while Damon pressed against my back. Unable to control my blazing lust, I shimmied against Damon's front, signaling that I wanted him to touch me. He paused a moment before his hands skimmed up my arms, up and down, teasing the hairs there. I sighed and lolled my head back against his chest when his hands latched onto my hips and pushed me back against his noticeable desire. Just feeling him through his pants, pressed against me, kick-started my heart, and I struggled not to pant too loudly in the cramped darkness. When his hand cupped me over my dress, I whimpered and closed my eyes.

"No. Watch," Damon breathed in my ear.

Instantly, my eyes popped open and struggled to stay that way as I felt Damon's fingers push in and circulate. Impatiently, I moved with his hand, the fever pitch running higher in my blood. God, I was so aroused and wild that I didn't care if that couple caught me and Damon in the closet. I just wanted him to fuck me. With a growl, I reached behind and started to hastily pull at his belt. Always two steps ahead of me, Damon worked himself free and slipped my underwear to the side before savagely pulling me back onto his engorged member. I had to bite my lip to prevent my loud moan as I felt him bob inside me.

Behind the safety of the closet door, Damon and I watched through the open slats as the couple writhed around on the bed, uninhibited and unaware that they were being watched. Before, I'd always thought watching other people wouldn't be for me, but it was unbelievably hot. I could never have pictured Stefan and I doing something like this. Silently, I thanked the universe that Damon was so kinky. Otherwise, I could have gone my whole life with boring sex.

Our movements became more desperate, and I still couldn't believe that the couple couldn't hear our panting and moaning from the inside of the closet. Unbeknownst to myself, I was keeping the rhythm of the woman on the bed as she bounced on the man with her head fallen back and her breasts jutted out and jostling gently with every rise and fall. My fingers gripped the shuttered doors in a vice-like hold as Damon's nails sunk into the soft flesh of my hips. For a few minutes, my world seemed like a crazy sort of movie what with the way that couple was moving in front of us and how the door was shaking like a trembling leaf. When my grip gave out, Damon and I stumbled back into the wall of the closet with an echoing thud. Thankfully, Damon didn't stop and instead bent us as if we were sitting in a chair. He leveraged himself by keeping his butt against the wall and planting his legs on either side of mine.

Unable to hold off my orgasm, I reached back and anchored one hand in Damon's sweaty hair and tugged voraciously. Somehow, Damon made it hotter when one of his wet palms covered my mouth to prevent my loud exclamation from escaping as my orgasm tore through me until I could barely stand. The only things preventing me from falling into a heap on the floor were Damon's arms, which anchored me to him. It was a possessive and impossibly sexy gesture to have someone's arm wrapping tightly across my chest and thighs, effectively opening me up whether I wanted it or not. Trust me, though, I did want it.

It seemed like we went on for years and years this way. When Damon's ivy-like hold released me, I nearly tumbled to the ground, but much to my surprise, he twirled me around and propped me in his arms as we were chest-to-chest. Our eyes met, and our pants mingled against each other's mouths. Reaching between us, I joined us again as we kept eye-contact. My legs rested against each hip bone, and I clutched him to me like he was my lifeline. I buried my face in his neck and panted loudly into his skin while he endlessly rocked me against him. I was amazed at his stamina and self-control while mine was severely lacking because I just kept coming again and again. At the same time, I wanted it to end but also to never end. I couldn't take anymore, I told myself. I would die if I kept coming like this, over and over again. But, I didn't. When it became unbearable due to my heightened sensitivity and my lips becoming pouty with each orgasm, I gave myself over to the sensation and savagely bit down on Damon's tee-shirt covered shoulder. Thankfully, this seemed to set him off, and his knees buckled with the force of his orgasm.

When my back hit the ground, all the air was knocked out of me, but I didn't mind. I had the best view in the house. Damon's face above me, all scrunched up in the features due to the mighty force of his orgasm. It was pretty funny actually. Actually, I don't think anyone could avoid looking comical with their cum-face. Damon was no exception, either. As he came down from his high, his forehead rested against mine, and we both struggled to even our breaths. Lightly, I stroked his damp hair and petted his sweaty face.

"They're gone," I whispered when I realized that the couple had exited the room.

At this, Damon simply laughed, and his eyes glowed down at me in merriment.

"I know. They've been gone for awhile," He confessed with a smug look.

His laughter began again probably due to the outraged expression on my face. I started slapping his arms and shoulders and trying to push his substantial body weight off me. He rocked back on his heels began to make himself look presentable again as I bemoaned how sweaty and disheveled I had become. If I left the room like this, everybody would know what I had been doing.

"You're unbelievable, I muttered with a poorly hidden smile.

Pushing open the doors, I was laved in the most wonderful cool air. However, I stopped in my tracks when I registered that we had company. There, perched on the bed like it was her throne, Caroline sat with a disapproving expression.

"How long has _this_ been going on?"


	19. Chapter 19

Elena POV:

Her expression and words made my stomach plummet to the floor in a millisecond.

"Wha-what? I don't know-," I babbled.

When Caroline's hand popped up, my mouth shut up of its own accord. I'd been accosted by Caroline several times in the past, and I knew that arguing with her in this state was futile. She knew what she wanted to say, and nothing could change her mind.

"It's not what it looks like," Damon tried half-heartedly.

At this, Caroline just speared him with a withering look and then dropped her gaze to his jeans.

"Your fly," She suggested soberly.

"Fuck," He hissed before zipping up his pants with a sheepish expression.

"So...you weren't just in that closet fucking each other's brains out?" Caroline asked in an innocent tone.

"Look, Caroline-," I started.

Again, her perfectly-manicured hand shot up to stop me. She took a deep breath and then exhaled deeply as she took in the vision of a very sweaty and flushed Damon and me.

"Does Stefan know about this?" She finally inquired with her eyebrows lifted.

Helplessly, I looked at Damon, but he looked equally as flabbergasted as me.

"I-,"

"Is this why he left?" Caroline continued relentlessly.

At her question, my eyes began to well up with tears. I didn't want to ever think about that horrid night again. About how he almost ripped me apart in his hunger.

"He left...because I messed up," I confessed with a crackly voice.

As the words left my mouth, I could feel Damon physically bristle behind me. Without warning, he twirled me around and grabbed me to him, looking down at me with badly-hidden fury.

"Don't you _ever_ think this was your fault. _I_ made him leave," He growled and shook me slightly for emphasis.

Even though I didn't quite believe him, I nodded my head in order to escape his furious gaze. During our encounter, Caroline had gotten up off the bed and was toying with her jewelry, pretending not to listen in.

"If I hadn't...that night...," I argued weakly.

"What night?" Caroline peeped from behind me.

Slowly, Damon let me go, and I turned to see Caroline looking at me with concern. All the blood drained from my face as I began to see Caroline putting together the puzzle. To stop her, I frantically started to explain,

"No, no. We talked about this. It was-."

"Elena, he _attacked_ you," Damon boomed from behind me, twirling me back around.

I was starting to get dizzy at all the accusations and having to censor everything I had to say in front of Caroline. What I knew Caroline knew and what she didn't know seemed to bleed together in my confusion.

"Wait, he _attacked_ you? You said it was rough sex," Caroline squawked from behind me, twirling me around to face her.

"No, no, it was-," I scrambled to explain.

Unconsciously, I was swaying on my feet. All I wanted to do was stop the yelling and go home.

"Elena, rough sex? Are you kidding me?" Damon barked out in exasperation.

In vain, I turned to sooth his accusations so he wouldn't keep talking in front of Caroline.

"Damon, I know you care about me, but it _was_ just rough sex," I explained slowly and gently as if he were a spooked animal.

"No, Elena. It was rape," He said, his words falling like an axe and cutting all the air from the room.

His tone was final, and his gaze was scarily determined. I hated that word so much! And Damon had to go and run his big mouth! I would have _never_ used that word in the same sentence as Stefan's name. It was dishonorable! He was suffering and weak. He could have never raped me even if he wanted to. But, he would _never ever_ hurt me in any way. That night, he got too rough, but it was okay because he was my boyfriend and loved me, and I loved him. It was an accident.

"Rape?" Caroline whispered from behind me.

Staring daggers at Damon, I turned and faced Caroline, which was a big mistake. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her bottom lip was trembling dangerously.

"What happened?" She asked in a hushed tone, and I couldn't stand it.

Nothing happened!

"Nothing! Damon is just being a drama queen," I promised, but she did not look convinced.

Despite me standing right there, she shared a look with Damon over my head. Their actions were so uncalled for and irritating to me. In fact, I'd never been angrier in my entire life. I wanted to pummel both of them until they stopped talking. My head was pounding, and I was beginning to break out in a nervous sweat. Caroline reached out to me in a comforting way, but I dodged her and spun towards the door, walking backwards.

"Elena-," She tried again, but I just kept shaking my head.

"Nothing happened. Drop it. Please," I pleaded before turning and flying out the door.

I kept my head down and prayed that nobody would try to stop me as I tore through the house and out the door with tears streaming down my face. How dare they accuse Stefan of something like that? That was so horrible. He would _never_ do something that evil. _His undying love prevented him from harming me_ , I thought. Stefan harming me was as likely as an asteroid hitting a moving target. I mean, he _had_ bit me, apparently, but I still wasn't sure. Of course, I trusted Damon, but he did tend to be a little overdramatic at times.

When I got home, I raced up the steps and locked all my doors and windows, sobbing quietly and shaking with fear. I paced around for awhile until I plopped onto my bed and fell back. Looking up at the ceiling, I tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of tears drenching my hair and ears. _Stefan would never do something so evil_ , I kept repeating to myself. I was easing my way into sleep when my cellphone rang from its place on my vanity. Groaning, I sat up and made my way over, assuming it was either Damon or Caroline calling to harass me some more.

"What?" I snapped as soon as I answered it.

There was nothing but silence on the other end, and it made a wild chill roll down my back.

"Hello?" I tried again in a softer voice.

 _Wow, this was really creepy. Who would call me and not say anything?_ It was almost...poetic. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head, and I gasped,

"Stefan?"

Then, the line went dead.


	20. Chapter 20

Damon POV:

 _God, I'm so stupid!_ After Elena's frantic departure from the party, I shoved past Caroline and chased after her like an idiot. I wanted to give her time to calm down, so I walked like a regular human and kept a good distance between us. Even though I was yards behind her and completely invisible to her, I could smell the snot and tears and fear exuding from her. _Poor girl. My poor girl_ , I kept thinking. It was a struggle to think clearly when all I was seeing was red. If I had an inkling of where Stefan had gone, I would've hunted him down, dragged him back to Mystic Falls, and made him fix whatever he broke in Elena. I'd never seen her so haywire before, and it was really starting to scare me. It physically pained me to see that Elena still blamed herself for what Stefan did to her and that he had to leave. No matter what I said, her eyes betrayed her disbelief at my words. And, if that conversation with Caroline was any indication, Elena still hadn't come to terms with what happened to her that night. Well, both nights, I guess. I mean, I had 'rolled in the hay' a good amount of time in my bountiful years, but I still knew rough sex when I saw it, and that was definitely not rough sex.

When she stumbled through her front door, I nearly barreled in right after her, but seeing as she was still in such a fit, I gave her space and hung back in the shadows outside her house. Just below her window, I could hear her pacing and sniffling for an admirable amount of time. I was actually pretty impressed with how long she was able to stampede around that little room of hers after our little sex marathon in the closet. After what seemed like hours, I sighed in defeat seeing as she still hadn't let up on her pacing and whimpering. No matter what I wanted to say, she wouldn't have heard me when she was clearly so upset. Also, it might've been awhile since I'd be welcomed back into her presence again after arguing with her in front of Caroline. From the look she gave me, a man sitting thousands of miles away would've keeled over from the lethality of it.

Back at the boardinghouse, I poured myself a tall glass of bourbon and lowered myself into the closest chair to the fire. Wait, the fire was going, but I hadn't started that fire. At least, I didn't remember doing it. _Fuck_. I dropped my face into my hands and groaned at all the trouble I'd caused tonight. I was going crazy most likely. Obviously, Elena had some problems accepting what had happened to her. She'd nearly died _and_ a loved one betrayed her in one of the worst ways possible. At the end of the day, she was still a teenage girl who was in the process of grieving for her parents who were still fresh in the ground. I should've given her more time to figure out how she felt. In all honesty, I probably didn't help the situation by confronting her in front of her best friend and revealing all sorts of information I knew she hadn't wanted Caroline to know.

Well, there was no use getting upset about it. What was done was done! Elena would go back to hating my guts, and so would all her friends. I would stay in this graveyard of a town despite the hauntings of who I used to be. Still, I couldn't help myself getting angry when Elena started to defend _him_. It was complete bullshit! Over the years, I'd heard of women getting beaten to a pulp by their boyfriends and still worshipping them. Before Elena, I'd felt like that was some ironic little joke for the universe to enjoy and none of my business whatsoever. I wasn't expecting Elena and Stefan's relationship to become any of my concern, but it was. Despite my public loathing for him, I still cared, at least for Elena because he had inevitably dragged her into all of his problems. I could spend an entire year bellowing out how hypocritical they were both for trumpeting Stefan's noble and saintly nature even though he _hurt_ her. I didn't realize exactly when I'd started to care for Elena, but I did. I did, deeply and disturbingly.

Even though I was a vampire with considerable experience on sneaking up on people, I could still get spooked when I was deep in thought. That's why I nearly fell out of my chair when my gaze swung over to the left and saw Elena standing in the open doorway like an apparition. Her skin was covered in dried, nervous sweat, and her face was paler than any corpse's I'd ever seen. Like her presence always did, my heart leapt into my mouth like a schoolboy seeing a naked woman for the first time. She looked exhausted, and with good reason. The bags under her eyes made her look ten years older, and her fingers were outstretched and twitching like she was some sort of junkie. Immediately, I leapt to my feet and struggled to pick my jaw up off the floor.

"Damon," She whispered, shuffling closer to me.

Her movement caused a whiff of her to sail through my senses, and I realized that she was physically oozing confusion and fear. And if I wasn't mistaken, the way her knees were wobbling signaled her impending fall. However, her stricken expression held my complete mental and physical attention.

"What?"

"He called," She answered with a shaky, whispy voice.

"Who called?"

" _Stefan_. _Stefan_ called me."


	21. Chapter 21

Damon POV:

" _Stefan_. _Stefan_ called me," Elena confessed in exasperation.

Despite her tear-filled eyes and burdened stance, I was the one who collapsed onto the couch as if my legs were suddenly turned into jello. Immediately seeing how shocked I was, Elena rushed over and perched next to me, anxiously peering into my eyes.

"Damon? Are you okay?" She asked, nearly on top of me.

Her concern for my welfare was beyond relieving, but I still couldn't comprehend how Stefan had managed to contact her or why. I hadn't expected him to reach out to anyone, especially not Elena! A surge of anger blew through my entire body and left me shaking. How dare he contact her! She didn't need this shit in her life right now. The whole point of him leaving was so that Elena could move on with her life.

"Stefan called you?" I huffed quietly, talking more to myself than anyone else.

I felt a small pressure on my upper arm and looked down to find Elena's small hand resting there. I couldn't help but feel surprised that she was touching me, especially during an emotional moment. And it wasn't just touching, either. She was trying to comfort me. Looking up into her large, brown eyes, I found myself spiraling down, down, down and feeling like I could fly. _Oh shit, I think I just fell in love_ , I thought to myself. Lightly, her hand roved up and down my upper arm while the fingers of her unoccupied hand stretched over my clenched fist and gently squeezed. Unable to take the way she was looking at me, I dropped my head to my chest and struggled to breathe through my constricting lungs. My chest felt like it was made of metal in that moment.

"It's okay...he didn't even say anything," She whispered before brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

We were both momentarily shocked into silence at the tenderness in her voice and of those comforting actions. With much effort, I swallowed heavily before lifting my gaze back up to meet hers. As soon as our eyes met, we fell under some sort of trance. It was as if we were in slow-motion as Elena's hand felt my cheek before turning my head to hers, giving me a firm but motionless kiss on the lips. When we pulled away, Elena rested her forehead against mine and blew out a long, shaky breath. Suddenly, I felt absolutely parched of her, so I grabbed her chin in my hand and tilted her head back up. Her nervous grin and glowing eyes didn't help my growing feeling of desperation to devour her.

Before either of us could ruin the moment, I grabbed her almost the same moment that she leapt for me. Cradling her in my lap, I tried to kiss her senseless, but she seemed to need this as much as I did. When her fingers twined through my hair and yanked lightly, my resolve seemed to vanish, and I shoved her down onto her back on the couch without warning. I could tell she was surprised by my action but didn't move to stop me. In fact, she actually made it easier for me when she started to grind against my leg while fumbling with my belt in her haste. Next, her shirt was off, and her bra was gone, and I was looking down at the unblemished, youthful skin that had been untouched by age.

Remembering where Stefan nearly tore her open, I lovingly swept my thumb across her breast and nipple. My hand came down to rest at her waist, and I looked up into her eyes for permission. Her gaze had softened from my feathery touch as she remembered that night, too. On _that_ night, she had scared me to death, and that was a substantial feat because I was already dead. While we shared an intimate look, I realized that I didn't want to fuck her tonight. Strangely, I wanted to worship her body and pour out all my stupid, gooey feelings into making her feel the most pleasure she had ever felt before. As stupid as it sounded, I wanted to make love to Elena.

"Bed?" I suggested, rolling a strand of Elena's hair around my finger lazily.

She smiled like it was goddamn Christmas morning and nodded. _Jesus_. Quickly, I scooped her up and raced upstairs because I just couldn't wait any longer. As soon as Elena's back hit the sheets, I was on top of her, trying to consume her mouth with my tongue. When she was left breathless and writhing, I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head. Carelessly, I tossed it behind me and descended onto Elena's lips again. My belt was already loose from our romp downstairs, so it didn't take much work for her nimble hands to free me as she used her toes to expertly push everything else to the floor.

Briefly, I stepped out of my clothes and kneeled back to peel off Elena's underwear. Tonight, they were innocent-looking, pink bikini bottoms with white hearts littering the fabric. Without thought, I gave her a smoldering look before running my nose up and down the damp cotton, giving it an appreciative inhale. When I looked back up, Elena was completely red in the face from my actions, which only made me hungrier than before, if that were even possible. My fingers curled over the elastic, and in a flash, they were gone. Before Elena could protest, I pulled her butt to the edge of the bed and hooked one leg over my shoulder. Again, I inhaled heartily and let out a long growl, which made Elena shudder.

After 15 minutes, I wrenched myself away because I couldn't take much more of her pleasured sobbing without my dick fully embedded in her. Instead of slamming into her like I usually did, I made sure to lie fully on top of her until her breasts were crushed against my chest and looked into her eyes while stroking her hair.

"Please," She murmured, lifting her hips up in invitation.

The baleful and guiltless expression on her face made me want to collapse on her chest and hold her and never let her go and promise that I'd protect her and beg her to be mine, but my aching lower body prevented me from doing this. With no space between us, I gently lifted her leg and rested it high on my waist while Elena chewed on her lip and nervously darted her eyes around my face all the while inching myself in. When I was fully enveloped in her heat, I cupped her face with one hand and braced myself with the other. We kissed slowly and without wild abandon like we had in the past. Somehow, this time felt different, probably because I wasn't trying to seek out my own pleasure or celebrate my success in holding something over Stefan. This was only about Elena and me, and there was nobody else in the room that night. Only two grieving souls looking for a home in each other.


	22. Chapter 22

Elena POV:

"We can't keep ending up like this," I murmured with a smile.

Minutes before I had said this, Damon and I were crying out each other's name in an explosion of pure ecstasy. Despite the tender and slow nature of our coupling, Damon and I were both covered in a light layer of sweat and laid on our backs next to each other on the bed, each trying to recover our normal breathing patterns. When I had come to the boardinghouse to talk to him, I'd never thought we'd end up in his bed, physically sticking to his sheets with the sweat we procured ourselves. Since the beginning of our rocky, mutually beneficial relationship, we'd had a problem keeping our hands off each other. Even though we had more problems than ever, we couldn't seem to stop falling into bed. Don't get me wrong-the sex was more than satisfactory, but Damon and I had a lot of things we needed to talk about.

Even stranger was how Damon had handled me tonight. He was never too rough, but I did appreciate his no-nonsense attitude about what each of us wanted. Still, he had never been that...loving. It was very off-putting, especially because I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't saying that it wasn't nice-because it was-but it was so uncharacteristically Damon. At least, it was uncharacteristic for the Damon he had allowed me to see so far, which still wasn't much.

"I don't know...I like this much better than arguing," He chuckled as his gaze roved over my entire, exposed body.

I rolled my eyes at his antics.

"Damon, be serious. We need to talk," I reminded him, even though my tone wasn't so convincing.

At this, he ignored me and began to trace his fingers over any skin that he could, which was incredibly distracting for me. Because he had seemed so emotionally shaken earlier, I didn't want to stop him from his little explorations, but we did need to talk.

"Damon," I groaned, partially in pleasure and partially in annoyance as he crooked his finger over and over inside of me, causing my body to arch off the bed.

"Talk. I'm listening," He suggested with that deadly smirk.

Knowing that he was not one to be stopped and that I didn't want him to stop anyways, I began to unconsciously move with his hand while thinking of what to say.

"Why do you think Stefan called me?" I panted in confusion.

Mentioning Stefan's name made Damon's actions come to a screeching halt, and much to my embarrassment, I whined like a child and shoved myself down onto his fingers, trying to get him to continue. When Damon looked up at me with those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes, it nearly stopped my heart. Plus, I couldn't exactly complain with my view since my naked legs were framing those beautiful cheekbones.

"How did you know it was Stefan?" He inquired suddenly.

My mouth popped open in surprise. I hadn't even considered that it hadn't been Stefan!

"But who else would call me and not say anything?" I responded.

"I don't know," Damon answered in an unsure tone.

Thankfully, his dexterous fingers had gotten back to work and were playing my body like I was an unbearably tight set of strings. Combined with the wetness from my previous orgasm, the new arousal gathered by Damon's fingers were helping to pump me into oblivion. Looking down, I could see how easily they entered me due to their slippery coating. Damon's face rested against my upper thigh with his face turned up to mine. That smug bastard didn't even need to see what he was doing because he was that good. He had a soft smile and a proud expression, which soon became my undoing. I closed my eyes as lights burst behind my eyelids, and my clenched fists pulled at the sheets. With my head thrown back and my mouth wide open, I frantically lunged up and down Damon's fingers, all the while rubbing as much of his coarsened hand as possible.

"Phew!" I gasped, falling flat onto my back after my orgasm had subsided.

Mirroring a jungle cat, Damon crawled up my body and planted a hard kiss on my lips. We both laughed when his erection jumped to attention but continued to kiss leisurely, building each other up into a slow burn when Damon's phone suddenly rang from the pile of discarded clothes on the floor.

"Ignore it," I demanded before pulling roughly on Damon's hair and slamming my lips back onto his.

Damon seemed to echo my sentiments exactly as he yanked my leg up impatiently and dove in without warning. Before moving, his forehead came to rest on mine as we breathed out slowly in unison. When our eyes met, I felt like the whole universe had fallen away and that we were the only two people left on earth. I know it sounded corny, but I really felt like Damon had taken a part of me and I of him. With him firmly lodged inside me with nowhere else in mind, I'd never felt so terrifyingly close to another human being in my life. The scariest part was that Damon and I were becoming one entity that needed its counterpart to survive. As he gently pulled out and paused to relish the pleasure before surging back in, his phone went off again. It was relentless!

"You should get that," I sighed woefully, nodding to the raucous pile of clothes.

"Fuck. Sorry, babe," He whispered regretfully and pressed a brief kiss to my forehead before vacating me and slumping to the floor to retrieve his phone.

Unashamedly, I leaned up on my elbows to catch a glimpse of that award-winning ass. Without looking at who was calling, Damon answered with the tersest greeting ever, and I couldn't help but laugh at the murderous expression on his face. Deciding he might be awhile, I hopped up off the ruined sheets and gave him a sweet peck on the cheek as I walked by.

"I need a shower, anyways. Feel free to join me," I announced breezily, tossing my hair behind me and sauntering into the bathroom.

I didn't need eyes in the back of my head to know that Damon's attention followed me the entire way.


	23. Chapter 23

Damon POV:

All I knew was that one second, I was wrapped up in Elena's wet heat, and the next, I wasn't. Honestly, I would never have answered that phone, even if it were myself calling from the future, if it hadn't been for Elena's insistence. She was probably just worn-out, I noted with a wolfish smile. I certainly gave her a good workout today, and I hadn't planned on letting us sleep the rest of the night, either. I figured that she probably deserved a break, though. She would have a long night ahead of her.

"I need a shower, anyways. Feel free to join me," Elena teased, strolling on by with an exaggerated sway of her hips.

 _That little minx!_ Of course, I took full credit for unleashing this hellcat's hidden fire since she was still an insecure tangle of shyness when I first received her. Oh, the things I could teach her! Being alive for so long definitely leant itself many perks, including several guided tours as to what made women scream. Pulling on my boxers, I stumbled out of the room, struggling to shake that alluring picture Elena made from my head. Through a fog of lust, I heard someone trying to speak.

"Sorry. Who is this?" I muttered quickly, wanting to get back to my plan of exercising Elena to the point of exhaustion.

"Damon, it's Stefan. Looks, it's important-," I heard.

At the sound of his voice, my vision turned red, and I was tempted to throw the phone down the stairs just to be away from his unnecessary presence.

"You bastard! That was a shit move you pulled-calling her and not saying anything! It really creeped her out, you know. Didn't I tell you to never show your sorry-ass face around here again?" I snarled into the phone.

There was a pregnant silence before Stefan responded. I could tell that he was thinking over what I had said. For some reason, his silence felt confused instead of ashamed.

"You did call her, didn't you?" I huffed, hoping to move this conversation along.

I just wanted him to state what he wanted so he could go away. Forever, preferably.

"I...did not call her. I haven't even been in running distance of civilization, but I needed to call you about something I saw," He rambled nervously.

Sighing, I switched over the phone to my other ear while I rubbed my face in exasperation. Classic Stefan. Always had to make the situation more dramatic with his poetic inclinations.

"Now...for some reason, I don't believe you. Who else would call her and not say anything?" I parroted from me and Elena's earlier conversation.

Something about that question didn't seem so easy to answer, however. I had sincerely hoped that it was Stefan who had called her. If it wasn't Stefan, we had a bigger problem on our hands.

"That's why I'm calling, Damon. Look, yesterday...I saw something," He confessed in a low voice that made the hairs on my arms stand up.

There wasn't much in this world that could spook a vampire, so I knew that if Stefan was scared, it must have been really bad.

"What?" I inquired, turning around to check that Elena wasn't listening in.

Thankfully, I could hear Elena's shower running and her contented sighs coming from that blessed little mouth. Tearing my thoughts away from the image of Elena rubbing herself all over my shower, I worked over the problem. Someone had called Elena, but it wasn't Stefan. As a witness to the quasi-actions of someone falling off the blood-wagon over the centuries, I was still skeptical about my brother's denial. One had to understand that Stefan on human blood wasn't really Stefan anymore. There were different rules about how to play this game if I was dealing with a Ripper.

"It was...I can't really explain it. I could have sworn...Elena's in Mystic Falls, right?" Stefan checked.

"Yes, I just saw her," I promised, conveniently leaving out the part about having been inside of her not even ten minutes ago.

"It doesn't make sense! You say that Elena's in Mystic Falls, but I saw her. _Elena_. She was here, walking around. I knew it was her! At least, it looked just like her, whoever it was," He panted softly.

I listened intently to the background of his call and discovered the sounds of twigs snapping and wind whipping past the receiver.

"Are you running?" I laughed incredulously.

Of all the things to be doing during a phone call!

"Yes! I'm going somewhere more...secluded. I still need time to recover, but Damon, if that wasn't Elena...," Stefan trailed off with suggestion in his voice.

Even though Stefan could not have seen me, I was shaking my head vehemently.

"No, no, no. She's in the tomb," I reminded him with a steely voice, but my stress level had already risen sky high.

"But what if she's not?" Stefan whispered.

The thought made me feel like an earthquake had gone through the boardinghouse. Unconsciously, I swayed on my feet as the floor began to move under me.

"No, that's not possible," I swore, this time sounding less confident.

"Keep her safe, Damon," Stefan gruffly ordered before hanging up.

With one hand on the bannister and the phone in the other, I shook my head in disbelief. There was no way...How could she have...? No, it wasn't possible. But if there even were the slightest possibility, could I risk Elena's safety? I didn't want to admit it, but if trouble were to come find us here in the quant town of Mystic Falls, I would need some backup, but I would have rather gotten my fingernails torn out than have Elena and Stefan be in the same room together again. Exhaling deeply, I ran my hands through my hair and gradually regained my equilibrium. _Trouble, stay away from Elena because there's a new protector in town, and he's not afraid to get Medieval._


	24. Chapter 24

Elena POV:

It was a disappointment to wait so long for Damon to finish with his cellphone. Sighing, I decided he might have been awhile, so I started to actually shower, despite that not being my original intention. I had hoped that Damon would be so kind as to help me check off an item on my secret fantasy list: shower sex. Ever since that first night when I felt like a wild animal had taken over my spirit, I wanted to try _everything_. Well, not everything, per se. At least I wanted to do some of the more basic stuff that Caroline or my other friends had done. Before, I'd always felt like the odd one out when we talked about our sex lives because I was a late-bloomer in terms of sex. I mean, I had pretty normal, underwhelming sex with Matt when we were dating, but we had only really done that because we felt like we had to. I could've counted on one hand the amount of times we'd made love in the entire time we dated.

 _Elena Gilbert, the sex fiend_ , I thought to myself with a wry smile. Never before had I been so obsessed with sex. Perhaps it was because I never knew how much fun it could be. And if only Damon would finish that damn phone call...Wait a second. There was a fine line between desperate and horny, and I was not about to cross it. I didn't need Damon to have fun. _Even though he made it so much better,_ I noted dismally. Fuck that! I was a fully-empowered woman with the ability to take care of myself.

Letting out a peaceful sigh, I rested my forehead against the cool tiles and let the hot water spill down my back. Gently, I trailed my fingers down my body from my breasts to my abdomen. In the back of my mind, I noted that there was some soreness in that region, but I ignored this. I was probably just over-worked from Damon's previous attention. Slipping my hand between my legs, I exhaled and lolled my head in pleasure. Like Damon would do, I teased myself by whispering my touch on my outer lips. When I couldn't take it anymore, I let one finger gently crawl in while the other worked my clit in super slow circles. Just as I was nearing that brilliant eruption of pleasure, my stomach cramped painfully. Surprised, I withdrew my finger to find it covered in blood. Blood? But why would I be bleeding? I wasn't hurt...

"Shit," I hissed and lifted my head from the tiles in annoyance.

I'd totally forgotten that I hadn't gotten my period at all that month, so it was inevitable that I'd get it sooner or later. Ugh! That was so unfortunate because that meant no sex for at least a week. I knew Damon wouldn't be especially happy about the unexpected celibacy, but I'd try to take care of him. As I was staring angrily at the red stain that was causing me so much irritation, I heard the shower door slide open, signaling that Damon was finally going to join me.

"Start without me?" He teased, reaching for me, but I turned and backed away, lining my back up against the wall.

His smile turned into a confused frown until his eyes recognized that I was holding my hand behind my back like it was a secret. With a naughty glint in his eye, he reached for me again, but I dodged him.

"Whatcha got there? Show the big, scary vampire," He ordered darkly.

Mutely, I shook my head and attempted to wipe the offending blood into the tiles in order to conceal it, but Damon quickly intercepted it. Despite my struggling, he easily held up my finger for inspection. Upon identifying the substance, his grin grew like a weed, and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. _Uh oh..._

"I'm sorry, Damon," I apologized, sounding deeply sincere and unhappy.

At this, his head cocked to the side in confusion.

"What are you sorry for?" He inquired with a bewildered expression.

"We won't be able to have sex for like...a week. At least," I explained guiltily, like it was my fault.

Damon's expression became one of annoyed comprehension.

"Because of this? A little period blood?" He questioned, exasperated.

I nodded slowly like it was common sense. I didn't understand why he was being so hard on me. I mean, I knew it was technically my fault that I was having a period since it was my body, but he didn't have to get all prickly about it. I would still take care of him.

"You're ridiculous," He sneered, twirling me around and pushing my upper back down so that I was bent nearly horizontal to his towering figure.

"Damon, don't. This is..," I trailed off helplessly, turning to give him a pleading look.

"This is, what? Gross? Obscene? Wrong? Who cares, Elena? I'm not gonna tell anyone if that's what you're worried about," He promised softly.

Well, if nobody knew...Still, this wasn't one of the things I wanted to check off on my list. Hell, it wasn't even on my list!

"It's...ugh!" I whined, unable to find the right words.

Sensing my conflicting emotions, Damon gently brought his hand around my front and tilted me back up and into his chest. He began gently stroking my hair and looked down into my nervous eyes with a tender expression.

"Look...you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Throughout the years, people have become convinced that certain things are wrong or immoral. Who are they to say what's wrong for other people? I really don't understand why this is still a norm...anyways, I want you. Like this. And it's not wrong or gross, not to me. I don't care, and if you don't care, then why not?"

His gaze was smoldering into mine, making my world feel like it was turning on its axis. I swear, that look could kill somebody with the pure sensuality of it. I knew my resolve was breaking, so I dropped my gaze and shrugged noncommittally, even though my heart was beating like crazy. I could feel Damon's erection poking my lower back urgently, which only made me fidget with need. Looking back up at him, I nodded my approval, which could not have made him happier. Unenthusiastically, I bent over and braced myself on the tiles, which made Damon snort in amusement at my discontentment.

"Relax, Elena. You'll like this," He promised gleefully.

I exhaled with an embarrassing loudness when his hands slid over my lower back to my cheeks and then down to my center. We both reflexively shifted as he aligned himself carefully. Thankfully, he didn't waste time and thrust in, immediately buoying out again. For some reason, Damon paused before entering me again. He seemed to be looking at something.

"Shiiiiit," He groaned in a strangled tone.

Thinking he might be hurt, I turned my head to see what he was looking at. With the most awe-struck expression I'd ever seen before, Damon was gazing down at his nearly unconcealed penis, which was covered in my blood. I gasped at the obscenity of it all, which brought his gaze up to mine. Whatever hang-ups I was still holding onto disappeared at his amazed expression. This pleased him, for some odd reason. Knowing that his desire was for me and for such an unseemly thing made my face burn with heat. I turned back and rested my forehead on the tiles just as he surged back in, immediately pulling out again until only the head was inside me.

"That's fucking beautiful, Elena," He whispered in complete adoration.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his overexcitement over something so...strange. It was so completely Damon to find pleasure in what others feared and whatever had centuries' worth of time being taboo. Getting lost in the resumed, unhurried bobbing, I closed my eyes and tried not to think. I nearly buckled in surprise when one of Damon's hands crawled up my back and gripped tightly onto my shoulder, all the while keeping his rhythm without pause.

Apparently, it gave him better leverage, but he still wasn't satisfied. Gently, his hand wound my wet hair into a long spiral around his forearm and gave it an insistent tug. When I didn't move right away, his fist tightened, and he pulled more firmly, which served to bring my back against his chest without hesitation. I thought that he'd have let go of my hair as I was spaced my feet apart to strengthen my stance. When I looked down, I couldn't help but think the way my pinky toes were nearly touching Damon's feet was kind of...cute.

"I knew this long hair was good for something," He whispered in my ear, which made me shudder like a starved junkie. In a way, he was sort of my drug.

Un-twirling my hair from his arm, one of his hands slowly crept down my body to cup me where we were joined. In maddeningly slow and tortuous circles, Damon rubbed my clit while his other hand expertly massaged my breasts, switching between each every few minutes. All the while, his quick breaths warmed my neck, which was driving me wild with desire. It was all too much. Each time with Damon only brought new heights of eroticism, which I never knew had even existed.

"Elena," He breathed, trying to get my attention.

"Damon," I echoed, letting one of my arms reach behind me so I could thread my fingers in his hair.

"Elena, who makes you come?"

I'd never thought of myself as one that got off on talking dirty, but just the way that those words left his lips as if they were only ever meant for me to hear was unbelievably sexy. Since I wasn't used to talking dirty or being talked dirty to, I ducked my head in embarrassment, hoping he would take mercy on me and keep tonguing my ear and planting wet, open-mouthed kisses along my neck and chin. Suddenly, his hand came up and grabbed my chin, roughly turning my face up to his. My eyes popped open in surprise as I took in his fully-vamped out face.

" _Who_ makes you come?" He asked impatiently, obviously unhappy with my reluctance to answer him.

Unable to force my face away, I gasped,

" _You_ make me come."

He must have been happy with my response because he released my head and resumed plucking at my nipple as if nothing had happened.

"Elena, who makes you come?" Damon murmured in my ear before biting my shoulder with his blunt teeth.

At first, I was slightly disappointed that it was his human teeth and not his fangs that had clamped down. _Woah, where did that come from?_

"Damon makes me come," I moaned loudly, hoping he would be happy with my answer.

Around us, the steam had camouflaged the bathroom into what seemed like a very hot, humid heaven. Sweat was falling nearly as quickly as the endlessly hot water from the nozzle. Again, I was bent over and bracing myself on the tiles again, exclaiming,

"Damon makes me come! Damon makes me come!" until I did.


	25. Chapter 25

Elena POV:

"I'm so sorry," I barely heard against my hair.

I was too groggy from sleep to realize who was pressing their entire weight on my chest, and I didn't recognize that I was in pain at first. As if in a haze, I pried my eyes open and found myself staring into luminous, green eyes directly above me. Slowly, I realized that I was still in Damon's bed and being pinned down by someone above me. I went to yank my arms away, but the intruder was much stronger than I was. He seemed really remorseful and nervous as he stared down at me.

"Stefan?" I gasped when I finally placed those familiar, green eyes.

Immediately upon identifying him, I began to thrash like a maniac, but no matter how panicked my movements were, Stefan was keeping my body fully under his with almost no effort on his part.

"Shh, shh. It's okay. Don't wake up Damon," He tried to hush me in a comforting tone.

When Damon's name was mentioned, I followed Stefan's gaze over to the opposite side of the bed where Damon was sleeping soundly, totally unaware of my growing terror.

"Please. Get off," I cried, tears leaking down my cheeks and soaking my hair.

"Elena, I'm so sorry. You have to forgive me," He insisted calmly, as if I wasn't falling to pieces beneath him.

"Let go! Let go!" I wept loudly, hoping to get Damon's attention.

But for some odd reason, Damon was not waking up.

"Say you forgive me. I love you," He cooed down at me with a sincere expression.

"Okay, okay! Get off me!" I panted as my body wiggled and weaved to escape his hold.

The look in those green eyes made my breath catch in my throat. He looked...scared. Of me? For me? I didn't know. Although I was exhausting myself by writhing around so much, I didn't stop. I couldn't. It was like an animal instinct had taken over.

"I really am sorry, Elena," He repeated solemnly.

His weight on my chest felt like I was suffocating to death. Briefly, I paused and listened to his words, bouncing them off the edges of my mind.

"Sorry for what?" I whispered quietly, not sure if I really wanted the answer.

As if to answer my question, his fangs slid out and glistened in the dark. His eyes fell to my neck, and his lips upturned into a serene smile. When our eyes met again, I saw that he had decided what he was going to do, so I began flailing harder than before, even though it was purely futile. Stefan's mouth ducked to my neck, and when his fangs managed to grip both sides of my artery, he sunk his teeth in before savagely ripping me open.

I didn't even have time to scream. I had bled out in seconds.

Gasping, I flew up into the seated position like I'd been launched from the bed. My body was covered in sweat, and my heart was hammering at a painfully fast pace. It was dark, but I could make out that I was naked with only a sheet to cover me. It was sticky with sweat...and something else. Slowly, I peeled off the sheet to find my legs covered in blood. My breath flew back into my throat, and my heart leapt in fear as I tried to orient myself to where I was. Was I in Stefan's bed again on the night he bit me and almost killed me?

I was trying not to lose it, especially while Damon was sleeping right next to me. Although I had a faint recollection of the past few hours, every time I closed my eyes, I felt like I was waking up again in Stefan's bed, covered in my own blood and gushing out fast. Trying to tell myself it was a dream, I attempted to calm my breathing, but the sight of my lower body covered in blood was too similar to the night I had almost died. And the dream had felt so real. Suddenly frightened that Damon would wake up and find me in such a state, I climbed out of bed, dragging the sheet along with me, wanting to hide the evidence. Since the house had a draft, I wrapped the sheet around myself and wandered downstairs. After surveying the fireplace, I decided that I was too inept to start my own fire. I would warm up another way.

Seeing Damon's bourbon stash out of the corner of my eye, I tiptoed over like a child peeking at their presents early. With shaky hands, I poured myself a drink, sloshing some on the sheet and myself in the process. I sat down on the couch with a sigh and sipped at the bourbon minutely. Briefly, I wondered how Damon could drink such stuff. It was unbelievably gross-tasting and super strong. Even though it wasn't exactly my drink of choice, I sipped and sipped until the fear ebbed away and the sleepiness returned. Thanks to the bourbon, I felt full and warm inside. I was fading fast, so I set the tumbler down and fell gently onto my side and sunk into those blessedly soft couch cushions. By the time my eyelids were drooping, I was so far gone that I almost didn't hear the loud creak of the wood floors from across the room.

"Stefan?" I gasped, springing back into the position I had taken when I first sat down.

"Damon, actually," Damon spoke, looking unhappy that I had mistaken him for Stefan.

When he stepped into the light, though, and saw my condition, his sulking expression dropped, and his eyes roved over my pale face, down to the sheet, and then to the nearly-empty tumbler on the table.

"Nightmare?" He concluded, and I nodded sagely.

Neither of us knew what to say, so we both looked towards the fireplace, which still had no fire. Noticing how cold I was, Damon started on the fire while I watched. When the tiniest flames began to pop up around the logs, Damon walked over and joined me on the couch.

"It'll be warmer in a minute," He promised lamely.

"Okay."

When Damon's eyes fell onto the sheet, I unconsciously tightened my smile into a grimace. I didn't want him to ask about it.

"Why the sheet? You know, I have clothes upstairs you could've borrowed," He joked lightly.

I shrugged and tightened it around myself.

"Here, give me the sheet, and I'll get you one of my shirts," Damon conceded, reaching for the sheet.

Unconsciously, I jumped up just as Damon's fingers grazed the material, surprising us both. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Give it," He ordered sternly, standing up.

I would've done anything not to see the sight of blood all over me again. It brought back too many memories of that night, and I had just calmed myself down.

"It has blood on it," I argued weakly, looking for any excuse for him to drop it.

"I told you-blood doesn't bother me," He responded, making another grab for the sheet.

Much to Damon's chagrin, I plopped down onto the couch, narrowly missing his grip. Sighing, he sat down beside me and waited for an explanation. I blew out a trembling breath before slowly opening up the sheet, unashamed at my nakedness.

"Remind you of anything?" I asked.

His eyes first fell to the splattered red decorating my legs and thighs before trailing up my body to my gaze again.

"Oh," He sighed.

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," I answered again, biting my lip and looking out into space.

Sensing my doubt, Damon scooted over until our hips to our legs were touching. Taking my hands in his, he repeated,

"I will _never_ let that happen again. I promise."

As he said this, his eyes were boring into mine with such intensity that I thought he might be compelling me for a moment. My fingers fluttered to my chest where the necklace that Stefan had given to me was still resting. Even though I was gone, Stefan was still protecting me...in some way. Seeing my fingers tightening around my necklace, Damon's face pinched infinitely.

"He's not coming back," Damon vowed.

I didn't know if he had said that for his or my benefit.

"I know."

After quietly watching the fire for a few moments, Damon rubbed his hands on his knees before standing up. With a wicked smile, he lent his hand to me with the palm up.

"What?" I asked with a small smile, putting my hand in his and allowing him to pull me up off the couch.

"I think I owe you a bath."


	26. Chapter 26

Stefan POV:

It'd been weeks since I'd last heard from Damon. There was no need to return to Mystic Falls because I knew Damon was strong enough to protect her. And right now, I was her only threat. After what I'd seen, I thought it would be best to lay low, preferentially far away from human beings. Far away from human blood. Slowly, I was getting my bloodlust under control, but even if I'd spent a century perfecting my self-restraint, there was absolutely no way I'd ever return home of my own accord. _To her_. After nearly killing her, I concluded that happiness and love just wasn't included in the hand I had been dealt. I was immortal, and I was going to have to be alone for all of it.

At night, when I was laying alone on the painful stones of an abandoned mausoleum, all I could think about was Elena. The love of my life. My soul mate, or so I thought. If I really loved her, why couldn't I stop? Why did I hurt her? Clearly, I was not good enough to have her if I couldn't control myself. If I was willing to put my selfish need to be near her and hear her voice and receive her love above her safety, I did not truly love her. When I closed my eyes, I pictured her in my mind, and the picture was crystal-clear as if I had just seen her that day. I was glad Damon was not with me, or else he would have definitely made fun of my tears that fell when I wondered if she was okay and if she felt lonely at night, like me. It didn't feel right to be away from her. I didn't even feel tethered to earth anymore. Like I could've just floated away at any moment into nothingness.

Sometimes, thinking about Elena would be too painful, so I'd turn my mind to the other problem at hand. The girl I'd seen that looked just like Elena. I remembered it all so clearly-I was living in a secluded cabin in the center of the woods and decided to test my control by entering the nearby town. At first, it was nearly impossible to ignore the thump, thump, thump of their arteries. It was so loud that it seemed like they were being offered up to me. _Please, try me,_ they'd said. _Just a taste_. In order to keep suspicion off me, I ordered a coffee and sat outside, facing the small, bustling square. That's when I saw her.

I knew it was her just like I knew my own name. It was all the same-the long, dark hair hanging down her back, the slightness of her frame, the gait of her walk. At first, I was too surprised to do anything. I was glued to my chair as those tantalizing curls bounced down the street and into the local perfume shop. When she had entered with the door safely shut behind her, I inhaled greatly and took off. The sight spooked me so much that I didn't stop at my cabin to grab anything. I just ran and ran until I was across a river and over state lines. Eventually, I collapsed in a cemetery. Ever since, I'd been hoarding my seclusion and trying to stay out of sight.

Seeing non-Elena walking around should have been the greatest concern on my mind, but it wasn't. When I had called Damon, I wasn't that surprised to hear Elena on the other side with him. It only made sense since he was supposed to be protecting her. What blind-sighted me, however, was what she said.

 _"I need a shower anyways. Feel free to join me."_

It took me a moment to realize that indeed it was Elena who said that. Regretfully, she'd never been that confident when we'd been together. It was the tone of how she said it, too, that was unmistakable in her intentions. She'd wanted Damon in the shower. _With her_. And what did she mean by 'anyways'? What had they been doing when I called? I was still reeling from Elena's unexpected come-on when Damon finally realized he was on the phone. Our conversation was brief, thankfully, and I didn't think he knew I was suspicious about him and Elena, which was good. Of course, I didn't want Elena with anyone else but me, especially not my brother. I knew Damon would never hurt her, which was more than I could say for myself, but I still worried about his strange obsession with Katherine, our mutual first love, even after all these years. No matter what, Damon was still the impulsive, determined vampire that I always knew, and a human death toll wouldn't bother him if he was successful. Hopefully, Elena wouldn't get caught in the cross-fires of what he wanted.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard a small snap of a twig outside the mausoleum. There was no way anyone could find me out here, though...Still, I shrank back against the shadows and held my breath as the solemn and sudden clopping of heels came closer and closer. Even as the figure entered into the doorway, I didn't move. We both stilled our bodies and waited for the other to give themselves away. There was no way that somebody could see me in here, unless they were not a human.

Suddenly, a lighter flickered on and lowered to either sides of the doorway, illuminating long-forgotten candles. As the light unmasked me and my visitor, my breath caught in my chest. _No! It couldn't be_. Without thinking, I wiped any stray tears from my cheeks in shock and rubbed my face, hoping this was all a bad dream.

"Awww. Crying because you miss your girlfriend?" She mewled.

It was her. After all these years. Miraculously, she was alive. Well, not technically alive, but she wasn't a pile of ash like I'd expected her to be. I didn't know how I hadn't recognized her sooner, in the square. She looked exactly the same as the day Damon and I had both died for her at the hand of our father. Those cheekbones were just as rosy, the hair was just as wind-swept, and the beauty was just as striking as before. Now, standing in the entrance of my hideaway, I could not deny her existence anymore. My sire. My lover. My nightmare. _Katherine._


	27. Chapter 27

Elena POV:

"No! There's no way I believe that," I laughed raucously, causing the sudsy bath water to splash around me and Damon's currently reclining figures.

Gracefully, Damon's finger tucked a piece of damp hair back into my messy updo and then lightly grazed his finger down my neck, making me sigh involuntarily.

"Oh, do believe it. Now, let me tell you about a certain princess that liked handcuffs," He drawled into my ear.

Again, I giggled at the absurdity of his ridiculous accounts of successfully seducing royalty throughout the years. When he whispered her name in my ear, I burst out laughing, unintentionally slapping the water, causing it to drench my neck and the underside of my chin.

"Ew! She's an old lady, Damon! That's disgusting!"

"She wasn't an old lady at the time. And she came onto me," He claimed proudly, running his hands up and down my arms to keep the unsubmerged parts of me warm.

"That's still weird. Whenever I see her, she looks like some crinkly, smiling grandma," I giggled and lolled my head on Damon's shoulder, feeling utterly relaxed and cared for.

We had been carrying on like this in the bath for hours, just talking. Our flow was so natural that it was like we'd known each other for years. I couldn't tell if this were because we were really that connected or if Damon was just a really good conversationalist.

"I put that smile there," He suggested lewdly, tonguing my ear, which caused me to wiggle in his all-encompassing hold.

It was futile, but it still tickled.

"Hey! Stop that!" I yelped and scrambled to escape his embrace.

Thankfully, he let up, which is when I decided to rise and precariously exit the wide expanse of porcelain. I could feel Damon's eyes devouring me from behind as I toweled off quickly and then dropped the used cloth behind me before walking into the bedroom. Waiting for Damon, I reclined on the bed and luxuriated in the feel of his sinfully silky sheets. When I heard the unmistakable sound of a large body emerging from the water and the drain gurgling, I smiled to myself smugly. Ever since Damon had found me downstairs on the night of my nightmare, we had been taking baths together nearly everyday. At least, we did it with abundant frequency. I found it relaxing and fun since I would usually never take baths on my own. It seemed like it was our _thing_ now.

Almost like a couple, we were starting to develop a sort of routine. I'd go to school, finish my homework with unnatural fervor (because I knew I'd see Damon when I was done), and then race over to the Salvatore Boardinghouse for my bath and then our expected but never boring love-making sessions. Not that I'd ever call it a love-making session aloud. Damon would never relent in his teasing of me if I let it slip. Thankfully, it had been at least a week and a half since our first bath together, so I wasn't on my period anymore. Damon was pretty glum about it since he said it was his "free lunch", which I did not find amusing. Although I could not deny that period sex was entertaining and certainly satisfying, it was still a bit of a taboo for me, so I was relieved when it was over. Until next month, Damon reminded me, anyways.

"My, my. Look at what we have here," I heard above me.

I smiled wanly and kept my eyes closed.

"What do we have here?" I asked innocently.

I felt the mattress shift, signaling that Damon was coming to join me.

"Someone in desperate need of an earth-shattering orgasm," He whispered and ducked down to kiss my lips once, twice, and then racked his teeth down my neck.

"Mmmhmmm," I moaned in agreement.

Before being asked, I rolled onto my front and spread my legs dutifully. I shivered in anticipation as one finger was trailed down my naked back teasingly to settle between my thighs. Unable to help myself, I squirmed, attempting to back up into him to increase the pressure, but one hand held my hip, preventing me from any jostling movements.

"Shhh. I'll take care of you," He promised with a hint of smugness.

Growling in annoyance, I buried my face in the comforter and waited. Unlike any of the nights before, however, I felt Damon pause before burying himself in me. Without looking behind me, I could tell that he was thinking, and before I could ask him, he was leaning over me to reach into his bedside drawer. Finally, he settled back between my legs and pushed forward, but what I felt caused me to yelp and jump forward.

"Easy, Elena. You'll like this," He assured me easily, but I wasn't so sure.

Again, I moved to crawl forward and away, but his hand effortlessly held me in place.

"What _is_ that?" I yelped again as the foreign object was brushed against my swollen flesh again.

"Does it matter? You'll like it, I promise," He repeated impatiently.

I turned around to look at him incredulously.

"Yes, Damon! It does matter what you stick into me! You can't just go putting anything in there, for fuck's sake!" I barked, suddenly desperate to go home.

I was uncomfortable and worried about Damon's predilections when it came to sex. Of course, I knew the basics, and I was curious, but his technique of just jumping in with no explanation was too fast and reckless for me. He had probably forgotten that I had almost no experience in exploring, unlike his many other partners.

Sensing my growing temper, he covered my body with his, perfectly aligning my back with his front. I grumpily avoided his gaze and glared at the wall in front of me while he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry, baby," Damon apologized softly and kissed the spot behind my ear, causing me to shimmy underneath him.

Again, I ignored him, even though my body was all fired up and ready to go. It begged me to give in, knowing an orgasm or two would be coming my way soon enough. Eventually, I sighed heavily and turned to look at his glowing eyes.

"What is it?" I asked in trepidation.

His eyes lit up at my admission, and he quickly withdrew the item from between us and presented it before me proudly. Immediately, my mouth went dry with fear. He wanted to put that _inside_ me? I stared at it for some time, trying to figure out exactly what it was. All I knew was that it was big, shiny...and pink.

"It's a vibrator...amongst other things," He murmured, placing it in my hand.

So, this was a sex toy. Well, I'd never dabbled with this kind of thing before. Not with Matt and definitely not with Stefan. For some reason, I felt disappointed that he wanted to use this. Was the sex not enough just the way it was? Why did it have to be more than just our bodies? A sudden, disturbing thought occurred to me.

"This isn't Caroline's, is it?" I accused meanly.

Much to my dismay, Damon burst out laughing at my accusation. Seeing just how unfunny I thought the situation was, his smile vanished. It wasn't too much of a leap, in my opinion, since I knew how many of these things she had casually shown off to me and Bonnie.

"No. Of course not. It's yours," He told me kindly, like I was getting some kind of gift.

"Well, I don't want it," I refused with venom in my voice.

Unfortunately, Damon wouldn't drop it.

"Aw, why not?" He teased playfully, sliding his hands down my sides suggestively.

"Because I don't!" I insisted, slapping his hands off me.

We fell into an awkward silence for a moment while Damon's hands sat beside me while his upper body continued to rest on my back. We were both naked but otherwise not moving. While we both laid there in a tension-filled silence, I felt the need to speak, but I didn't know what to say. Was this going to be a sexual impasse for us?

"Why can't you just use your dick?" I blurted out, much to my immediate mortification.

As much as I had wanted to be polite, what I'd said was exactly my sentiments, loud and clear. At least I didn't beat around the bush. To answer my question, Damon proceeded to nudge the vibrator against my opening and cranked it to full power, causing me to jump in surprise and pleasure. I couldn't lie-it felt good, but I was in such a strange mood. I almost wanted to fight with Damon. Ultimately, my embarrassment over being so inexperienced compared to Damon had soured my mood for the evening. Pulling the vibrator away, I shivered in displeasure beneath Damon, who was stroking my hair gently. He leaned down until his entire front was pressed my plush backside.

"Can my dick do that?" He asked seductively; however, I felt even more enraged as his voice morphed into one of a patronizing quality.

It was stupid, but I felt that he was making fun of me, so I kicked backwards and bucked against him in an attempt to escape his hold. Realizing he'd lost this fight, Damon stood back up and sighed, nonchalantly tossing the vibrator into his side drawer. As I went to slide off the bed, Damon made a move to hitch my legs around his waist, but again, I resisted. With a confused look, he unhanded my naked legs and let me scramble around the room like a tornado, dressing and huffing with anger.

"You're leaving?" He laughed in disbelief.

His laughing did not help. At all.

"Yes, Damon, I'm leaving," I hissed and bolted for the door.

At the last minute, I was intercepted by Damon, who was standing between me and my sweet get-away. Impatiently, I shoved at him, but it was futile considering his supernatural strength. It was like forcing a mountain to move.

"What's wrong? Really?" He dared to ask and cupped my face, tilting my growing scowl up towards his face.

Like a puppy being held by the scruff of its neck, I struggled wildly, fully knowing I was going nowhere. Damon let me go with a dismayed expression and stepped to the side, allowing me to finally flee his den of inequity. A den that had ultimately tempted me and eventually sent me away in tears.


	28. Chapter 28

Elena POV:

I couldn't tell exactly why I was crying. My embarrassment of being so inexperienced mottled unpleasantly with my short-lived fear of the unknown in terms of sex. Why couldn't it be so easy between us, like it was between me and Stefan? Stefan never pushed me into something different. He was a gentleman, and he never once made me uncomfortable, with the exception of that one horrible night. Sighing, I flopped down onto my bed and roved my eyes over the nearly-imperceptible indents in my ceiling. I couldn't help but smile softly at the memory of when my dad and I painted this room together. I had gotten paint all over the place, but he never got angry about it. In fact, he loved it, and he even got messy with me. _Stop_ , I told myself. I didn't want to think about that right now.

After stripping off my hastily thrown on clothes (my shirt was backwards, and I was missing one sock), I took a scalding hot shower. The water was too hot and burnt my skin, but it felt good to just feel visceral once in a while. I liked whenever something simple could bring me back to the present and gently beckon me out of my abyss of melancholy thoughts. Walking out into my room, I immediately startled because Damon was sitting on my bed. His head rose, which is when I saw his hopeless and pained expression. Unable to help myself, I came over and sat next to him on the bed. I noted with a smile that we were directly in front of my mirror. I studied us for a moment, wondering if we looked like a couple or not. Eventually, my eyes met Damon's in the mirror, and we both turned to face each other.

"I'm sorry," Damon breathed heavily, taking my hands in his.

I looked down at our joined hands dumbly. What? I was not expecting an apology, especially so soon. I had expected Damon and I to nurse our wounded prides until one of us broke, preferably before the week was over. When my eyes looked up and met his, I felt that familiar sensation of somebody opening up a trap-door beneath me. My stomach plummeted, and my heart leapt erratically. With horror, I realized that there was virtually nothing that I wouldn't do for this man. He was kind. He was honest. He was wounded, but at least he was trying.

"Why?" I whispered with confusion.

It was hard to be mad at him when I was directly facing him and watching the pain contort his usually divine facile features. No matter what had happened, I had already forgiven him, and that worried me.

"I went too fast. I'm sorry. I know I should have asked, it's just-," He paused, looking down at our hands as if to imprint the image in his brain forever.

"It's just, what?" I urged, needing to know with my entire being what was on the tip of his tongue.

"It's just that sometimes I get so excited that I'm with you. With you intimately. Sometimes, I still can't believe that you would be with me, even in just the physical sense. I guess I get too eager because...I'm waiting for you to change your mind about me," He confessed with a heavy sigh.

"Damon...," I gasped delicately, but my dry mouth prevented me from continuing.

His explanation stunned me into silence. Is that really what he thought of himself? What he thought of me? That I would just abandon him after all we'd been through? I shook my head at the thought. Assuming that my shaking head had signaled my disappointment in him, Damon gently extracted himself from me and calmly walked over the window. He peered down into the darkness and then went to lift his leg to the pane. This action finally brought me out of my paralysis.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I yelped, thinking we'd just had a breakthrough in our relationship.

Damon turned and gave me a strange look.

"I thought you wanted me to leave...," He began sadly.

"No, no, no. I want you to stay. More than stay, actually. Come back. Please," I pleaded and patted the recently vacated spot next to me on the bed. Slowly, Damon strolled over and sat down, looking at me for guidance.

"Damon, listen. I'm sorry. I overreacted because I'm...inexperienced, but-,"

"You think I care about your experience? I couldn't care less. No matter what we do, it's all I could've dreamed of and more," Damon interrupted suddenly.

"Okay, but-," I tried again.

"No 'buts'. Elena Gilbert," He announced, gathering my hands in his again, "I want you for who you are. Even if you were the worst sexual partner in the world, I would still take you as you were."

Unconsciously, tears welled up in my eyes.

"That's sweet," I sighed dreamily, which made us both laugh.

Sluggishly, I fell into Damon's arms, fitting his form perfecting as if I was always meant to be there. One of his hands began to stroke my wet hair and inspected each strand as if it were recovered from the most coveted of treasure chests.

"Why pink?" I inquired abruptly.

It had been bugging me ever since he had pulled it out of that side drawer.

"What?"

"Why is my vibrator pink? Did you just assume I liked pink?" I ventured.

My question had confounded Damon, as he was lost in thought for a few moments.

"Uh...I don't know. Why? Did you want another color?" He teased, squeezing me briefly.

My face flooded with color, but I reminded myself not to be embarrassed. Not with Damon. He had seen practically everything at this point.

"I like pink. Do you think they make them in neon colors, though?" I wondered aloud.

"Baby, I'll get you every color of the rainbow if that's what you want," He laughed with such untainted glee that I found myself giggling along with him.

Gradually, Damon's hands wandered down, down, down, until they were loosening the knot in my towel. I laid back and watched with amusement.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked coyly, already knowing what he wanted.

"Make up sex is my favorite," He replied with a bone-melting smirk.

"How presumptuous of you!" I gasped indignantly, although my hips were already beginning to oscillate against his in a frenzy.

Without further ado, my towel was pulled off and discarded. Patiently, I laid on the bed, stretching out my body to full capacity as Damon looked down at me with hungry eyes. His lips briefly touched my forehead, then my lips, then my chin. His gaze held mine as his long, slippery tongue made a path from my collarbone to my ribcage to my abdomen. I held my breath in anticipation. When my phone broke the hypnotic silence of the room, I reflexively jumped up to retrieve it.

"Let it ring," Damon whined, but I continued to grasp his arms and pull away until he released me.

"It could be Caroline. It'll only take a minute," I promised.

Caroline had been calling every hour or so to either complain about something, gossip, or ask my opinion on a color palate. You see, Caroline was spear-heading a committee to decorate the cafeteria for Founder's Day. Ever since the night she'd caught me and Damon in the closet, she'd been blessedly quiet about the entire affair, which I had desperately needed. She could tell that I wouldn't talk about, so she let it go in a decidedly un-Caroline like manner. As I grabbed my phone from my vanity, I noticed that it was a new number, which made me pause. I looked back at Damon uncertainly and then answered the phone.

"Hello?" I ventured after what seemed like an eternity of silence from the other end.

"Elena, it's Stefan."


	29. Chapter 29

Stefan POV:

Now, standing in the entrance of my hideaway, I could not deny her existence anymore. My sire. My lover. My nightmare. _Katherine_.

"You should take a picture. It lasts longer," She suggested in a perky voice before striding over to the marble bench that I was still laying on.

Her longer fingers trailed down my pant leg and gently landed on my ankle, squeezing softly. Unable to help myself, I drew my legs up quickly, away from her, which she apparently did not like.

"No, no, no. This isn't real. It can't be. I watched them take you away," I rambled as I began to slowly realize that this wasn't just a bad dream.

"Yes, I was taken away, but that doesn't mean I was burned in that tomb," Katherine explained simply, reaching out to stroke my tear-stained cheek.

I slapped it away and scrambled further back on the bench to avoid her. At this, she pouted cutely and crossed her arms in disapproval.

"Really, Stefan? That's how you're going to treat me? Your sire? After all these years?"

Gaping, I was unable to move as Katherine crept closer and closer to me. Those large, brown eyes were hypnotic and drew me in like a leaf amidst a typhoon. I was helpless against her seduction. Lightly, her thumbs caressed my cheeks as her head cocked to the side, appraising me. I closed my eyes in dismay as her lips gently touched mine. When she pulled away, I let out an audible sigh of relief. Pushing her away roughly, I strode over to the other side of the mausoleum.

"If you're here, then that means Damon and I died in vain," I accused in a shaky voice.

After all this time, our narrative still affected me so deeply. This was my first love, a warped and disturbing love. It was a love that I shared with my brother, whom I adored since I was a tot. Unperturbed by my growing hatred, Katherine let out a breathy moan and laid down on the marble bench while simultaneously striking a sexy pose. Her perfectly groomed curls rested against the rosy pink of her cheeks as her delicate, little hand propped up her head. She swung her leg off the bench a couple times to extenuate her form in an effort to entice me with her feminine wiles. Still, I resisted.

"Okay, you died in vain, but we're all still here! In fact, I think we're due for a family reunion, don't you think?" She coyly inquired and giggled.

"What are you doing here? Why come after me?" I questioned desperately.

Why hadn't she gone to Damon? God knows he wanted her much more than I did. Sitting up, Katherine brushed her curls over her slender shoulder and leaned forward, flashing a generous amount of cleavage.

"I don't know. Nostalgia. Boredom. Etc," She drawled as she stood and sauntered over to me with swinging hips.

When I felt her hand sliding down my chest, I grabbed her and threw her savagely across the mausoleum. Although the marble cracked on impact, she looked like she just exited the red carpet. Shaking off the dust, she clucked her tongue at me and pinned me with a furious gaze.

"Little boys that play with fire will get burnt," She hissed before launching herself at me.

Her speed and velocity managed to rocket us through the side of the mausoleum. Debris and rocks fell around us, but we were too busy wrestling like Roman Olympians to notice. Despite my strength, I was no match for Katherine, who was single-handedly holding me down on my back. I closed my eyes in horror as her hand intrepidly trailed down my chest to my pants, already knowing their destination. Groping me crudely through my pants, Katherine hissed,

"You're mine. I created you. Don't forget that."

"What do you want?" I groaned loudly.

Her hold on my pants was still firm, and it was causing me to grow, which I did not want. I was ashamed that she still had that kind of power over my body. After all, she was the one to show me what our bodies could do.

"I told you-a family reunion," She repeated impatiently, releasing the bulge in my pants.

My relief was short-lived, however, because her hand soon dove into my pants without warning and enclosed my member in a solid grip. In short, I wasn't going anywhere.

"Please, no," I muttered, already knowing it was futile.

When Katherine wanted something, she got it, no matter how many innocent men had to die on the way there. Ignoring my protests, she began to stroke me surely all the while looking down at me with a contented smile. I bared my fangs at her, but that only served to widen her sly grin.

"I thought you were on the dark side now, my love," She whispered in my ear and planted open-mouthed kisses down my chin and neck.

Much to my absolute horror, the moment her canines clamped down on my shoulder and pierced through my shirt and flesh, I came in my pants with a hoarse shout. In a very uncharacteristic fashion, Katherine took mercy on me and stroked me for the remainder of my orgasm. Still panting, I managed to ask,

"The dark side? What do you mean?"

Anyone could have recognized the absurdity of the situation. Katherine was laying on top of me, effectively immobilizing me, with her hand down my pants, and I was underneath her, sweating and breathless and recovering from my profound release. Katherine took a minute to answer. She traded the insults and words for the silence and stillness of the night. Blackness surrounded us like a sea, and our finely tuned senses picked up the sound of every living organism for miles. It was begrudgingly peaceful.

"Mmmmm. This is nice. Remember when we'd play outside all night at your manor? We'd lay on our backs and look up at the stars. I wanted you then but you were so innocent that you would not take me without a bed," She reminisced in a dreamy tone.

"Answer my question," I commanded angrily.

I'd had enough of her little games.

"Let me tell you a story, Stefan. Girl meets boy. She falls in love and has to leave him but gives him the best gift that anyone could ever give: immortality. However, he relishes his forever alone, completely forgetting about the one who gave him this gift. He even has the nerve to fall in love with another woman. The girl can't help watching the boy over the years because she loves him so, so dearly. Imagine her surprise when she stumbles upon a violent scene between the boy and his new love. Instead of the white knight that everyone has been expecting, the boy unleashes his inner animal and makes love to her like a savage, hurting her in the process."

I stilled beneath her as I listened to her story. Oh, God. This couldn't get any worse. She'd seen _everything_. Taking my silence as encouragement, Katherine continued.

"He struggles to suppress what he has become. The boy cheapens his gift by denying who he truly is-."

"No, this isn't me. I have control. I have-," I argued weakly.

"No, Stefan. You have fear. You have shame. But, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did nothing wrong!" She countered.

I simply shook my head persistently, feeling tears gather in the back of my throat.

"Run away with me, Stefan. It'll just be me and you. You won't have to deny your true nature anymore," She whispered sweetly, wiggling herself on top of me.

"No! That isn't me, and I'd rather go to hell than anywhere with you," I insisted, opening my eyes and looking up into hers.

Not used to being rejected, Katherine's face contorted in fury and denial. In seconds, she was standing above me with a vengeful look in her eye.

"Still holding out for Elena? Well, I can't have any competition, can I? Like I always say, if you can't beat them, kill them," She spat out venomously and sped away into the night.

This was bad. Catastrophic even. Because of my refusal, Elena's life was in danger. Quickly, I pulled out my cellphone and shakily dialed a number that I had refused to ever call again. Until now.

"Elena, it's Stefan."


	30. Chapter 30

Elena POV:

"Hello?" I ventured after what seemed like an eternity of silence from the other end.

"Elena, it's Stefan."

All and any breath inside me at that moment flew out like it was being vacuumed into the air. I could've laughed at how unexpected it was to hear from him. Especially with his own voice instead of just a message from someone else.

"Stefan?" I choked out joyfully.

It was unbelievable how happy I could become from hearing his voice alone. After being left in the dark for so long, I was finally talking with him again! Maybe he would come home. Unbeknownst to me, tears started falling down my face as I cradled the phone against my ear with one hand while the other rested firmly on my chest, where I could hear my heartbeat stuttering in excitement. There was so much to be said. Suddenly, I couldn't bear the distance between us. It seemed like years, but we'd really only been apart for several weeks. I would have given anything to magically transport him back into my room. A room that Damon was also standing in...

With a guilty smile, I gestured to the phone and rushed out into the hallway. Even though I had wanted privacy to talk to Stefan, I remembered that Damon would be able to hear us no matter what. Still, out of instinct, I closed the door soundly and leaned against the wall.

"I can't believe it," I sighed dreamily.

"Elena-,"

"Stefan, I missed you so much, and I don't believe what Damon said. I know you'd never hurt me," I babbled wildly as I was filled with overwhelming love and pity for him.

"Oh, Elena," He exhaled dismally.

His tone made even more tears escape. He sounded like he hadn't believed what I'd said about him attacking me.

"I miss you so much," I confessed, unable to stop myself.

"I love you. I still love you," I continued with a runny nose.

Stefan was silent for a moment, which made my chest tighten painfully. Had something happened? Did he not feel the same anymore?

"Stefan?"

"I know I have no right to ask...," He trailed off in a depressed tone.

Since he was my true love, I felt like I had to comfort him. Whatever he needed I would provide. Because I loved him so much. Because that's what soul mates did for each other.

"Ask what?"

"Are you...did you and Damon...sleep together?" Stefan finally asked in a soft voice.

 _Fuck_. I wasn't even thinking after I'd heard this. All I knew was that Stefan was in pain and needed to be comforted. I would've said whatever he had wanted to hear in order to make him feel better because he sounded so upset. More upset than I'd ever heard before.

"No," I murmured half-heartedly.

"No?" He confirmed with his tone full of hope.

"No! Of course not!" I repeated, this time a lot more forcefully.

"I was just worried-,"

"Oh, my God, Stefan! I would _never_ do that. Damon is...a monster! He's unredeemable. I would never do that. Especially with Damon. I...hate him!"

Stefan's relieved breath from the other end of the phone revealed just how worried he was that I had slept with Damon. Clearly, me and Damon sleeping together was his biggest nightmare. After hearing his hope and joy that I had been loyal to him, my stomach started to roll like a rogue tide. I felt sick, like I would keel over at any moment and throw up my insides all over the hall carpet. Instantly, I was regretting the lie because it was actually the furthest thing from the truth. Truthfully, Damon was kind. He was so human, even if he didn't want to admit it. He took care of me. In fact, I didn't hate him. At all! I actually...really liked him, which scared me. It was so wrong.

"Look, I'm coming home. I'm so sorry I took off, but I needed...time. I'll be home soon. Then we can be together," He promised warmly.

"Great," I managed to chirp, but I was actually grimacing.

"I can't wait to see you again. I love you," Stefan told me, sounding unbearably relieved.

"Love you, too," I replied cheerfully and hung up.

I slid down the wall and let my finger sink into the carpet. My stomach was clenching painfully, and I felt the need to cry, but not with happiness. I'd made a mess. A mess that would not be easy to clean up. I never wanted to hurt anybody. My attention was caught by the sound of my bedroom window slamming shut. With horror, I realized that Damon had been in my room for the entire phone call and had likely heard everything. I leapt to my feet and burst into my room, but no one was there.

"Fuck," I whispered as dread seeped into my limbs and made my body feel unbearably heavy.

Somehow, the silence hurt more than actual words. That night, something had died, and it was all my fault.


	31. Chapter 31

Elena POV:

I felt like I had to throw up for the remainder of the night. Yet, I could not, even though I tried multiple times. Every fifteen or so minutes, I'd feel the familiar tickling sensation in my throat that signaled the impending sickness, but every time that I positioned myself over the toilet, I would suddenly feel fine. It was absolute torture. _A torture that I deserved_ , I reminded myself. No matter what I did from here on out, I would hurt someone. I never signed up to hurt anyone, yet, here I was with two hearts in my hand. Either hand could close easily, extinguishing whatever struggled to survive there. I knew I was making myself sick with all this over-thinking, but I couldn't stop. All I wanted to do was talk to Damon. I knew that if I talked to him, I would feel better. However, I could not bring myself to leave my room. The guilt was eating me alive. I was so ashamed and embarrassed that he had obviously heard what I'd said to Stefan. No matter what I could say, I could never take back that conversation, which I so desperately wanted to. Even though the truth was stranger than fiction, I cared about Damon. A lot. Spending all this time together had changed me, even if we had only been together for a couple weeks. Still, he took care of me. He made me feel loved.

Loved? Where did that thought come from? There was no way that I could ever love Damon. And yet...No, it was wrong! So, so wrong! It would have to be an alternative universe in which I chose Damon over Stefan. Damon and I together was no reality. It was a fantasy. The obstacles alone were overwhelming. My friends hated him. He was selfish and insecure and dangerous. Damon didn't need me. He needed therapy.

"Shit," I whispered as my call went straight to Damon's voicemail.

Ever since he'd left, I went into a frenzy over calling Damon's phone. He'd never picked up, but I was undeterred. He might've been mad, but I was unhinged, and insanity always trumps anger. Finally deciding I'd had enough, I grabbed my hoodie and cellphone and quietly sneaked out of the house. The entire neighborhood was asleep, so I had a lot of quiet to immerse myself in while heading over to the boarding house. The whole way there, I was editing and re-editing what I would say when I got there. Eventually, I was on his steps, and I still had no words of explanation, only 'I'm sorry.'

Pushing the door open, I entered and immediately noticed Damon standing in front of a steady flame in the fireplace. In one hand, he was holding an entire bottle of bourbon, and in the other, he was clenching his phone (like he'd been listening to my disregarded voicemails). His shoulders were tensed while his head was bowed forward as if in prayer. I knew he'd sensed my entrance from the way his hands and shoulders twitched minutely. Obviously, he was unhappy. And had been drinking, which did not mean good things for me.

"Damon-," I began quietly.

Hearing me speak, he whirled around, and I nearly ran out the house from the expression on his face. He was fully vamped-out, and his eyes were burning with absolute hatred. Nobody had ever looked at me like that. _Fuck, this was really bad_ , I realized. I went to open my mouth, but the hand clutching the cellphone flew up and signaled me to be quiet. My mouth fell shut, and my shoulders slumped in despair. I had tears nearly tipping out of my lids, but I held them in because this was not about me.

"So, is that how you really feel about me? You hate me?" He ventured with a dark chuckle.

"No! I was just saying that!" I argued weakly, knowing this fight was going to be all uphill for me.

I was so confused that there was no way I could explain to Damon what I felt because I didn't even know what I felt or why I did what I did.

"You're telling me that it was all an act for my baby brother, huh? You're an excellent actress, then, Elena. The way you responded to every touch, every kiss. How loud you'd scream when I fucked you from behind. You even managed to fake those full-body tremors after I made you come so hard that you'd gush all over my cock!" He laughed loudly.

Despite the fact that I deserved all this, I flinched at his tone. Tears fell as I buried my face in my hands. Much to my surprise, my face was revealed forcefully when Damon's hands tore my hands from my face. I whimpered when I saw how close his face was to mine. His nose gently brushed against mine, and I fought to pull away, but Damon just pulled me closer in a rough manner. No doubt there would be bruises on my wrist from his unnaturally robust grip. My crying increased out of fear and because I was so embarrassed at the truthfulness of his comments. He was absolutely right, except that it was all backwards.

"I never faked anything," I managed to insist through my sobs.

Again, I wildly struggled in his grip in order to escape, but his grip held me against him, nearly throttling me so hard that my head almost fell off. Not that I thought he'd really hurt me, but he was almost getting to that point where it didn't matter who his next victim was.

"Please," I pleaded in a high voice, pulling away.

Damon's hold crushed me against his chest unapologetically, and his face stared down onto mine, which was glistening from the tears endlessly running down my chin. He briefly closed his eyes and exhaled, his warm and bourbon-soured breath brushing over my face like a lover's caress. When his eyes opened, his expression was softer, almost one of regret. He looked pained, and nearly all the muscles in his body were tensed. I could feel how on edge his body was since I was pressed up against his entire figure.

"Maybe I should take you against your will. That's how you like it, right?" He taunted, his evil sneer returning to his angelic features.

"No," I sobbed, closing my eyes.

"Maybe I'll rape you like Stefan did, and then you'll fall in love with me, too," He whispered against my trembling mouth.

Finally, his grasp released me, and tore out of the boardinghouse like the devil himself was on my tail.


	32. Chapter 32

Damon POV:

Like a drug starved addict, I just couldn't stay away from her. I was disgusted by my behavior and what I'd said, but she really did deserve it. A part of me loathed her and vowed to never see her again. However, a bigger part of me was devastated by what she'd said. No matter how hard I worked, it would always be Stefan. It was futile for me. She'd never chose me, no matter how unfair it was. Despite everything, I hadn't ever hurt her, and Stefan had. Mostly, I had terrorized her so badly tonight because I was so scared to lose her. I was desperate to keep her, and that made me dangerous. I headed over to her house even though every logical thought told me to stay away. I guess I just couldn't stay away from her.

Elena POV:

What Damon had said cut me to the core. I didn't know if I would ever recover from tonight, even though it shouldn't have really mattered, right? It wasn't like he was my boyfriend or really anything important to me. And yet, what happened tonight seemed dire. It felt like I'd lost something very dear to me. Like I'd lost another loved one. Everything seemed like a blur as I barreled into my house and fled into the sanctuary of my room. When I opened the door, I recognized a figure was sitting on my bed due to the light projecting into my darkened room from the hallway. I flipped on the bedroom light, revealing their identity.

Damon POV:

The light momentarily blinded me, which made it all the more surprising when Elena launched herself into my arms and attacked my face with wet, sloppy kisses. We effortlessly fell back onto the bed, and I realized I was responding to her without even knowing it. Grasping at each other desperately, it seemed like we were starved lovers who were connecting for the last time. I wasn't much of a poet, but her kisses did taste like goodbye to me. My fingers were slipping into her soft, welcoming pussy without thought.

Elena POV:

This time was much more wild than any other time. It was rough, but it wasn't anything like what happened with Stefan. I wanted the undiluted passion as much as Damon did. It was a flurry of movements and a chorus of grunts and moans as we rode each other like we were possessed. No words were exchanged. Instead, our bodies said everything, and somehow, it was so much more.

Damon POV:

I knew Elena's body better than anyone else did. Not even Stefan could play this instrument as perfectly as I could. I manipulated the strokes and angles in such a way that I could make her want me more than she wanted anything else in her life. The way I fucked her turned her into a toy that only I could turn on (pun intended). Probably even before she knew, I knew that she was on the verge of orgasm by the way her inner muscles were contracting like writhing coils. Each time she neared completion, I would switch my method and pinpoint a different part of her pleasure center. She was going crazy beneath me. Me and only me could give it to her, and I was withholding.

Elena POV:

All I knew was that I wanted to come. And bad. I needed to. I needed to. Please, please, please. Let me come. I wanna come.

Damon POV:

Just as she was about to reach that point, I pulled out and began jerking myself off with my hand. Her juices made for an excellent lubricant and made the stroking all that more pleasurable. I could've laughed at the indignant look on her face that I'd pulled out and was finishing myself off instead of letting her come. I towered over her like a massive wave.

"You want this dick?" I sneered, taunting her.

"Yes!" She insisted and attempted to pull me back in by tightening her legs around me.

Much to her displeasure, I did not budge.

"Too bad," I choked out before ejaculating all over her exposed stomach.

She stared up at me in disbelief with an open mouth and surprised eyes. Without explaining, I hopped off the bed and redressed, totally ignoring her. By the time I was at her bedroom door, she managed to yell,

"Asshole!"

"Whore!" I answered over my shoulder before slamming the door shut behind me.


	33. Chapter 33

Stefan POV:

It seemed like time was running out at an extremely worrisome rate. Even though I was supernaturally quick, I knew that Katherine was much stronger, older, and therefore, much faster than me. On the way back to Mystic Falls, I tried to fight the onslaught of images of what could be waiting for me there. Elena, mutilated and proudly shown off like a hunter's prize. Elena, dead and helpless in her little, pink bed. Elena, tortured and waiting for my rescue. Just the thought made me increase my pace until the sign for Mystic Falls appeared before me. A considerable weight lifted off my chest, but I still kept myself on task, just in case.

Elena's house was quiet when I arrived. I listened for a moment to assess the situation. However, nothing seemed amiss. I breathed out a sigh of relief when I heard Elena padding around in her bed, likely preparing for bed. Briefly, I struggled with whether or not to go to her, but eventually, my heart won over my head. It was beyond unfair of me to just keep jumping ship without warning and leaving her here with my mess, but I also worried about her safety. In addition, just being back here again, where that horrible night happened, brought back the guilt with crushing intensity.

When I knocked on her door, Jenna greeted me cheerily, totally unaware of what I'd done to her niece. She called up to Elena that she had a visitor, and while we waited for Elena to come, Jenna and I bantered lightly about football and the up-coming Miss Mystic Falls pageant.

"You guys will have so much fun. I remember how excited Miranda was about Elena entering one day," Jenna remarked with a soft smile.

"What?" I balked, totally forgetting about Elena's interest in Miss Mystic Falls.

Had Elena mentioned that to me? Perhaps she didn't, but I had absolutely forgotten about it, which only added onto my guilt. Jenna noticed my abrupt change in mood and asked,

"You are taking her, right? I know you guys might have had some issues, but this is really important to her. Her mom-,"

Just then, Elena appeared at the top of the stairs. I heard her well before Jenna did due to my sensitive hearing, and I whipped my head up in her direction. There she stood, innocent and sweet in her disheveled tank top and rumpled shorts. Clearly, she was not expecting me, but I gave her some slack because there was no way she could have known I would be here so soon. I mean, it had only been one day since I'd called to announce my return.

"Um, Aunt Jenna, can Stefan and I talk in my room?" Elena asked meekly, her hand brushing out a strand of hair and then resting on her chest.

There was no way to describe how much better I felt when I saw that she was still wearing my necklace, even after all this time. It had to mean something, right? She could have easily obtained another source of vervain and inserted it into any piece of jewelry, yet she hadn't. I took that as a good sign. I found myself struggling to gulp due to my nervousness.

"Of course. Just keep the door open and no funny business," Jenna acquiesced easily with a wink (at this, Elena and I both cringed) in our direction before walking off into the kitchen.

Our eyes met, and I melted a little as her cheeks flushed with color. We were both nervous, which was not odd considering what had happened between us. I followed her to her room at a responsible distance, and when she entered and gestured for me to sit on the bed, I waited until she sat before sitting on the other end of the bed. I wanted to give her space. She picked at her fingernails absently and breathed out a heavy sigh.

"Look, I'll be honest with you. When I decided to come home...it was for different reason than you might think," I admitted soberly, glancing at her.

She nodded mutely, which signaled to me to continue.

"Do you remember the first night we...?" I began quietly.

Elena flushed again and nodded in understanding. It was hard for me to continue my narrative because, sitting here on her comforter with her legs crossed and her face glowing due to being scrubbed clean, I could not deny how much I wanted her. But, that wasn't my decision anymore. It was up to Elena whether or not we would be together again.

"And you saw the picture of Katherine in my room?" I reminded her.

She grimaced at the memory but nodded anyways.

"And I told you that we thought she was in the tomb? And how Damon and I had become vampire because we died trying to save her? Well, she was not in the tomb. Is not in the tomb," I corrected quickly.

Elena stared at me blankly with her forehead crinkled in confusion.

"I don't understand," She answered.

I sighed and braced myself on my knees. This would not be easy.

"When I was gone, she found me. And she knew out about you, which made her mad because she still loves me. She told me she was coming here to hurt you," I told her.

I intentionally did not mention that Katherine had planned to kill Elena, or worse, because I did not want to scare her. Not yet. Understanding dawned on Elena, and I watched helplessly as she gradually became more distraught and nervous. Her eyes fell on her door, and her face fell infinitely.

"Will she hurt Jeremy? Or Jenna?" She gasped in horror.

Grimly, I nodded.

"But we don't know what she wants just yet. She might just be playing," I soothed her.

This did not soothe Elena. Her head turned towards me and she snapped,

"My safety is not a game, Stefan. My family's safety is not a game!"

"I know that. That's why I'm going to protect you. I swear I will not rest until I know you are safe. I will always protect you," I promised solemnly.

And it was true. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't do for Elena. Because I loved her and because I owed her everything and then some. With a sorrowful groan, she buried her head in her hands. When she raised her head, she had tears in her eyes but did not let them fall just yet.

"This is horrible," She declared, turning her gaze away from me.

I nodded in agreement. After a moment of awkward silence, I decided that I should leave her to her thoughts. I needed to talk to Damon, anyways, so we could formulate a plan. Somehow, I would lure Damon into helping me. I know he didn't really care about Elena, but I'm sure I could find something that would entice him. Maybe he would finally reunite with Katherine and leave me and Elena alone. Forever. As I opened the door and prepared to exit her bedroom, I heard Elena say,

"I'm glad you're back."

I turned slowly and gave her a wary smile. I was glad to be back, too. If only to see Elena and be near her again. It was so painful being away for only weeks.

"How long will you stay?" She ventured cautiously, trying not to give her vulnerability away.

It hurt to see that Elena was protecting her emotions from me, but I deserved it. I'd hurt her, and I'd left twice instead of trying to help her cope.

"As long as you need me," I replied softly before closing her door gently and heading towards the stairs.

Just as I opened the front door to leave, I heard Elena whisper,

"Always. I'll need you always."


	34. Chapter 34

Damon POV:

 _Goddamn Elena Gilbert_ , I thought to myself as I brooded in front of the dying embers of the fire I had started. I hated her so much. More than I ever hated anything in my life. More than I hated Katherine for faking her death. More than I hated Stefan for making me share the only girl I ever loved. More than I hated my useless and tiresome existence. Did you ever feel like you lived a thousand years? I felt like that. I felt like I'd been alive for multiple centuries instead of just one. I guess it wasn't so strange to be having these thoughts since I _was_ old. Very old. Too old.

"Damon?" I heard softly from the doorway.

My heart plummeted immediately at the sight of him. Not an apparition but a real person, standing in my threshold like it was any other day. All I could think was that I couldn't stand the sight of him. He hurt Elena. How could he say he loved her and then just turn around and hurt her? He almost killed her, for fuck's sake!

"Brother," I returned icily before turning my sight back to the fireplace.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Stefan slowly meander over to the couch and slump into a nearby chair with a heavy sigh. Begrudgingly, I looked up because I felt his eyes on me. Right away, I was drawn into that swirl of sorrow in his pupils. It was never-ending. If there were an award, Stefan would get most cliché vampire of the year.

"Thank you," He whispered before slumping forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

His eyes raised to mine, and his mouth gave me a nervous smile.

"For what?" I asked tonelessly, even though I was pretty surprised at his gratitude.

"For taking care of Elena. I know it wasn't really what you wanted, and I know you're not that fond of each other, but her safety is the most important thing to me," His mouth spewed out quickly, like all these gooey feelings were hitting him all at once.

 _Oh, yeah, I took care of Elena, alright_ , I mused silently. I took care of her on this very carpet. I took care of her in my shower and in the kitchen on the marble counter and in my bed and against the wall. I even took care of her in my car and in the library. There was probably no place left in this place that wasn't christened by us. Well, Stefan's room was left alone by us, but that was probably for the best.

"I didn't have anything else to do," I feigned casually, but it was a total lie.

Being with her was all I wanted to do these days. Even if we were screaming at each other, I just wanted to be near her.

"Well, thanks, again. I'm going to hunt now-oh, wait! We have a serious problem," Stefan suddenly declared, running his hands through his hair nervously.

I sighed dramatically. My brother could be quite the attention-seeker. Always about him. Always wanted the spotlight to be on him. I'm surprised he wasn't on Broadway by now. He sure cried enough to do those sad scenes.

"Katherine. That was who I saw when I was hiding. Actually, she found me. I couldn't believe it, but...Damon, she's really here," He explained with fear and awe.

Even though my heart leapt into my throat in excitement and dread, I shook my head adamantly.

"She's in the tomb. There's no way she could have gotten out," I argued.

I suddenly felt very tired and suffocated in this large room with my brother, talking about our ghost of a relationship. I hated feeling this way. I wanted to sleep or find someone to sink my teeth into and pretend it was Elena. Fuck somebody and pretend it was Elena's legs around my back. Casting an annoyed glance at Stefan once more, I got up and went to walk out of the room, but something bothered me. We seemed to think about it at the same time, which was really creepy.

"She didn't escape-," I began.

"She wasn't ever in there," Stefan finished.

I clenched my teeth in anger at my foolishness, and my heart started pounding frantically because that lunatic bitch was out there and would find Elena eventually, especially if she had followed Stefan back.

"You're sure it was her?" I checked, even though I knew the answer.

At that question, Stefan's cheeks slightly reddened as he nodded. What the fuck? Did they...? On second thought, I didn't want to know.

"I tried to fill Elena in on everything I knew. I left out exactly how much danger she was in, though. I didn't want to scare her," Stefan spoke hesitantly and meekly, as if I were going to be mad at him.

"I think that's for the best," I replied neutrally.

Stefan had been with Elena tonight? This bothered me. More than bothered me. I was infuriated. How could she not have told me? How could he just hop back into a relationship with her when he didn't know if he was in control anymore? These were the two dumbest people I'd ever dealt with, and they deserved each other. Except that it killed me to think of them together. It was so wrong. As Stefan went to walk out of the room, I grabbed his arm lightly to get his attention.

"You saw Elena?" I asked coolly, so as to not draw suspicion to me.

"Yes, but it was very brief. Nothing happened, I promise," Stefan reported sheepishly.

Unbeknownst to me, my lips had curled into a nasty grimace at this information.

"Nothing happened? No funny business?" I blurted out and immediately regretted asking because Stefan's brow furrowed in suspicion.

"No, and why do you care? I thought you didn't like Elena," He accused with his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed.

"We...bonded when you were gone," I admitted carefully.

His forehead added another worry line, so I added quickly,

"She needed a friend."

At this, his expression softened, and he smiled lightly.

"Well, I'm glad you were there for her. I hate to admit it, but...I actually thought you two might have been together or something while I was gone," Stefan laughed and shook his head at the thought.

"Nope. Nothing of the sort," I lied and walked over to the fireplace, turning my back to Stefan.

"I know. She already told me, and of course, I believe her. She would never do anything like that to me," He boasted proudly, like Elena had just won a goddamn cheerleading trophy.

 _You'd be surprised_ , I thought to myself glumly. Finally, Stefan left, and I was still standing in front of the fireplace, watching the fire die slowly, slowly, slowly. To put it out of its misery, I poured the remaining bourbon into the fire, extinguishing the flame completely.


	35. Chapter 35

Elena POV:

 _Dear diary,_

 _Ever since Stefan's return, it's been pretty calm and quiet, which I know unnerves Stefan and Damon to no end. Weeks went by without a sign from Katherine, Stefan's horrible, evil sire and ex-girlfriend, so we're all beginning to unwind a bit. I hope we're safe, especially Jeremy, Jenny, and my friends. I don't know what I would do if I lost somebody else..._

 _Even more confusing is my relationship with Damon, if there even is one. I'd been religiously avoiding Damon, which is pretty hard considering I'm dating his brother. Well, not exactly dating. Recently, Stefan and I have been going on little, non-threatening dates, involving movies, ice-skating, and dinners at The Grill. At first, we went on big group dates, but we've graduated to the point of one-one-one again. We haven't had sex or anything like that but have kissed chastely at the end of each date._

 _Although I still feel so guilty about what I said to Stefan about hating Damon, I'm still ornery as hell for that little trick Damon pulled when we were amidst a very passionate tryst. I guess I deserved it, but even I didn't think he could sink that low. Not only was I profoundly embarrassed at how badly I wanted him inside me and to make me twist in pleasure with my release, but I was also infuriated at him for the mean and unnecessary withholding of my release from me while he proudly achieved his._

 _In short, I was pissed! I still am. I hate Damon Salvatore. My body craves him, but I'll just condition myself to want Stefan again. I hate to admit it, but all this mess of feelings between me and Damon has got me stressed beyond belief. At night, I can't help but cry a little because I feel like something bad has happened and part of it was my fault. Knowing that Damon hates me really wounds me because although I was mad and had no attachments to him, I don't like having someone out there hating me that I used to care about._

 _Very confused,_

 _Elena_

Sighing, I threw my journal onto my bed and turned to continue my preening in my bedroom mirror. It used to be that writing in my journal made me feel better, but it just wasn't working its magic this time. Maybe I should just talk to him...Would he even want to see me? God, he was being such a stubborn asshole! I knew he was hurt, but at least I was willing to talk. Luckily, remaining angry at Damon kept all the crushing feelings of guilt from my attention. Deep down, I knew that I was the main offender here and that Damon had only done that mean thing because he was hurt. I hurt Damon, and then I just turned my back and pretended like nothing had happened. Shamefully, I had used my knowledge that Damon would never tell Stefan, because he cared about me, from stepping on the landmine of our carefully balanced friendships.

"Alright! Last touches and then we're good to go!" Jenna shouted excitedly from the hallway.

Nearly jumping around, she came into my room and carefully pinned one of my mother's bejeweled clips into my hair. Jenna examined her work before nodding her approval and lifting up another mirror behind me so I could see the shiny blue clip in my hair. When I saw it, I instantly had tears in my eyes because I remembered how beautiful my mother had looked whenever she wore this. She would wear this whenever we had gone to Founder's parties or any classy town function. Just having it in my hair made my head feel extremely heavy with grief. I shouldn't be wearing this. She should still be here, wearing it herself while I looked on with jealousy at having such a beautiful accessory.

"Ready?" Jenna asked before scooping up my carefully placed ball gown.

"Yeah. Of course," I tried to answer cheerily, but my voice was sort of gravely with the held-back tears.

The ride to the Lockwood's mansion was uneventful. Possibly sensing my dour mood, Jenna tried to engage me in small talk and told me silly stories about sneaking off with Logan during my mom's Miss Mystic Falls pageant and getting caught by Mrs. Lockwood. Mainly, I stared out the window and got lost in my thoughts. I should talk to Damon. Fine, it's decided. I will talk to Damon today. I'll make it better, and if I can't...well, I'll have done everything I could in my power.

As I entered the room where everyone else was getting ready, my mood lifted slightly. At least I would be with my friends. I saw Caroline, who looked like one of those special Barbie dolls that only come out on holidays, and hugged her tightly. I think she knew what this meant to me. I touched up my makeup and slipped into my dress while Jenna joked with us and fixed any wayward hairs. After Jenna went downstairs, Caroline and I were sitting on the chairs of the upstairs parlor and chatting about her date's annoying demeanor and how much she wished that Matt could be here, when the door opened, revealing a very dapper looking Damon in his tuxedo.

"Damon," I breathed dramatically because I was not expecting him to come to me, especially not in front of another person.

"We have a problem," He warned in a cool tone, his eyes briefly flashing over to Caroline and then to me.

I got the message.

"Caroline, could you give us a sec?" I asked politely and calmly, as if this wasn't weird for all of us.

"Are you guys seriously going to have sex in here? Right now? You do know that this thing is starting in like 10 minutes, right?" Caroline squawked indignantly.

"Caroline!" I shrieked in horror.

Despite my grimacing facial expression, Caroline just waved me off and rose from her seat like a gliding cloud and made her way to the door. Damon stepped out of her way so she could leave, but before she closed the door, she turned to Damon and pointed a finger at him menacingly.

"Don't mess up her hair!" She hissed, and then she was gone.

Momentarily, we were both shocked into silence at Caroline's indiscretion about our affair. I mean, I knew that she didn't approve of it, but I thought that she wouldn't have said anything aloud, especially with Stefan walking around.

"What's the problem?" I inquired to break the silence.

Keeping his eyes on me, Damon strode over to where I was sitting, coming to a direct stop in front of me. His eyes held mine and smoldered with sensuality. We were nearly touching but not quite yet. At his proximity, my heart started racing, and my temperature rose, which of course Damon already knew. After getting his desired reaction from me, he went and sat on the windowsill.

"It's Stefan. He's been drinking human blood again," Damon revealed grimly.

Immediately, I popped up from my seat and began pacing.

"What? No! He's under control now. He told me-,"

"He would tell you anything to keep drinking human blood, Elena. Look, I know Stefan, and I know that this is going to go downhill fast. And we both know what happened last time," Damon reminded me with a stern tone.

Shakily, I blew out a breath and nodded. This was so not the time to be worrying about Stefan's blood binge.

"This is all my fault," I said more to myself than anyone else.

Damon stood and walked over, capturing my face in his hands. I closed my eyes as a couple tears race down my cheeks.

"Hey, hey. Look at me," He commanded gently.

Eventually, I looked into his eyes and was captured by the radiating warmth and depth there. And it was all for me.

"This is not your fault. I won't let anything bad happen to you again, alright? It's going to be okay," He soothed, but I struggled in his grip.

"Stop being so nice. I don't deserve it," I moaned in guilt and moved away.

As soon as I was a step away, Damon followed me and gathered me up in his arms, stroking my hair like I was a scared animal.

"Yes, you do. You deserve it. All of it," He whispered against my hair.

Just then, the door casually swung open, and Stefan stepped into the room with a disgruntled expression. Damon and I blanched and separated immediately while trying not to look guilty.

"Did something happen with you two while I was gone?" Stefan asked bluntly.

Well, at least he didn't beat around the bush.

"That's not important right now. We should be talking about your drinking problem," Damon announced, effectively steering the conversation into slightly less dangerous territory.

"What drinking problem?" Stefan scoffed, which made me flinch.

"I know about the blood, Stefan. That you're drinking human blood again," I told him with a steely look.

Much to my surprise, he just shrugged and laughed like my concern wasn't warranted.

"How about this? I'll tell you whether or not I'm drinking human blood if you answer one of my questions," He proposed with an evil smirk.

"Okay?" I said, sharing a confused look with Damon.

First, Stefan strutted a bit, pretending to think of his question.

"Ah! Okay, I have one! Did you two sleep together while I was gone?" He turned to face us with an equally furious and mocking expression.

Both Damon and I were shocked into silence at his question. Damn, he had hit it right on the mark.

"Stefan, we've already been through this. Nothing happened," Damon recovered smoothly while stepping towards Stefan and reaching out a comforting arm.

Stefan, however, just side-stepped Damon's hand and came closer to me. Seeing him like this brought back all those memories of that night. Those nights. He had nearly killed me and had taken away my dignity and feelings of security. He had debased me for his own pleasure. I suddenly couldn't stand the sight of him.

"I want to hear it from her," Stefan growled, slowly backing me towards the wall.

"No-n-no, Stefan. I never-," I uttered in fear, but my answer did not appease him.

"Tell me the fucking truth, Elena!" He roared in my face.

Grabbing my arms, he slammed me into the wall roughly. Briefly, I felt his fangs on my collarbone, but the next moment, he was off me. Opening my eyes, I saw Damon struggling to subdue Stefan from behind, who was writhing around like some kind of deranged worm.

"Brother! Brother, look at Elena, look!" Damon urged Stefan.

Stefan's eyes rose to meet mine, and my face crumbled in fear and sadness. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. At the sight of my devastated face, Stefan's fangs went away, leaving him utterly confused and limp in Damon's hold. Cautiously, Damon let go, and Stefan stood back up with his eyes never leaving mine.

"Oh, my god, Elena. I-I need to leave," Stefan gasped before whisking himself out the door at the speed of sound.


	36. Chapter 36

Elena POV:

Just as Stefan had whooshed out the door, I fell back against the wall with my hand placed on the quivering skin above my rapidly beating heart. Because my fear had confused my sensory abilities, when something flew at me from across the room, I immediately screamed and fought its grip like a deranged animal.

"Elena, Elena! It's me. It's okay, it's me," A soothing, familiar voice whispered in my ear.

At the sound of his voice, I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his body and hugged tightly. Blessedly, his arms came around me, and his lips brushed against my forehead gently.

"What are we going to do?" I murmured absently.

The Miss Mystic Pageant was starting any minute; I didn't have an escort. Stefan could be rampaging around town, but I couldn't just leave because I was in this stupid pageant!

"Right now, we just have to get through this," He answered softly.

"Okay," I whispered because I trusted him. I believed what he said.

"I'll be downstairs," He reassured me and then left.

I took a minute to gain my equilibrium before leaving after him. I saw Caroline restlessly pacing near the bannister, and when she saw me, her eyes lit up with questions, but she could tell that this wasn't the time for answers.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly. I nodded with a shuddering breath.

With a comforting smile, Caroline turned and descended the stairs as her name was being called. My name was next, and my heart slammed into my throat as I descended. Seeing Damon waiting for me at the bottom, however, extinguished my panic in an instant. When his hand came out for me to grab, I wanted it to mean something else. To me, taking his hands felt like a promise. We would get through this together. United. Damon walked me out into the line-up, and we took our places. The music began, and we moved slowly in perfect synchronicity. It had seemed like Damon and I were one person at that moment. Like we were reading each other's minds or like we were mirroring each other. A part of me was surprised that he knew the dance, but I then realized that he had been at the first Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, after all. We circled each other as a slow burn came over my body. The nearly-touching was like torture because I just wanted to feel him under my fingers again.

Our eyes could not seem to stray from each other's as we danced in some sort of magical trance. I could see myself reflected in his eyes, and the woman I saw there was unbelievably sexy, powerful, confident, and glowing. I was that woman. That's what Damon made me. With him, I was no longer a girl but a woman who had grown into her own. A stronger person. A better person. I wanted him so badly. When I got him alone, I decided I would devour him. And not just his body. I wanted all of him. His body, his soul, his mind. The way we kept going back to each other was like the magnetic pull between a negative charge and a positive charge. It was inevitable, so why was I fighting it so much?

Finally, after an eternity, we were touching, and I was back in his arms where I was supposed to be. I could only concentrate on where his hands were touching me. The small of my back and my own hand clasping his felt like they were humming with energy. Thanks to Damon, we were moving effortlessly, and I hardly had to do any work at all. I knew that if I tried to think right now, all reason would be thrown out the window in favor of whatever had to do with Damon. After navigating through the luminescent blue galaxy in his eyes, I gained confirmation that he was feeling the same thing. With all the sexual tension between us, I was surprised that we hadn't burst into flames on the dance floor.

After separating, I realized with some embarrassment that I had totally tuned out everything else that was around me. While I was dancing with Damon, I had experienced tunnel vision, and the rest of the world had fallen away. My face was most likely red from the blush at his filthy gaze which revved my body up like a brand-new, Italian-made sports car. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jenna's disapproving glare, and I instantly dreaded the oncoming conversation that we would be having about my dance with Damon. Thankfully, I was spared from her ire by Damon, who was urgently pulling me inside as we followed the procession of the girls and their dates. We were supposed to be following the other contestants into another room, but Damon had other ideas. With practiced ease, Damon's arm snaked around my waist, and in seconds, he was hauling me into the nearest bathroom.

"What-?" I started to ask, but his lips effectively silenced me.

I felt one hand clasping my head to tilt my head up so he could deepen the kiss while the other hand quietly locked the door, much to my relief and amusement. When his unoccupied hand intrepidly began to haul up my dress, I couldn't help but loll my head back with a needy groan. I was almost too far gone to notice when Damon picked me up and none-too-gently set me on the sink. My legs parted instinctively, and he fell right into place between my thighs. Another moan snuck out when I felt his thumb press roughly against me through my underwear.

"God, I want you so much," I sighed brokenly.

If he didn't touch me soon, I would seriously lose my mi-

"Are you ready for me, baby?" He asked and slipped his fingers past the fabric.

This question was rhetorical, of course, since I had been practically leaking all over the place since the dance floor. It all felt so good: the coolness of the glass against my bare back, the smoothness of my dress bunched up around my thighs, the steady movements of Damon's fingers inside me. There was no doubt in my mind that I would have let him do anything to me in that moment. Even if Stefan himself walked in on us.

That thought immediately threw a bucket of guilt over the raging embers of my desire.

"Wait, wait," I breathed, pushing at Damon's chest.

"What's wrong?" He panted, his chest rising and falling beneath my fingers.

"No sex," I weakly argued, even though my body was tearing itself apart at the chance to be wrapped around Damon's body.

Seeing how serious I was, Damon nodded and rested his forehead against mine while trying to calm his breathing. My arms snaked around his torso and pressed his entire body further into mine. With only my underwear and his slacks separating us, my body continued to throb uncomfortably. I could tell Damon was similarly tortured by the way he was straining against his zipper valiantly. In fact, if I moved just a bit, his member would be directly rubbing against the damp part of my underwear.

Trying to seem sneaky, I shifted slightly so Damon's tip rubbed against the cotton of my underwear, which felt heavenly. Clutching his back, I moved my hips again. And again.

"Elena, stop that," Damon gruffly warned in a strained voice.

Ignoring him, I used his shoulders as leverage as I flexed over and over again on his bulge. It felt so good that my brain had been turned off, and my body was on auto-pilot now. Apparently, Damon's mind had turned off as well because he joined in my grinding by grabbing my ass with both hands and savagely grounding me against him. Sensitive from Damon's previous attention, I gasped in surprise when my whole body clenched and wetness flooded my underwear without warning. I had come! With all my clothes on! Without full intercourse! I was beaming with pride as Damon pumped a couple more times and then let out a long, rough growl, which ignited my desire that I thought was finally sated.

"I didn't know that could happen," I exhaled in wonder, which made Damon laugh.

With a dreamy smile, I looked up into Damon's eyes, which were dancing with joy and excitement. Briefly, he planted a firm kiss on my forehead before pulling back enough to look down at my upturned face. Unable to be physical away from each other, we remained pressed together in every way, except for our faces. I nearly purred when his finger brushed a strand of hair from my face.

"I love how innocent you are," He murmured with a soft smile before resting his head on top of mine.

While he might have been resting, I was absolutely going insane below him. I knew that he hadn't come right out and said that he loved me, but just the fact that I was in the same sentence as love made my heart go _thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump_. Damon's lilting laugh brought back my attention. He was pulling away but remained between my dangling, naked legs. His fingers ran up and down the exposed skin there, giving me goose bumps.

"I cannot say that I've done _that_ in a long time," He reminisced with a smirk.

"Done what?" I breathed out.

"Dry humping. What are we, 12?" Damon laughed again and slid up against me again to prove his point.

I knew he had to be pretty uncomfortable inside his pants, but just the touch of his _there_ made me feverish with desire.

"That's another first for me," I reminded him cheekily.

His wicked smile gradually melted into one of soft complacency, and a darker and more serious mood fell over his demeanor. Tipping my head up, he hung his lips so closely to mine, and he said,

"It's always so new with you."

The gravity of his words hit me right in the heart. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Did he really just say that? Again, this felt like something more than what was really happening. It felt symbolic, like it meant something deeper. He was acknowledging what I couldn't. We both knew that there was something else here besides pure, animalistic lust. Behind the blazing flame, there was an unknown source of heat just hiding behind what we wanted this to be.

"I...," I began but stopped because my throat was unbearably dry, and my whole body felt way too tight suddenly, and I needed air.

"We should probably get back to the party. People will be looking for us," I excused softly, hating myself for hurting him again.

Reluctantly, Damon walked back until he was no longer touching any part of me. Suddenly, the space between my legs felt too empty and too cold without him there. Quickly, I brushed my dress back into place and slid off the sink, ignoring Damon's outstretched hand. When he moved towards the door with me, I pushed him back with my hand, signaling him to stay there.

"Wait 10 minutes and then come out," I implored him gently.

His eyes darkened as he understood what I wanted. I didn't want people to think that we were together. I was almost ashamed of him. That's what Damon likely thought, but that's not what I meant. I don't know what I meant, but I thought I needed to protect him. From me. With one more yearning glance backwards, I slid out the door and shut it, leaving behind another broken heart in my wake.


	37. Chapter 37

Stefan POV:

Shaking. Shaking all over. I ran out the door, across the fields, and into the nearby woods.

 _What have I done? What have I done? I am a monster. I hurt the woman I love. I hurt Elena. I am not myself anymore. I can't keep living like this. Maybe I should go away. Maybe I should kill myself. I never wanted to be this way. I should just-_

"Well, well, well, look what we have here," I heard from behind me.

If it weren't for her sneering, taunting tone, I would have sworn that Elena was behind me, but I knew deep in my heart that it wasn't her. It was the other woman I had loved.

"Katherine," I managed to grit out before turning towards her.

She was casually leaning against a tree, twirling a twig in her perfectly-manicured hand. Slowly, she lifted her head and placed the twig between her teeth like a Spanish dancer with a rose. Her eyebrows wiggled suggestively as she stepped closer to me.

"Go away!" I snarled and attempted to turn and run, but she had anticipated me, and I was shoved onto my back with her standing above me.

Her black leather boot's spiked heel pined me down to the wet earth, and her eyes shown with mischief.

"What do you want?" I groaned and laid my head back, figuring I might be there for awhile.

"I told you-I want you. And not just this façade that you've been putting on, either. No, that will not due. Not for me. You see, Damon's already there-he's embraced his gift, but you...you have-what's the right word? Oh! Dishonored me _and_ my gift to you," She hissed, pressing her heel down, slightly puncturing my chest cavity.

I knew it was useless to argue with her, but I couldn't help but reply,

"I'm not that person anymore. I was never that person."

Briefly, her foot lifted from my chest, but the relief was short lived. Quickly, her heel lifted my chin so my eyes could meet her lusty, venomous gaze.

"Why do you defy me? Your sire? Have you no respect?" She drawled with a hurt expression before grinning.

Honestly, the grinning scared me more than the glare, because I knew that whatever pleased her was something bad. Somebody was about to get hurt.

"I love you, Stefan. Please remember that. I'm doing this for you," Katherine cooed before gesturing a "come-hither" motion with her fingers into the darkness.

At an agonizing pace, a small, quiet girl I recognized as Amber-another girl from the Miss Mystic Pageant, I think-came into view. She looked terrified-and with good reason. It would have been better for her if she was already dead. With fearful, pattering footsteps, she wandered over to Katherine, who slung an arm around her shoulders like they were best pals. I watched the girl gulp worriedly as Katherine tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. Gently, she stroked her face before looking back down at me.

"I found this little, lost lamb wandering around the property. That was stupid on her part but great for us, right, Stefan?" She asked sweetly.

The girl was obviously compelled, so she nodded compliantly.

"Katherine," I warned, but it was no use.

"Little lamb, my lover has been having some trouble controlling himself, you see. I thought he might need a little pick-me-up after ruining his chances with his poor excuse of a replacement girlfriend for me."

"Katherine!" I barked with fear for myself and this girl.

"Hush! We're just going to have a little snack, and then you can go back to your little debutante ball," She explained lightly.

Unable to look away, I kept my eyes glued onto Katherine's fingers brushing the hair off Amber's shoulders before her lips descended, sucking passionately on the skin there before biting down. The bite was deep; blood spilled immediately down the front of Amber's clothes. Amber fell to the side as Katherine licked her lips with a zesty moan. Her eyes pinned me down with an animal magnetism that called to the inner depths of my soul. I tried to fight it, I swear, but it was the siren call imbedded in every immortal's birth. We were born hungry, and we were never fully satisfied, no matter what we wanted to tell ourselves. This was my nature. Why was I fighting it? Elena was done with me, and besides her, I had no reason to exist as I had been.

"Get up-you're ruining your suit," Katherine reprimanded and reached down her hand for assistance.

I took it.


	38. Chapter 38

Damon POV:

I was such an idiot. No, idiot was not near harsh enough to compare my stupidity to. I made an idiot seem like a rocket scientist. The way that Elena played me-dancing with her, drawing me in and then slicing me into pieces with her fair-weather heart. Fuck, there was nothing worse than being kicked around like the deflated and unwanted soccer ball in a kid's backyard by the one you loved. To her, I would never be enough. I would never be Stefan. At least I wasn't a fucking liar like her. I knew what was happening, but she wouldn't allow herself to come clean. She felt the pull that I always felt when we were together. She felt the primordial terror that comes with falling in love. She knew me, and it scared her. Well, it scared me too, but I wasn't a coward about it.

After her suggested 10 minutes, I exited the bathroom and headed straight for the bar. I ordered a clean bourbon and decided to take some time outside to clear my head. I knew I should be looking for Stefan, but I knew he wouldn't attack Elena in a crowd full of people, so that bought me some time. Just as I was exhaling the bitter, chilled air, I heard a woman's voice nearby, saying,

"I don't know! She never showed up for the dance, and her dress is still there. I know Amber, and I know she wouldn't just walk off like this. Maybe something happened to her. I saw her walking outside-."

Instantly, my nostrils flared in recognition. Oh, shit. This was not good. And at a party full of counsel members, too! Nice time and location to lose your shit, Stefan. Very convenient. I strode past the worried whispers of Amber's mother and headed towards the wooded area near the exposed patio of the Lockwood's estate. Like the hunter that I was, I relied on my senses to let me know everything that was happening in a twelve mile radius. Closing my eyes, I breathed out and listened for something, anything. That's when I heard it-a snap of a branch directly in back of me. With my vampire face in place, I twirled around and scared the living daylights out of...Elena?

"Damon! You scared me!" She exclaimed with a pout after recovering her stolen breath.

"Well, _you_ scared _me_!" I retorted back sassily and turned forward to continue searching.

Unfortunately, she decided to follow me but was stumbling every few feet because she did not have my senses to guide her.

"Hey, wait!" She called and hastened her pace to catch up with me.

Right then, a branch snapped, and her foot caught the air. Before I knew what I was doing, I was zooming back and catching Elena seconds before she would have eaten dirt. I gently lifted her up and set her on her little, quaint feet. Placing my hands on her cold, shaking shoulders, I looked into her fierce and worried eyes.

"Thanks," Elena exhaled in wonder.

"Go. Back," I commanded, turning her around and patting her butt gently in the right direction.

"Hey!"

I sighed deeply when I continued on my way and heard her following me again. Without warning, I twirled around, and Elena stumbled again but caught herself at the last minute. She looked disheveled and was very out of breath from trying to keep up with me. I had to give her props for a human, though. Not many would have been able to follow me for as long as she did.

"Did I not just tell you to get lost? This is vampire territory, and I'm a little too busy looking for your boyfriend to babysit you right now, Elena," I explained sharply, drawing out her last name in an effort to annoy her.

Instead of arguing with me, much to my surprise, she simply crossed her arms and asked,

"Are you mad about the bathroom?"

In reply, I huffed in annoyance and began to walk away. If she got bitten, then that was her problem for wandering around like an idiot.

"Damon! Please! I'm...sorry, okay? That was mean, and I-,"

"Elena! I don't care, so please go back to the party and continue to put feminism back one hundred years!" I replied haughtily.

Secretly, I didn't want her to really know that I _was_ upset about what happened in the bathroom. How she had dismissed me like I was just something you scraped off your shoe.

"I know you're upset. I know because-," She panted from behind me.

I turned, hating myself, and waited for her to catch up. A part of me wanted to hear what she had to say, and the other part of me wanted to continue to taunt her...because that's just what I did.

"Then, Swami Elena, enlighten me on what I am thinking because you obviously know me better than I know myself."

"You're hurt. I know you are. And I'm sorry, but I'm trying to make this less messy. This shouldn't keep happening between us," Elena attempted to apologize with a weak smile and some shameful expressions.

Still, I wasn't buying it. Also, I was concerned as hell about how cold she was getting since we were out here in the middle of the night, and she was only wearing her silky, thin pageant dress. Despite myself, I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it to her none-too-gently. She stared at my jacket for a long time before looking back at me with watery eyes.

"This is hard for me, too, Damon," She whispered.

I stepped closer and basked in her exuding warmth.

"What is hard for you, Elena?" I asked, but I already knew.

I just wanted her to say it. I needed her to say it.

"You and me. What we have-what we're making. It's...it's...," She struggled internally as she edged closer to me and tilted her head up to share my yearning gaze.

"It's...?" I nearly begged her to finish her sentence when a pained cry sounded from not too far away.

"Stay here," I ordered her with wild eyes before racing off into the direction that was projecting fear, raw emotion, and red sustenance.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Stefan, holding a wilting girl in his arms with blood streaming down her body and blood smeared on his face. When he sensed my presence, he lifted his head in surprise and opened his mouth to explain just as Elena stumbled upon the scene.

"Oh, God," She exhaled in agony, covering her mouth with her trembling hands.

Putting his hands up in surrender, Stefan let Amber slide to the ground like a heavy doll and said,

"Lock me up. Please."


	39. Chapter 39

Elena POV:

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

I counted the strikes of the second finger on the clock while the monotonous droning of my teacher's voice continued to fill the classroom. Ever since we had locked up Stefan after my Miss Mystic pageant, all I could ever think about was what had happened that night. Thankfully, Amber was disoriented but alive after Damon compelled her that she had been attacked by the same animal prowling about in Mystic Falls. While I escorted Amber back to the party, Damon reassured me that he could contain Stefan long enough to lock him back in their make-shift prison in the cellar. Unable to speak due to the horror that I felt and saw, I mutely nodded and took Amber back to safety. It was especially annoying how she kept thanking me for saving her from the animal when I knew that it was actually my boyfriend that had attacked her. And when I thought that I couldn't feel any worse about what had happened or my part in it, it turns out that I was wrong. As soon as I stepped in the door, Amber started running her mouth-saying I saved her from the animal attacking everyone in Mystic Falls, how she could have died if I weren't there. Every person in the vicinity started thanking me and shaking my hand like I was running for mayor. I felt sick.

Spoiler alert: Caroline won like she should have all along. I spent about 10 minutes more at the party before I feigned sickness to leave. I went home, curled into bed with my dress and hair still intact, and cried until I fell asleep. The next day, I woke up with the most painful sensation of dozens of hair pins digging into my scalp. With a groan, I sat up and immediately regretted the action. Everything was spinning, and I was even seeing things! It looked as if there was a man in my room, too! A man that looked a lot like Damon, actually.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Damon greeted with a wan smile.

Oh, it was Damon.

"Ugh," I groaned in pain and swiftly began to pull the offending pins from my mountain of hair.

Without prompting, Damon sat down, scooted over, and began helping me remove the pins silently. When all the pins were gone, I let my head fall back on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair, smoothing it out until it reached down to my waist.

"Mmmmm," I purred unconsciously as his talented fingers lightly massaged my pounding head.

"How are you doing?" He tentatively asked, halting his impromptu massage.

I lolled my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Fine," I answered softly, feeling anything but fine.

Thankfully, he did not buy it.

"No, I mean it. How are you?" Damon beseeched me with enough emotion to make a statue cry.

"I...I don't know," I spoke from between two chapped, trembling lips.

Damon simply nodded and folded his arms around me, earning him another quiet moan of agreement from me.

"That's okay. I think you need time to process," He spoke suddenly.

I shrugged and opened my eyes, looking up at him. His face was hardened, and his eyes were stormy. I could physically feel the conflict brewing in his soul.

"I should probably see Stefan at some point," I reminded myself grimly.

Immediately, Damon tensed up but did not release his grasp.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," He replied sternly, which made me mad.

I squirmed in his grip until he released me and then grumpily rolled off my bed and onto my feet. I crossed my arms in an attempt to look more intimidating.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. After everything we've been through," I argued.

My accusing tone made Damon hop off the bed and back me into the wall with a menacing look.

"Actually, I do get to tell you what to do since you seem to have a fucking death wish, Elena. So, while you're not in the right mindset to be making big girl decisions, I'll make them for you."

"No way! Why can't you just trust me? Let me be my own person," I yelled back, slapping uselessly at his body, which was caging me against the wall.

His smile turned into an evil smirk, and his hand smoothed down my face and twirled a strand of hair around his finger.

"That's the other brother, Elena. I don't play nice just to avoid hurting your feelings," Damon whispered playfully with a growing smile.

"You asshole!" I screeched and tried to shove him off me.

Finally, he stepped to the side and allowed me to push past him. When he was that close, there was no way I could concentrate. I had to cool down. I had to think. I paced a couple times in anger before I gestured to the door.

"Damon, I am tired, need a shower, and desperately want to take this dress off," I explained calmly and walked to open the door.

Much to my irritation, he plopped down on the bed and stared at me without speaking. I sighed in exasperation and closed the door.

"So take it off," Damon eventually spoke.

"What?"

"You said you wanted to take off your dress-so take it off," He suggested with a wicked glint in his eyes.

I balked.

"No, get out!" I argued weakly, but my traitorous body was already being licked by flames, pulling me quickly towards the siren call of no return.

"What? It's not like I haven't seen it all before," He recalled smugly and reclined back on my bed as if expecting a show.

Truthfully, I wasn't bashful in front of Damon anymore, but I was extremely pissed at him for talking to me like an infant and trying to control me. I wouldn't give into him.

"Fuck you," I growled, which made him laugh.

"You already did," He chuckled, which made me go absolutely wild.

I strode over to him and smacked him right on the cheek, which made his smile dissolve from his face right away. As my hand went up again for a repeat performance, his hands flew up and grabbed mine, preventing me from hitting him. Quickly, he stood and towered over me with an angry expression.

"Don't do that again," He warned me darkly.

"Don't tell me what to do," I replied breathlessly.

The next moments of us eye-fucking each other were shamelessly long and then everything moved quickly after Damon demanded,

"Take off that dress."

Instead of fighting him like before, I tugged my fists from his grasp and shoved him roughly so he fell back on the bed with a surprised expression. Intrepidly, I climbed onto his lap and placed my hand on his chest, telling him to lay still just like that. Gulping, he nodded, and I stood back up, facing him. Slowly, I trailed my fingers over the smooth material of my dress before they found the clasp and zipper that held it together. Keeping my eyes on Damon's, I unzipped and let the lifeless piece of fabric fall to my feet. Because of the style of my dress, I couldn't have worn a bra without the dress puckering, so I went without one. To prevent lines in my gown, I wore a nude-colored, lace thong. Wordlessly, I shimmied out of those too and walked over to Damon's prone figure. I could tell that he was itching to reach out and touch me but did not because I had commanded him not to, and that made me smile.

When I was at his knees, I let my fingers grip his denim-clad crotch as he groaned at the devilish look in my eyes. With a fiendish grin, I laid myself over his body and whispered,

"You make me absolutely...crazy."

As the last word left my mouth, Damon rolled me under him and began to hastily unbuckle his belt. When his erection was free and saluting me like usual, I turned around at the last minute until I was on my hands and knees, rubbing my naked figure into Damon's fully-clothed one.

"Like this," I breathed, pushing back again to get my point across.

"Jesus," He moaned, and I smiled at his arousal at how I was offering myself to him.

With his feet firmly planted on the floor, Damon pulled me back onto his thick cock, causing me to gasp loudly, and began a perfect, punishing rhythm of pumping into me. Gritting my teeth, I shoved myself backwards in a frantic manner like a savage. I was surprised that the bed hadn't collapsed from our ferocious love-making. Thankfully, Damon was fucking me with as equal fierceness as I was giving back to him. This was becoming some primal porno shoot right in my high school bedroom, including the resounding pounding of skin and tortured gasps and echoing groans of pleasure.

"Pull my hair," I suddenly panted.

In hindsight, I was surprised at my request. I'd never had my hair pulled during sex, and I never saw myself as the type of person who would like it rough in the bedroom. Without pause, Damon seemed to comply with my desire as he gathered up my unrestrained mane of hair and circled it around his wrist like a spiral before tugging, which made me rear up like an untamed horse.

"Yes!" I cried, jerking my hips like a maniac and seeing lights in my peripheral vision.

Suddenly, Damon pulled out and flipped me over on my back. I whined my displeasure, but he abruptly silenced me with a finger over my lips. When I looked up and saw his devilish grin, my entire body clenched in fear and anticipation. While his dick was standing up and glistening with my juices, his fingers swiftly impaled me and rubbed at me roughly, almost bordering on painful. They poked and stroked at my insides like they were searching for something.

"What-?" I gasped, unable to keep my head up from all the pleasure coursing through my body.

"I'm gonna make you squirt," He replied in a breathless, coarse voice that made me squeeze maddeningly around his fingers.

"I don't know-," I tried to interject, but his hand clamped over my mouth.

When I gave him a questioning look, he simply explained,

"You're going to scream. Don't want the neighbors to think I'm killing you."

Surprisingly, I did not find that comforting in the least. But, he was right. Things were about to get very loud, and later, I was very grateful that he covered my mouth. When his fingers finally found that softer tissue inside me, my eyes flew back open in surprise at the new sensation. Unable to help myself, I groaned loudly into Damon's hand, which I was practically salivating into. His fingers ground themselves in that spot again and again as noises never heard before reverberated into his hand over my mouth. He was merciless, and I was glad. Although I had no idea what was happening with my body, I trusted Damon. There was honestly no one else I would have rather done kinky and embarrassing shit with than him. I trusted him even though I thought I would pee on him, to which he reassured me,

"It's okay. I've got you."

Well, if he really wanted me to...except I didn't pee on him. My throbbing insides finally released a rush of fluids onto the bed. It was almost comical the way it soaked both of us and flew to the floor while I screamed with all my might into Damon's hand. When he withdrew him fingers, I was still shaking all over with aftershocks of my orgasm. He clutched me tight and shook with me as our panting echoed off each other.

"Inside," I managed to whisper after I swiftly gripped his member, which made him jolt in surprise.

He nodded and reached back to remove his shirt and throw it behind him. Next, his pants and boxers were removed with the help of my wiggling toes. We were both incredibly sweaty, but I savored it. His scent and presence all around me. I'd never felt more peaceful or protected. I smoothed his damp mass of hair back and kissed him tenderly. A conjoined moan escaped us when he jerked forward and filled me. Our love-making carried on this way, with us looking into each other's eyes and our fingers intertwined above my head.


	40. Chapter 40

Elena POV:

As Damon slowly joined me in consciousness, I stared up at the ceiling with an expressionless face. Even when I felt his fingers caress my face and his lips trail sweet kisses on my jaw, I did not move. When he knew he would get no reaction from me, he pulled back and propped himself up on his elbow.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, you definitely have something-face. Tell me," He goaded gently but with a steely undertone.

I sighed and turned onto my side, mirroring his position.

"Stefan," I answered and fidgeted with the lining of the flimsy sheet covering us.

"What about him?"

"I'm going to tell him. About us," I ventured and sucked in a breath of surprise when Damon climbed on top of me and started kissing me like a maniac.

"Damon, let me talk-," I tried.

Abruptly, he pulled back and looked down at my face with an awed expression. Pushing my hair away from my face, his lovely eyes mapped out the lines of my face as if I were a dream that were to be snatched away suddenly.

"There's an 'us'?" He asked in such a cheerful voice that I couldn't help but answer his smile with his own.

"Well, yeah...," I trailed off uncertainly, but Damon's reassuring kisses to my awaiting lips were banishing all self-doubt.

As he rolled us over so I was on top and straddling his rigid erection, I giggled and looked down at him with a coy expression.

"Damon, we can't fuck right before I go break things off with your _brother_ ," I chastised him, but mostly myself.

What was I thinking? I was becoming more like Katherine than I'd ever thought possible. Just then, his hand slid up my body to cup my face, and I automatically nuzzled its warmth and comfort.

"Hey, we're not fucking," He reminded me softly, his eyes shining with genuine admiration which made my heart skip and then take off like a rogue marching band.

"If we're not fucking, then what is this?" I teased, sliding myself over his cock while steadying myself with my hands on his chest.

He groaned at my actions but continued to smile as he said in all seriousness,

"Making love. Aren't we?"

My breath caught in my throat, and before I could stop myself, I found myself blurting out exactly what I was thinking.

"That's what I-," I stopped myself and blushed furiously.

Undeterred, Damon cocked his head to the side and regarded me coolly.

"What you...?" He prompted.

Deciding to just be honest, I replied,

"That's what I had been saying...in my head, you know? That's silly, right?" I laughed self-deprecatingly.

"No, not at all," Damon whispered, his hands latching onto my hips and gently pushing me down onto his shaft.

"Mmmm!" I exclaimed when he was all the way in and threw my hair back, riding him like a possessed cowgirl.

As I was climbing, I shifted forward at a particularly pleasurable thrust from underneath me and grabbed the headboard, which turned out to be just the right leverage I was looking for.

"Is this alright?" I panted, looking down.

Despite my question, Damon looked like he was fully enjoying himself, but when you love someone, their pleasure is so important, especially when it comes from you...wait, what? Love someone? Where did that come from? I told myself that I didn't love him. We were just having some extremely satisfying sex, and while my body might have belonged to him at this point, I wasn't completely sure that my heart did too.

"Anything that feels good for you, baby," He encouraged me, equally breathless from our exertions.

"I want you to feel good, too," I argued and then smirked because only Damon and I would find a way to argue about something during sex.

"On top is fine. Means you do all the work," He laughed, which caused tiny vibrations to do strange things to my body.

"Typical. Lazy," I panted, growing sweaty with all 'the work'.

"Watching you like this...it's fun," He murmured with a wide grin.

I could only murmur in agreement as I slammed down harder and harder. Again and again. It was the strangest thing...the tapping of the headboard against the wall. It reminded me of that night...The sound of the headboard hitting the wall with each violent thrust...Stefan's slick skin on mine. The taste of cotton as I gripped my covers with my teeth to prevent myself from screaming. Suddenly, that was all I could think about. The tap tap tap resounded in my ears as heavy as a heartbeat. It was hard to swallow for some reason as fear crept into my throat and painfully squeezed my lungs. As the flashbacks overcame me, I briefly let go of my hold and was momentarily stunned when the headboard moved under my fingers, smashing my unsuspecting phalanges into the wall. Crying out, I withdrew my fingers and cradled them to my chest. Immediately, Damon sat up, taking me in his arms and inspecting my fingers.

"Are you hurt?" He asked with a frantic voice.

 _Am I hurt? He hurt me._

 _That night. With Stefan. He hurt me. He_ hurt _me._

 _"Wait, stop, I'm so close."_

 _"Elena?"_

 _"Oh, my God. Elena...I'm so sorry."_

"What?" I wondered, trying to regain my composure.

 _No, you're here with Damon. You're safe. Come back to this moment. Don't go away..._

 _"Elena...I'm so sorry."_

"Elena!" I heard him bark at me.

"What?" His voice cleared the fog in my mind, and suddenly,

I found myself back in the present, with Damon, inside me, me on his lap, him searching my face for any sign of recognition that I knew where I was.

"Where did you go? Just now?" He whispered, cupping my face between his large hands.

 _"No, it was rape."_

"I...," I trailed off, not being able to explain it.

His concern for me was evident on his face as he looked into my eyes, entirely unconvinced that I was okay. Gently, his fingers cradled mine and looked for bruises or blood but there were none. I was okay. I was okay, I repeated to myself. The longer he looked at me, though, the faster the facade of being okay began to crash down on me.

"I need to shower," I gasped, leaping off him and sprinting into the bathroom.

As the beginning of a panic attack materialized in my subconscious, I hopped into the shower and clumsily yanked on the nozzle. Numbed, I stood there for a few moments with cold water pelting me like a frenzied hailstorm. When the door clicked shut and the shower curtain moved, I knew that he had joined me. As soon as I felt his hand on my shoulder, calming me, I broke down and cried. I tried to keep it together, but when he turned me around and held me in his arms, it felt like I was coming home, and it was so confusing and amazing and scary all at the same time.

"Oh, baby," He murmured sorrowfully into my hair, kissing my forehead and bringing me closer.

I couldn't even feel the cold water anymore as I gripped him like a vice, my nails cutting into his skin like fishhooks. At that point, I couldn't tell if I was trembling from crying or the cold water. Shifting me slightly, Damon reached behind me and turned the water to warm, and as we stood there in the gathering steam, I could feel myself becoming stronger, feeling better. Looking up finally, I curled my hands around his neck and kissed his lips softly.

"Thank you," I said, my voice shuddering with emotion.

Without thinking, one of my hands slipped down between our bodies and stroked him evenly, earning me a hiss of pleasure from Damon.

"Elena-," He tried to warn me, but I was undeterred.

"Please. Let me," I begged with wide, expression-filled eyes.

I could tell he understood me. This is what I needed. I knew him as well, so when his fingers crept down between my legs and parted me, I welcomed him. This is how we would heal. Together. With each other. Sooner than usual, he came in my hand, his spurts of cum decorating my naked stomach, with an agonized moan, likely due to the pure and powerful emotion between us in that moment. The shower briefly shuddered on impact when his open palm reached out to steady himself while his fingers continued to work magic between my clenched legs. Reaching up, I buried my fingers in his hair to anchor myself as I convulsed in pleasured agony.

We held each other even as the water turned cold.

I was scared, but I was in love with Damon Salvatore.


	41. Chapter 41

Elena POV:

"Quit it! We're almost there!" I laughed, swatting Damon's inching fingers that kept trying to lift up my skirt.

"That's your fault for wearing something so enticing around me. I think I need to see if you're matching," He decided firmly, reaching over to lift my hem again.

I swatted him away again, giggling.

"Stop that! You're driving, and matching? Matching what?" I asked.

Much to my chagrin, he ignored me and left my skirt alone. However, that relief was short-lived as he started tugging at my neckline, looking down my shirt to peer at my cleavage. When I realized what he was doing, I pushed his hands away with a huff. I was starting to get agitated at his antics, but I knew why he was doing that. He was scared of losing me today, but I wouldn't let that happen, so I continued to let him look to his heart's content.

"Finished with your looking, then?" I inquired when he sat back in his seat with both hands on the wheel again.

"Matching bra and panties-I approve," He murmured, looking over at me with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at his antics.

"I didn't do it for you," I replied haughtily, which made him roar with laughter.

"If you had done it for me-you'd be wearing nothing underneath all those clothes."

My mouth quirked into a grin because I knew he was right.

"That's true," I conceded with a quaint smile.

Gently, his fingers twined with mine, and he kissed my knuckles with a shy expression. I ran my free hand through his hair in response.

"Don't be scared. He won't hurt me," I promised, looking into his eyes.

"I'm not scared of that," He confessed quietly, looking out at the boarding house which we were quickly approaching.

When we were parked in the driveway, he stared ahead, his thumb caressing mine absently-mindedly.

"You're scared he'll say something. That it'll come between us," I deduced and sighed heavily.

To say that things between us were complicated was an understatement. It would be harder to get Damon's trust than I originally thought.

"It won't change anything," I reminded him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

Damon nodded but did not look convinced.

"Let's get this over with," He growled, unlocking our fingers and exiting the car briskly.

I followed after him, but he disappeared the moment we stepped through the door. I supposed I should have been touched that he was giving me privacy, but I felt abandoned. With a heavy heart, I found the door to the cellar and entered. Before approaching Stefan's cell, I took a deep breath and clenched my fists a couple times. I could do this. Unlike before, in the beginning, when I was so in love with Stefan and in my little bubble, I was not afraid. Now, I knew exactly what he could do to me because he had already done it to me. My lesson wasn't learned however, because here I was again, physically putting myself in the presence of death.

"Stefan?" I called softly, walking towards the door.

"In here," He joked, and it warmed my heart but only a tad.

Opening the door, I stuck my head in first to see Stefan sitting on his little cot with his elbows resting on his knees while his fists propped up his bowed head. It almost looked like he was praying if I had not known him better.

"Can I sit?" I asked, gesturing towards the empty part of his cot.

He shrugged.

"You don't have to," Stefan offered quietly.

I sat down anyways. We were both silent so I could gather my thoughts.

"I'm sorry...that you had to find out about me and Damon that way," I started, but oddly did not get a reaction from Stefan.

Finally, he sighed and ran his hands over his face as if trying to scrub away the exhaustion that was clouding his handsome features.

"I think I knew before. There was a way he held you, like you were letting him in to a part of you where I couldn't go anymore," He explained sadly.

I nodded, equally as melancholy.

"You're falling in love with him," He accused benevolently.

I bit my lip to trap the gasp of surprise from leaving my mouth. How did he know if I had literally just realized this a few hours ago?

"How did you-?" I couldn't help but blurt out.

Our eyes met, and I could see a world of pain in those endless green eyes. Eyes I had looked into countless times as we embraced, made love, confessed our deepest secrets to each other. Except now, I did not know him. We had severed the connection when I ran to Damon and Stefan indulged in his savage vampire nature. We were no longer one, and it hurt to be apart like that. After everything we had been through, it was over, and there was no moving forward from here.

"I could feel it. It was like this sensation of your love leaving my body, and I knew that it would go somewhere else. Because, Elena, you're not the type to not love. You can't stop, and it has negative as well as positive consequences. Sure, you're closer to more people, but at what cost? Now, your love will go to Damon, which makes sense because you have both grown closer recently, and we already know he already loves you-,"

"No, we don't know that he loves me," I argued, because I honesty didn't know.

Still, Stefan was resolute in his belief.

"He does. Otherwise, why would he care? And so soon after Katherine? When he first came to Mystic Falls...and he saw you, I was afraid for you. He was looking to make me suffer, and you were my...everything. I guess I shouldn't have loved you like I did. It put a target on both of our backs," He huffed with false laughter, "And we're still in danger because I loved you. Because I brought Damon here, and now Katherine, directly to you. So much for making your safety my priority."

Despite my own need to divulge in this cathartic session, I stayed quiet and cried silently, my palms catching my tears.

"I swear, Elena-I never thought things would turn out this way. I would have left after the accident. I wouldn't have come back," Stefan murmured gruffly, and when I looked over, I could tell that he was crying as well.

Not knowing what to do, I put my hand on his shoulder and laid my head against his side.

"I can't do this anymore. I just can't...without thinking...," I confessed brokenly, sobbing earnestly at all my pain and fear. All inflicted by someone who was my lover, my friend, my soul mate.

"I know. It's okay," He nodded, not sobbing but very close to losing control of his emotions.

Despite his self-control, I could physically feel his pain and suffering, and that broke me as well. We might not have been together anymore, but when you're that close to someone, you still feel things. You can't help it because it's an after-effect of being in love.

"You won't have to see me anymore. I'm leaving for somewhere far away, and in a few years, I'll only be a nightmare but nothing more to you."

"No! This is your home, too. I don't want to...," I trailed off in confusion.

"Don't want what?" Stefan pushed urgently.

"To lose you," I whispered and doubled over like I was in pain.

God, I was so fucking confused. Why did I still want someone who abused me, raped me, to be around? I was so messed up about this, but I didn't want him to just go off into the sunset to never be seen again. He was a big part of my life, and I couldn't just leave it like this. Briefly, I felt his hand on my back, rubbing circles to comfort me, but it only made me cry harder. I'd lost so much. My parents. Now Stefan. And my relationship with Damon was scary because here I was, not even completely finished with one relationship and now jumping straight into something new and deep and committed feet-first. Another lesson had not been learned on my part.

"Thank you," He whispered, removing his hand, and I sat back up, looking at him.

Slowly, so he knew what was coming, I reached behind me and unlatched my necklace, removing it. I weighed it in my palm before handing it back to him. Both of our tears fell, cleansing the jewelry of all that we used to be. It was too much to bear, watching something so significant to me, sitting in a puddle of salt water while the man I used to love watched me walk away, so I got up and headed to the door.

"Elena!" He called right before I closed the door, sealing him away.

"Yes?" I answered uncertainly.

I was too weak to take anymore, so I didn't know if I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I know you don't want to hear this, and God, I am such a hypocrite for saying this."

"Saying what?"

"Damon...I know you love him, but being with either of us, it's like asking to be put in harm's way. We're not good for you. You should start over. Focus on being human," He suggested with a firm, even tone.

I could tell that Stefan had been thinking about this for awhile, much longer than before we had started talking today.

"We're not-," I began reflexively, not wanting to upset Stefan.

"I know you showered because you didn't want me to smell him on you and make me upset, but it's still there, so please don't deny it," He interrupted me, but it wasn't in a mean way.

I gulped and nodded with red cheeks at being caught.

"Just please think about what you're doing. If something happens to you, it will be on Damon's conscience for the remainder of his existence. He'll never come back from that. It would be easier to make him hate you now but keep him alive and with some humanity than to let yourself get hurt and lose him forever."

"I'll think about it," I whispered and closed the door.

"Goodbye, Elena," I heard behind me.

"Goodbye, Stefan," I returned softly and with a sense of finality.

As I climbed up the stairs, I had to rest a couple times against the hard, cold wall because I had become so weak from all the emotions shared with Stefan. Instead of feeling free to pursue my relationship with Damon, I felt heavy in my core, like every time I picked up one foot, I was lifting a leaden weight. When I got to the top, Damon was waiting for me in the threshold, his arms crossed over his chest defensively. He was assessing how I felt before he made a move, and it was so Damon and so familiar that I had to leave. I felt like I was being torn apart just by being in that house. I loved him, but I needed to be away for a bit to recover. Instead of telling him this, I just made a move to leave, but he blocked me.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Can I come with you?"

"I need time, Damon."

"He said something to you, and you let it affect us. You said you wouldn't let that happen," Damon blamed with venom in his voice.

"I'm sorry that I can't just hop from one person's bed into another's like you, okay! I'm so fucking tired, and I need to go home! Now, get the hell out of my way!" I shrieked, roughly shoving at him until he moved.

I could tell that my comment about his bed-hopping upset him because he tensed up, but I didn't try to correct myself. I was becoming unhinged by all my pain, and I needed to go away and cry alone for awhile. My mind was becoming smaller and smaller as I narrowed in on one need-fleeing. And he wasn't letting me go, so I was lashing out at him, physically and emotionally.

"Fine, go. I won't chase you. I know you'll be back," He jabbed, stepping aside.

"Yeah, how do you know that?" I countered back, knowing that none of this was helpful in any way.

It was a waste of time to argue like this, but I couldn't help it. We both knew how exactly to push each other's buttons.

"The only girl I've ever loved-Katherine, she rode the Salvatore 'merry-go-round', and she came back, so why shouldn't you?" Damon taunted.

It was too far, and he realized that but did not move to comfort me or edit his comment. That was a sore spot that Damon knew about, and he had shoved a building-sized prod against it. I was destroyed by this. Even though Stefan claimed Damon loved me already, I could not believe that he would say this. Instead of defending myself or arguing, I closed the door behind me and was about to slide down the side of the house and cry out my feelings when I felt a whoosh of air against my face, and suddenly, I was in front of me. Before I could scream, my other self grabbed me and looked straight into my eyes, compelling me.

"Let's have some fun now that your necklace is gone."


	42. Chapter 42

Elena POV:

"What do you want with me? Are you going to kill me?" I called as I followed my other self into the forest after she compelled me to come with her.

We needed more privacy, she had said. This was Katherine, I realized. From Stefan's picture. There was no way to tell us apart, that was for sure. She looked, sounded, and moved exactly like me. How was this possible?

"Not yet, my dear. Not yet. I have some things on my agenda to do first," She promised lightly.

She suddenly stopped, and I nearly ran into her, which made her snort with amusement.

"Alright, here's where the fun begins! We're going to play some games," Katherine smiled wanly and propped her hands on her hips.

"Why? Why me?" My voice wobbled with fear.

Unlike a normal person with compassion, she sighed in annoyance.

"No more water-works, please! I've had enough of that ugly crying face for a century, thank you very much."

I was stunned into silence.

"Much better. Now, my endgame is Stefan, so you're going to help me get him back."

Despite the danger, I laughed at the absurdity of it.

"There's no way. Stefan loathes you. He always will," I claimed.

Suddenly, my back was slammed against a tree, and pain radiated throughout my entire body. Katherine was inches from my face, her fangs were extended, and her veins glowed like purple inchworms beneath her blemish-less skin.

"That's where you're wrong, kitten. He's holding back because of Y-O-U, and once _you_ are finished ripping up his innocent little heart, he will embrace his true nature and come back to _me_ ," She hissed into my face, and I had to admit that even her breath smelled sweet.

"What are you going to make me do?" I asked hesitantly.

I didn't want to hurt Stefan anymore, but I was no longer in control. At my question, she stepped back and clapped her hands gleefully.

"I'm so glad you asked! Let me tell you what I have in mind."

Before I could react, she was in my space again, and her eyes were boring into mine. Her compulsion was so strong that I could feel it seeping into my consciousness and coating my soul like chocolate syrup that solidifies once you pour it on ice cream.

"You will desperately want Stefan and his body. You cannot sleep, cannot eat or do anything else without first being fucked by and only with Stefan. But that's not all-you're not satisfied by one brother, because who ever is? You will not be able to orgasm without being with _both_ brothers on the same day. No satisfaction until you have been with both of them-oh! Scratch that! No orgasm until you have been with both of them at once. Doesn't technically have to be a three-way, but close to it. Forget this conversation and seeing me today. You will feel that you are no longer in any danger as of now. Do not look for me, and do not encourage the Salvatore's to look for me either. Well, I think that's all, but we'll be in touch if I forget anything. Happy hunting!"

When I opened my eyes, I was alone.


	43. Chapter 43

Damon POV:

I knew that the comment about how Katherine was the only woman I ever loved was so uncalled for the minute it came out of my mouth. God, she looked so hurt I could die myself. However, in the moment, all I wanted to do was hurt her. No! Not like that, you psycho! I wanted to punish her emotionally, like how she was hurting me. And I know it was wrong, because I love her, and she should know that. Instead, I indulged in my self-destructive behavior and ruined what we had going for us. I couldn't just be patient for her to recover from the ordeal of talking to Stefan, no. The moment she ascended the stairs, her body wary and grey with stress and her entire posture defeated. Still, I pushed her. I told her that she would come back, but this time, I really didn't know...if she left me for good, then I would be nothing. _Please forgive me, Elena. Please. I love you._

Like a possessed stalker, I followed her from a distance, never talking to her or letting her know I was there. I was waiting for an opening where I could apologize, but I also wanted an apology. Despite her literally living in a hotbed of supernatural and un-normal circumstances, she started to act kind of...unhinged. From a distance, I saw her come out to join Blondie and Sabrina for lunch. She laughed and played around with them like she usually would, but I noticed she didn't eat her food, and when she tried, she spat it out right away as if the taste burnt her mouth. Playing it off, Elena would sweep it under the table. Shockingly enough, neither one of the brain trust noticed what was happening, which absolutely made my blood boil.

"Some friends," I murmured to myself angrily.

Eventually, I just felt so grossed out at my peeping at some underage girl that I went away...

...But not for very long. At nightfall, I was stationed back on the branch by her window, keeping vigil over her sleeping form. At least, I assumed she was sleeping, but every time that she became still, she would sigh in aggravation and flip over only to move again and again. And again. At that point, I was becoming agitated for her. Why didn't she just take a Nyquil or get drunk or something? That was a sure-fire way to pass out, whether you wanted to or not. In my day, if you couldn't sleep, all you needed was a good roll in the hay, some opium, and a bottle of whiskey, and it was lights out.

Despite myself, I couldn't look away from this tornado of a sleeping schedule. I wanted to laugh because it was amusing to watch someone come so close to the peacefulness of sleep only to be jolted back into consciousness at the last minute, but I could literally feel her growing desperation and fear at not being able to sleep, so I stretched out my mind, hoping to ease her dreams and put her to rest, finally. Except once I began to probe, I felt a jumble of angst and strange slices of silence and blankness in her mind as if she had forced herself to forget something. But humans couldn't do that, and I knew that. I would have been more suspicious of this, but when I opened my eyes and saw her little hand slip beneath the covers, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets from shock. Was she...? Oh, yeah. _Oh, yeah_.

 _Now she had the right idea_ , I thought to myself. I don't know why I was so surprised, but it just filled me with so much happiness to get to watch her touch herself when she thought no one was watching. It was sick, I know, but it was right up my alley.

My eyes fixated on the repetitive movement beneath her comforter, and when she rolled towards me, the moonlight caught her features which were drenched in ecstasy. It was almost too much for me, so I clawed at the bark like a sexually-repressed cat at its scratching post. _God, I had to get in there. I just had to help. But, wait, she wanted space, remember? And she'd be pissed and probably embarrassed if you just busted in there after watching her masturbate._ _But pissed off sex was also a specialty of mine_ , I noted with a smirk.

"Mmm...Da-," She sighed blissfully, and that broke any remaining restraint I had left.

Leaping in the window like a goddamn James Bond hero, I began tearing off my own clothes, which admittedly scared and aroused the hell out of her. Not even bothering to close the windows or secure the flimsy curtains that were swaying wildly from the evening wind, I licked my lips in anticipation as Elena hurriedly kicked off her covers, inviting me to join her. Not wasting any time, I reached into the waistband of her tiny pajama bottoms and tugged down, ridding her of them and her underwear at the same time. Already naked, I went to crawl up her body to wrestle off her thin tank-top, but she was so wet from her previous self-service that I accidentally slid right in, without any extra guidance.

"Fuck, you feel so good, I never want to leave your heat," I groaned into her mouth as we started to rock against each other.

"Me neither, me neither," She panted wildly, her fingers painfully gripping my ass like an imbedded barnacle.

I would have made some remark about how hot she was for me, but I was too far gone at how good she felt. And I knew she felt the same exact way because her body was sending me all those familiar signs that I was accustomed to. Although I tried to be gentle, I had missed her so much that I belatedly realized that I was pounding into her with no mercy. She wasn't helping me slow down, however, by the way she was begging for me to give it to her as if I had never given it to her before. Grunting, I attempted to hold off before her, but she wasn't coming. Which was pretty strange since she always climaxed (several times on a slow day) when we were together. That's why I was such an amazing lover. I never left my partner hanging. My general rule was to give two for each of my own, and if I was bored afterwards, then I could play with their body orally or with my hands. That was the amazing thing about women's bodies, you see. Once men finished, they were pretty much finished (unless you were supernatural like me), but women's bodies just gave and gave. With each orgasm, they just became more and more sensitive (and louder) but never halted proceedings because they just couldn't go on.

"Elena, come on. Come with me," I begged/ordered.

She nodded with her little lip sucked into her mouth in concentration, but even though I could feel how much harder she was working to get there, it still alluded her. In an effort to help, I slid my hand down between us and played with her, but it still wasn't making any difference. I could see and feel her distress (this had never happened with us), and my traitorous body was still meticulously preparing for the giant release I was about to have.

"It's okay, just come. Please," Elena pleaded, grabbing my hair by the roots and tugging hard, which she knew always did it for me.

"Oh, god. Elena-," I whimpered (yes, whimpered. Men can whimper too) as I unloaded what felt like years-worth of seed into her tiny, sweat-slicked body.

For what seemed like an eternity, I shuddered on top of her until I rolled off and searched the ceiling of her room for any signs that I was in my own dream. Unlike our usual post-coital ritual, Elena did not climb on top of me for round 2 or curl into my side while slipping her lithe leg between mine. She just laid there, probably reeling from her lack of orgasm. I was just as confused. That had never happened before. She always came. Maybe I didn't do it for her anymore? Had Stefan said something so upsetting that it mentally or emotionally blocked her orgasm from happening?

"I'm sorry," I whispered because I honestly didn't know what else to say.

This was a first for me, but not one worth celebrating.

"It's...okay," She conceded bravely, but I could hear the sadness in her voice.

Was I missing something?

"Do you want me to-?" I offered.

"No, I'm just gonna go to sleep now," She interrupted, turning onto her side and effectively ending the conversation.

While I could not see her face, I could tell that she was crying because the scent of salt-water and snot filled the air suddenly, and I had never felt so fucking inferior or miserable before, so I left.


	44. Chapter 44

Damon POV:

As I traversed the roads back home, I couldn't help but feel like there was more going on with Elena that I knew about. She was acting so strangely lately, as strange as one can normally act while living amidst all types of supernatural creatures. Here was what I knew:

1\. She wasn't eating

I had noticed she looked like she had lost weight already, even though that still made her desirable to me. Let's face it-she would always be desirable to me.

2\. She wasn't sleeping

This wasn't completely strange since I had firsthand knowledge about Elena's difficulty sleeping when she was upset, scared, or stressed.

3\. She was having trouble orgasming

That was probably the strangest of all. I didn't mean to brag (Oh, who am I kidding? I am the best), but she never left me without getting hers, only 3-4 times on a slow day. As I stressed before, I am an amazing lover. There is nothing else to it. No, it definitely wasn't me, so there had to be something going on with her? I needed help figuring this out, but who else could I talk to? Was I just supposed to go up to Stefan and say, 'Hey, I need some pointers on what your ex likes in the bedroom'? No. I was that cruel. Besides, Stefan would actually probably know, which I did not want to picture at all. Ick.

The guilt at actually getting to orgasm while Elena lay in bed, unable to sleep or find release, ate away at me, so I did the only thing I could to stop that feeling. Around my third bottle of bourbon, the guilt and hurt ebbed away, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Damon? Damon! What did you do to yourself?" I heard and struggled to open my eyes.

Even though my sight was blurry from my current drunkenness, I knew who had woken me up.

"Elena? Why are you here? Don't you have school tomorrow?" I asked, swatting away her hands that were running over my hair like she was petting some scared puppy.

"I'm worried about you," She murmured, ignoring all the signs that I wanted, needed, to be alone.

I sat up on the couch which made her sit back as well. The distance was good for my head as I began to compute what I wanted to say.

"You're worried about me? Elena, that doesn't even make sense! Look, I know you're trying to save face here, but I know more than you're telling me. You're not eating or sleeping. Now, you're not going to leave this house until you tell me what's up."

Suddenly, her face crumpled and sobs escaped her shaking body as she fell into my arms. Bewildered, I held her and stroked her back without a clue what to do.

"Hey, hey, look at me," I commanded gently, pulling back.

I wiped the tears from her stricken face and brushed the loose hairs behind her ears.

"I'm sorry. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me...I think it's the stress of locking up Stefan...it was just so hard to hear some of the things he said to me, no matter how true they were," She sighed sadly, tears escaping her closed lids.

"Bastard," I growled and moved to get up, but her tiny hand stopped me.

"Just-," Elena began and then stopped.

"What?"

"Could you just...love me now?" She asked so pitifully.

I was shocked at her choice of words, totally unprepared for when she chose to lean in and kiss me softly. With each kiss, I loosened up and kissed her back hungrily. Although I had literally just come from her house, I had to have her again. Stake my claim. Figure out this orgasm business once and for all. Gently, I laid her back on the couch, stroking her waist and thighs until she opened up for me. Wasting no time, I divested her of her clothes and propped one leg on the top of the couch while the other landed on the floor. Soon, I had her begging for me to make her come, and then the strangest thing of all happened-she came.

That's when I sat up in bed, gasping, and realized it had all been a dream.


	45. Chapter 45

Elena POV:

I hadn't seen Damon in a week. Although I could have probably handled the situation between us better, I was running so low on energy and motivation that I found it hard to even get out of bed in the morning. The worst part was that I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I hadn't ever been this catatonic before-not even when my parents died. Whenever I tried to eat, anything I put in my mouth tasted like burnt garbage, and even when I managed to consume something, it always came back up. The only thing I could hold down was water, and I was beginning to look very gaunt. I didn't sleep either. As time went on, I was running out of options about what to do. I wanted to tell Jenna so she could take me to a doctor, but for some reason, whenever I tried to bring it up, the words literally escaped me. All I could think about was how much I missed Stefan. How good he used to feel in my arms. I didn't want to get back together with him, but I just wanted to be with him. I mean, I did remember our sex, and it was good sex, I just felt no emotions attached to it. But I still wanted him, which was totally unfair to him and me. I was supposed to be getting over him! What was happening?!

In class, I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan. I would gaze longingly at his empty desk. The intense feeling of needing to be with him was only enhanced whenever I walked past his locker in the hall or heard someone say his name. Whenever I thought of him for too long a period, my body would literally start throbbing in arousal, and it took Herculean effort not go walk over to the Boardinghouse and have my way with him. So, imagine my surprise and shame when I came home from school one day and saw Stefan sitting on my bed.

"You're out," I exhaled loudly, but not in fear.

Having him so close to my bed after having all these thoughts...was not good.

"I'm sorry...I just had to see you. I felt-," He didn't finish before I leapt on him and attempted to kiss his breath away.

"Elena-Oh, god, that feels so-we shouldn't do this," He struggled to stop me.

It would have been amusing had I not been so needy as he literally began to untangle me from him. This need was driving me absolutely wild. It was making me do things I wouldn't normally do.

"Please, I need you," I spoke lowly, approaching him again.

"Elena-," Stefan attempted, but I took a running start and tackled him to my bed, which was quite a feat for a human girl and a vampire.

"Get naked or leave," I moaned as I kissed him like crazy.

Did I really just say that? Oh, my God. What was wrong with me? He rolled me over, and we tore at each other's clothes like two sex-crazed maniacs. When he tried to give me foreplay, I almost cried in exasperation. I needed him in me _now_. Despite my heart screaming out that this was completely wrong, my body was thanking me for finally giving in. Like the other night with Damon, my body readied itself for release, but this time, much to my relief and surprise, I clenched painfully around him, loudly pulling us both over the edge.

Then I woke up. And even though I knew it was a dream, I knew one thing for certain. I needed to sleep with Stefan Salvatore.


	46. Chapter 46

Damon POV:

Ever since I had woken up with the most painfully throbbing erection from the most arousing dream I had ever experienced (which is funny since I'd led quite an arousing life), I had felt incredibly angst-filled and desperate for something just out of my reach. Still, I had no idea where to go from there. It was one thing for Elena to have come to me compared to me going to her. It had been a week since I saw her, but it felt like a century. Staying away from her when I knew she was struggling was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Elena needed help, and it honestly killed me to think that I couldn't help her. Or that I was causing her pain. Although the dream felt years away, it carried some truth in the current moment. Stefan must have said something to her to make her act like this.

Even though I tried not listen in to what Stefan was saying to Elena down there, I just had to know-could she ever love me? What I heard shocked the hell out of me. Not only did Elena not know that I loved her, but she loved me. How could I have missed that? And that last part about being human and leaving us both alone...there was a lot of truth to that. It would be better for her safety, but Stefan and I had been selfish with her. We just couldn't leave her alone, and that put her and all her loved ones in danger. Maybe leaving her alone would be the most self-less option here. If I truly loved her, couldn't I let her go? Except I liked myself better when I was with her. The man I was becoming again...it was so far away, and I wanted it so badly. There was no way I could do it by myself. She would be the one who saved me. I was too weak to change this ancient heart alone.

With a heavy heart, I made my way to the Gilbert household, intent on letting Elena go. Letting my sensing drift, I found that no one was home, so I let myself in and opened Elena's door. No one there. She must be at school, I realized as I wandered around her room. Smirking, I began to rummage through her drawers. When I got to her most coveted drawer, I pulled out a lacy pair of red panties. Huh. I had seen these before. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Elena called me here to help her with Stefan. Around then, I was hardly welcome here. Then, I had never gotten to watch her as she knowingly slept with me in her bed, beside her. It almost seemed like a completely different Elena and Damon. My poor, brave girl. There was really no one like her.

"How did I know that you would choose to open that drawer?" I heard from behind me.

With a smile, I turned and saw her standing in the doorway, grinning gently at my antics. Raising my hands in innocence, I clutched the panties in my hand and waggled my eyebrows.

"You just left it unprotected so it was like you were asking for it," I defended.

Ouch. Wrong words, I realized right away as her entire face fell before she quickly collected herself again. As if I had never said anything. But that made me mad. I didn't want her to watch her reactions around me.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure?" She drawled lightly, kicking off her sneakers, shrugging her backpack off, and finally sitting down on her bed.

God, she was so young, and I forgot this all the time. It was so endearing...so Elena...

"You love me," I accidentally slipped out and then choked in surprise.

Woah! Shit, that was really not smooth. Much to her credit, Elena did not react but just blinked like she had seen this coming.

"I do," She sighed and then smiled faintly at me.

I didn't know why, but I had expected her to deny it. Maybe because I didn't believe that I deserved her love either.

"You...love me," I repeated in a daze.

"Did Stefan tell you that?"

"No...I mean, I heard. I'm sorry," I confessed to eavesdropping.

Again, much to my surprise, Elena took it in stride.

"I assumed," Elena laughed softly.

"And you're not mad?"

"No, but do you understand why I acted like I did? I never wanted to hurt you, Damon. I just needed...," She trailed off in thought.

"You needed time. Not me being an insensitive asshole about it," I answered for her.

At my answer, her gazed snapped up to mine, and her eyes glowed with happiness.

"Exactly," She whispered in surprise.

Slowly, I approached her and joined her on the bed.

"I love you, too," I told her seriously.

In response, she smiled grandly, showing all her perfectly straight, white teeth. I echoed her smile and similarly showed off my teeth.

"Fuck, I love you so much," I continued, offering her my hand.

When she took it, I pulled her into my lap, and she laughed like her age, which warmed my heart.

"What do we do now?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Shyly, Elena ducked down her head and kissed me tenderly, then suckled my neck viciously, causing me to jump in surprise. The boner in my pants appreciated the action also.

"We make love now, silly!" She told me seriously and then erupted into giggles.

"As you wish," I agreed, throwing her down onto the bed.

Elena seemed a bit shocked at first by my rough treatment, but as I stripped in front of her, her expression lit up as she wiggled out of her clothes. Unconsciously, I frowned at not being able to take her clothes off since my hands were busy taking off my own. Of course, she picked up on this.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing...it's just-I wanted to do that," I sighed melodramatically, which made her laugh.

"Sorry, baby, you were taking too long," She smirked, not looking sorry at all.

If it were anybody else, I would have been thoroughly creeped out seeing my exact smirk on somebody else, but it oddly suited her. Oh, the things I could show her. She was so young and innocent, mine to corrupt. Without my guidance, her hand trailed down her smooth, naked skin until she started rubbing at herself with a triumphant expression, keeping eye-contact with me the whole time. Her other hand went behind her head to make her seem like she was reclining leisurely.

"Oh, shit," I murmured lazily at the image I was getting.

"Feels good," The sexy little minx had the audacity to tell me as legs spread wider and her chest heaved a little heavier with light panting.

Unable to take any more teasing, I swooped down on her, and our lips smashed together, tongues stroking each others wildly. There was nothing sweet about what we were doing to each other even though I fully believed that we were making love. When I trailed kisses down her jaw line and then attempted to come back up to taste her lips, she greedily pushed my head down in an effort to get me to kiss here somewhere else. Laughing at her antics, I granted her wish and dove between her legs, consuming her, making her cry and squirm in pleasure. When she became nonverbal in her cries, I swelled even bigger in male pride. Still, while I could tell that she was thoroughly enjoying herself, I knew that she hadn't climaxed yet. I could have reaked havoc on her down there, but she was already sensitive so I opted to give her a breather while I decided which positions were the most female-orgasm friendly (since any position is male orgasm friendly).

But she was biting her lip and looping her long, naked legs behind my back while I towered over her on the bed. Her face was red from the exertion, and the roots of her hair were sweaty, and I had never loved anybody more than in this moment.

"How about this?" I gently pulled her legs from behind my back and crossed them in mid-air.

Checking that she was okay, I looked down and saw that she was embarrassed.

"Is this really necessary?" Elena grumbled cutely.

"Don't you trust me?" I answered cheerily, which shut her up.

Silently thanking the heavens for cheerleaders and flexibility, I urged her legs further up, one of my hands keeping her legs crossed while the other planted itself next to her head.

"I feel stupid, Damon," She whined quietly, but I silenced her with a kiss.

"You look _so_ fucking hot right now," I promised her with a smile.

The next position made her so much tighter which was a treat for me as well, but it made it that much harder to hold back from slamming into her repeatedly. Red-hot lust clouded my vision but I made sure to keep an eye on her face because she was such an open-book that if I made a wrong move, I could simply switch it up and not subject her to any unpleasant sexing. So far, she liked it, a lot.

"Let's...bookmark...this one...for...next time," She panted gleefully.

Nodding, I continued to thrust into her, causing the bed to fully retract and then slam back into the wall. Switching between pulling all the way out and then entering her all the way and drilling her continuously, all the signs were there that I was driving her crazy with my moves. Although her insides were clenching around me deliciously, she still didn't come, which in turn, was driving me crazy and not in a good way.

"Wait, new idea," I breathed, not giving her a chance to respond.

I sat up, almost but not removing myself from inside her, uncrossed her legs and flipped her onto her stomach. Lowly and with a growl, I held back my big O as the sensation of twisting her on my dick was too pleasurable to ignore. When I didn't start moving right away, she noticed.

"What's up? I wasn't complaining about that last one."

"You'll like this too, I promise," I vowed.

I had her lay down fully on her stomach and similarly laid down fully on top of her.

"I'm not crushing you, right?" I asked sweetly and then cringed.

If you had asked me ten years ago if I would worry about a woman's comfort level during sex, I would have laughed. And then ate you.

"No, not at all," She answered with a muffled voice, and I laughed when I realized that her face was basically smushed into her pillow.

Reaching in front of her, I removed the pillow, and she looked up at me gratefully and then questioningly when I placed it underneath her downturned pelvis.

"It'll help," I reminded her gently, and she blushed.

"I'm sorry," She whispered quietly.

"About what?" I laughed, brushing her hair off her back.

"Not being able to...I don't know what's wrong with me-," Elena began worriedly.

"Shh. We'll fix it. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," She whispered and leaned up to kiss me.

I returned the kiss even though it was awkward considering our positions.

"Okay." I whispered back.

Since she wasn't responding to the fast and hard (like she usually did), I decided maybe slow and tender was going to get her there. I peppered her neck and the side of her upturned face with kisses as I jostled the bed as little as I could with my fluid stroking. I took her hands and interlaced our fingers above her head to show her that I was here with her and because it was good leverage. Despite telling myself not to be frustrated with her, I huffed in aggravation when there were still no earth-shattering spasms but still all the present signs that she was liking what I was giving her. Just as I was about to change up the positioning again, she grabbing my hand, stopping me. Looking back at me, her face was resolute.

"Wait, I'm almost there," She gasped, bucking up against me.

"Really?" I inquired suspiciously because it did not feel that way to me.

"Yes, please, just keep going."

Confused but wanting to satisfy her, I drove into her from behind, surprised beyond relief when Elena let out an unmistakably hoarse noise of pleasure as her walls clenched me. I had no choice but to unload since I'd been hard for her nearly all day, and waiting this long literally hurt my balls. Falling onto my back, I grabbed for her, but she slid out of bed with a sheepish smile.

"I'm sweaty. I'm going shower," She excused lightly and then slid into the bathroom.

Immediately, the water started, and I heard her step into the shower. As she washed up, I furrowed my brow in anger and confusion at what had just occurred. Elena had tricked me. She knew, and now I knew, but she probably thought she had fooled me, which hurt the most. She never came. Elena had faked it.


	47. Chapter 47

Damon POV

My jaw muscles were nearly sore from all the flexing it was doing while I waited for Elena to finish her shower. It was physically tiring to not go bursting in there like an absolute psycho and ask her what the fuck she thought she was trying to pull on me? On someone who knew her body probably better than she knew it herself? It was a mockery of the truthfulness we'd vowed to have in our relationship. And now she says she loves me? How can you lie to someone so easily and then turn around and swear you love them? What the fuck was she thinking? I scoffed aloud to myself at the ridiculousness of it.

A part of me urged myself to stay calm and patient with her. _She was probably just embarrassed_ , I reminded myself. _She didn't mean to really hurt your feelings. Stay cool and let her explain herself. But do not leave!_ With deep breathing, I brought myself down to a logical mind, but the longer that she took in there made my anger rise again. Now, she was just being childish to evade me. If she couldn't be an adult about this, then neither could I. Just as the door opened, my nostrils flared, and my eyes flew up to meet her collected expression.

"Hey," Elena greeted me cheerily, totally oblivious to the fact that I was seething inside.

"Hey," I answered, trying to gauge how to bring this up without losing my mind and scaring her.

Looking away from the adorable sight of her in nothing but her fluffy pink towel, I rubbed my jaw and calmed myself. Unfortunately, Elena picked up on my stormy mood and sat next to me, lying her little hand on my sheet-covered leg.

"You okay?" She asked sweetly, which made my temper flare.

"I just thought...we weren't lying to each other anymore," I sneered which made Elena rear back like I slapped her.

"Excuse me?" She had the audacity to act innocent.

"I know, Elena. Why did you think you could _possibly_ fake something like that with me?" I threw back at her ruthlessly.

Shifting away from me, she gathered herself for an argument and tried to suck in her bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

"I don't know-," She began bravely.

"Bullshit! You're a shit actor at best so don't act like you really don't know what I'm talking about!" I exploded, waving my hands wildly.

Immediately, Elena popped up with her hand clutching her towel tightly to herself and gathered my clothes.

"What are you doing?" I laughed dryly, not understanding why cleaning up her room was really necessary during the middle of this conversation.

As if to answer me, she madly flung the clothes at me and shrieked,

"Get out! Get out of my room right now!"

Dodging the hurtling shoe that was aimed right at my head, I gaped at her.

"We're in the middle of something right now. Hey!" I gasped as I dodged another shoe.

Naked, I scrambled out of her bed and grabbed the nearest item of clothing to cover myself (a crop-top, aka not that much material) and defend my unmentionables from any attack.

"I don't want to talk about this, and you started screaming at me first!" She answered angrily, her face turning red with exertion.

She had a point. I did start this. I sighed, but I had riled both of us up without just cause.

"Look-," I started, but the opening of another door distracted both Elena and me.

"Elena? Are you okay? I heard-," Jeremy inquired, peeking into the mess of a room.

Like deer in headlights, neither one of us did anything to explain the situation, so Jeremy looked to Elena who uttered,

"...uh, well you've met Damon, right?"

I waved sassily and motioned for him to get lost while I was in such a state of undress.

"Get lost," I deadpanned, and when Elena nodded her consent, Jeremy closed the door, probably heading off to bleach his eyes of what he'd just seen.

This interruption had derailed my argument, and I was quickly losing steam to fuel my anger, which was quickly becoming replaced with guilt for starting the argument and pity for Elena who was actually the victim of the situation.

"Can we talk, please?" I sighed deeply, begging her with my eyes.

She nodded curtly but did not sit down on the bed which did not signal her openness to being lectured right that second.

"I know you faked it," I started off and winced at my bluntness.

"Faked what?"

"Your orgasm."

At my accusation, she tensed and then deflated in defeat.

"There's no way you can tell that," Elena returned weakly.

"You can almost always tell if you're a guy, and if you're me, I always 100% know. There's no way to trick someone as old and experienced as me," I explained gently.

Elena sank to the bed, far from me, but still on the bed. I sat down, too, but gave her distance.

"I tried," She protested quietly, her eyes filling with tears.

I scooted closer to her and went to put my arm around her, but she flinched away. Ouch.

"Oh, baby, I know. It's not your fault."

"Then why can't I? What's wrong with me?" She cried in exasperation.

I sat for a moment, pondering the possibilities. I did have a few ideas...

"Maybe Stefan-," I voiced my thoughts.

"Okay, stop! Not everything has to be a competition with your brother," She snapped sharply, and the green-eyed monster leapt up at her defense of him.

"Well, what if he said something to you, and you-,"

"Maybe it's you, Damon. Maybe you just don't do it for me anymore," Elena scoffed and then grimaced at her comment.

I turned away to hide how badly that wounded me and began to redress hastily.

"Whatever. Figure it out yourself then," I announced, pulling on my boots.

"I'm sorry, it's just...he's so...," She struggled.

Right before I left via her open window, I turned back to her.

"Do you still love him?"

"What? No! Of course not," She answered immediately, much to my relief.

"But you want him?"

The spike in her heartbeat was all the answer that I needed.

"Damon!" I heard before exiting into the night.

History was repeating itself it seemed.


	48. Chapter 48

Elena POV:

Finally, it was the weekend, and I had never felt so horrible before. I loved Damon. I could admit it to myself, to Stefan. It was easy now. But I couldn't stop hurting him. And he was way too sensitive about me having anything to do with Stefan. Could I blame him, though? I'd basically almost confessed to him that I wanted Stefan, too. That had to be some parting blow. I guess I didn't grudge him for needing space and time to heal. It was pretty fucked up to say the least. It was like I needed something else though, and I was confused as to what I needed. _Besides Stefan...underneath you...above you..._

No matter what I did, all my thoughts came back to Stefan. Whenever I thought of him (and I did this a lot), it felt like my whole body would erupt into an inferno. I felt like one of those love-sick character tropes who was so one-dimensional that all they could do was lust because that was their primary emotion. As if to answer my inward prayers, Stefan had recovered enough to come back to school. And since he was always my partner for history class, we were automatically paired up for a huge project that accounted for 20% of our grade. Because irony is no joke, our topic was to critically analyze the shift in the British aristocracy when Prince Edward abdicated his throne for Wallace Simpson. I didn't think it was funny, but Bonnie and Caroline were sure having a hoot at our expense.

When the bell rang, I went to collect my books. Uneasiness was sloshing around in my stomach like little stones caught in a river's current. Sighing, I shut my locker to find Stefan directly behind it.

"Gah!" I gasped, jumping despite myself.

Several people turned in the hallway to smirk at my outburst before continuing on.

"I'm sorry," Stefan apologized before stooping to pick up my books that I dropped when I jumped.

Clearing my throat, I nodded and gave him a shy smile before accepting my books back.

"It's okay. So, we should probably work on each of our parts for the project this weekend if we want to get ahead of it," I mentioned, trying to keep our relationship platonic and professional.

Stefan nodded to himself before stopping, making me stop with him.

"Actually, I have some journals written around that time. Though my commentary was mostly personal, I believe there could be some social commentaries about the whole Wallace Simpson incident in there, too," He spoke cautiously.

"That's a really good idea," I congratulated him, placing my hand on his bicep, which flexed under my sudden touch.

At his muscle's movement, my libido flared into a frenzy, and I was momentarily stunned at my lust for him. All I wanted to do was push him up against the lockers and suck on his big, hot-

"Elena?"

"Huh?"

"It was like you kind of went away there for a second. Did you hear what I said?"

Shaking my head to signal 'no' and to clear the fog, Stefan repeated,

"Do you want to work on the project at the boardinghouse tonight?"

"Yeah," I answered dreamily before actually realizing I had accepted.

With a boy-ish grin, Stefan just nodded and left with a brief,

"I'll see you after school, then."

 _After school, then_ , I repeated to myself internally. Why did I accept? I would be encroaching on Damon's space WITH STEFAN! If there was ever a more threatening thing to be doing to Damon's ego, it would be this. I drove home in a trance, thinking of all the ways I could escape these plans. Because once I was over there, I would be alone with Stefan, possibly...I didn't trust myself to be alone with him, especially with all these thoughts I was having about him...and me...

"Well, you held out longer than I thought you would," I heard behind me.

Whirling around, I found myself, no, Katherine, lounging on the seat at my window. She shot up and charged directly at me as I inhaled a large breath of air so I could scream.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," She advised before calmly walking around my room, surveying it.

"Cute," She murmured to herself after fingering the pink lace of my pillowcase.

"What are you doing here?" I bravely asked, my heart hammering painfully fast because my body already knew that just being in her presence was dangerous.

"Because tonight is the night, my dear!" She announced, approaching me again.

Unconsciously, I leaned back but met the hard surface of my wall instead of my open door. When she was but a whisper away from me, she grabbed my face, angling my eyes to peer deep into hers.

"Tonight, you will seduce Stefan Salvatore," Katherine spoke sternly.

Still, I struggled.

"I don't want to," I fought with futility.

"Tonight...or little brother Jeremy gets a visit from me," She promised before disappearing in a gust of wind.


	49. Chapter 49

Elena POV:

"Stefan? Are you home?" I called as I stepped into the boardinghouse.

It was eerily quiet and gave me the creeps until I saw that Stefan had lit lanterns in the shape of a trail, straight to their library. Once I entered, it became apparent that Stefan had turned the library into a study nook for us. It was messy, with books and papers strewn everywhere. Apparently not hearing me, Stefan was sitting in the midst of all this, studying something intently.

"Stefan?" I called again, softly, and his head lifted.

"Oh, hey. I didn't hear you come in," He excused shyly, gesturing to all the mess.

I smiled in return because I honestly had the best history project partner. I bet Stefan knew more about this subject than our own teacher did. Sitting down, Stefan immediately handed me a book and said,

"Let's get to it."

And get to it we did. For hours, we studied and outlined and discussed all we could find in his journals and books. Our research was abundantly helpful, and by the end of the night, most of the project was actually finished. The only thing left to do was to collectively pool our writing and then polish it before turning it in.

"Thank you so much, Stefan. I really don't know how anyone else could top you in terms of history resources," I joked, nudging him.

In reply, he drew out a book that I was sitting under, making me fall back into him.

"Hey!" I laughed, shoving him down, but he just played along and let me wrestle him.

"No one injuries me without impunity," Stefan warned before tickling me mercilessly.

"You sound like Damon," I giggled in reply.

Seeing Stefan's care-free smile dropped felt like a brick being thrown at my face.

"Shit. Sorry," I whispered, pushing myself away from him. Giving us distance.

"No, it's okay. I just need time to accept it," he sighed and then gave me a wry grin.

"You know, he's not here tonight," He told me evilly.

"So?" I asked, ignoring the pang in my chest.

"His alcohol is here."

"Say no more!" I laughed and scrambled up, racing Stefan to the alcohol.

Somehow, we ended up back in Stefan's room, drinking shots on his bed, laughing our asses off. I had cut myself off awhile back because I would have literally died if I drank as much as Stefan, but Stefan had continued and was currently chugging the bourbon like it was orange juice. As he finished the bottle, I cheered him on. Reaching over him, I grabbed the empty bottle away and flung it down, breaking it with a loud crash.

"You'll pay for that!" Stefan playfully threatened, grabbing me and dragging me across the bed.

I merely laughed and let him drag me. When I was underneath him, I swallowed heavily at our proximity. Stefan, however, looked unaffected by our closeness as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Before I could react, Stefan was up and off me, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking sullen. I scooted over and leaned on him, looking up at him from his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I thought I could make these feelings go away, but they won't," He sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and suddenly tugged on his hands.

When he responded and his face was turned towards me, I grabbed it and kissed him soundly on the mouth, which made his flinch and rear back.

"What are you doing?" He panted, crawling back to get away from me.

The logical part of me was gone. Therefore, I crawled after him and on top of him, despite his struggle to push me away, but he was being too gentle, and I was overcompensating my strength because of the alcohol.

"Don't you want this? I thought you loved me," I purred, and in the back of my mind, I blanched at my words.

Who was this speaking? I would have never said this to Stefan if I were not under some other influence.

"Elena, I can't-," He refused, but I smashed my mouth back on his, trying to pry his lips open so I could feed him my tongue.

"Please, I want you. So much," I begged breathlessly, sitting up to pull my sweatshirt and shirt over my head together.

When I went to unstrap my bra, Stefan bolted upright to stop my fingers but unconsciously brought his body against mine. I took this advantage to pull him shirt over his head and run my fingers down his chest.

"Have me. One more time," my voice goaded as I leaned back to look into his conflicted eyes.

My words seemed to break him of his hesitation, and he slammed me back onto the bed, hungrily kisses me and running his hands all over my body. My hips lurched up and bumped against him as we hastily stripped each other. The feeling of his naked muscles caressing my soft curves made me delirious in the head. Otherwise, why would I be doing this?

Somehow, I knew that I would finally get my orgasm if I just continued. Just a little further...

"Wait," I heard Stefan pant before he pulled back with a puzzled expression.

"What?"

"I smell...," He trailed off, bringing his hand out from beneath my underwear and lifting it to his eye-level.

In the light, his fingers glistened red like liquid rubies, and it mesmerized me.

"It's okay, it's just-," I teased, grabbing onto his hand, but Stefan leapt back as if I had stung him.

He kept shaking his head and looking at his fingers like he couldn't believe what was on them. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal to him. I'd had sex with Damon countless times on my period, and we'd both loved it.

"I can't, Elena. The blood-," Stefan sputtered before escaping into the bathroom and shutting the door.

When I heard the locks fall into place, I burst into tears at his rejection. Although I knew that he wasn't under control around my blood, I still felt like this was a personal attack. Sniffling, I jumped out of bed and began to redress quickly, wanting to be away from my humiliation immediately. I took the steps two at a time but skidded to a stop when I saw someone facing the fireplace.

Damon.

"He was never one for such kinky things. You, on the other hand..." He trailed off, and I could hear the desolation and despair in his voice.

It sliced me to the bone and nearly bowled me over with its intensity. He turned and flashed his wet eyes at me.

"Damon-," I tried.

"Don't! I heard everything. You stupid, stupid girl," He growled, walking unsteadily towards me, like he was trying to hold himself back.

I turned to flee, but his grip immediately pulled me back.

"Why did you do that? Was my love not enough for you?" He whispered, his breath washing over my face, scalding me with hatred.

When I went to answer him, I was left gapping like a beached fish. I had no answer. I really had no idea why I had done that. I didn't want to, but I had to for some reason...It was like I had no free-will.

"I had to," I eventually spoke, but my voice was like an automaton.

Damon watched as I attempted to explain myself but I was literally unable to form words other than those three.

"I had to," I repeated, falling back out of Damon's grip and holding my head like it was about to explode.

Even though Damon was livid moments before, he was now watching me with confusion as I melted down before his eyes.

"I tried not to, but I had to," I cried, dragging my hands through my hair in desperation.

Suddenly, he grabbed me, and I screamed, but he had not grabbed me in anger. Now, he looked terrified as he brought me close, looking into my eyes and checking my outfit.

"Elena, where is your necklace?" He realized with horror, releasing me.

"I had to," I repeated, falling to my knees.

There was silence before Damon uttered in a cold voice,

"You've been compelled."


	50. Chapter 50

Elena POV:

There was never a more desirable moment for the ground to swallow me up than in this instance. Here I was, sitting in the den of the Salvatore boardinghouse with my ex-boyfriend and my current...well, I didn't know, but I guess lover? After breaking down in front of Damon, he gathered me up and positioned me on the couch, promising me that he would figure this out and that I would be okay. Then, much to my humiliation, he retrieved Stefan from his bathroom where he was likely washing the period blood off his fingers and similarly having a meltdown about drinking human blood. Now, the three of us were sitting in the den. Well, Stefan and I were sitting (very far apart) while Damon paced furiously.

"That bitch is dead," He muttered before scoffing and walking over to his now empty alcohol collection.

Even though there was no alcohol left, he reached for it like an instinct and even got as far as holding his drinking glass before realizing his mistake. Stefan and I withered with guilt and sunk back into the couch like two naughty school children. Much to his credit, Damon tensed his jaw and sighed in aggravation but did not otherwise comment on our infantile use of his alcohol. His precious alcohol.

"The most important thing to remember is that Katherine did not kill her, which means that she could be safe for now and not the intended target," Stefan suddenly spoke and scooted to the seat of his chair, his expression beseeching Damon's.

"Thank you, Boy Wonder," Damon conceded snidely, "I can't believe she's been compelled this whole time and I didn't notice."

"How are you so sure that she's been compelled?" Stefan argued, and I winced at his hopefulness.

I pleaded with my eyes to Damon to not make a remark, but of course he had to.

"Why else do you think she was so desperate to get you into her pants again?" Damon barked out tersely with a thin smile.

"Damon-," I interjected.

"Seeing as I've been in those pants before, I don't think it's that far from the realm of plausibility," Stefan countered, standing up.

I watched helplessly as they squared off. Even though this conversation was about me, it almost felt too personal to be present for these inner workings of their minds.

"Guys, this isn't helping anything," I offered softly, which surprisingly did the trick.

They separated but both stayed standing with tensed shoulders, ready to spring into a fight at any moment.

"First thing's first-Elena needs more vervain," Stefan added quietly, and Damon nodded much to my relief.

"Of course. I'll get some right away," He noted with a subtle glance at me.

"Elena, do you remember the exact words of the compulsion?" Stefan asked, turning to me.

My face reddened immediately as Damon nodded for me to continue.

"To...seduce Stefan Salvatore...tonight," I finished with my eyes firmly placed on my feet to avoid their stares.

"Why Stefan?" Damon urged me to continue.

If it were even possible, my cheeks continued to redden.

"I don't know...all she said was I had to seduce him or I couldn't-," I stopped abruptly before I revealed too much.

"Or you couldn't what?" Stefan inquired.

I looked at Damon helplessly and with meaning, and I knew the moment that it clicked for me because his face grew grey with shock and flushed with embarrassment.

"Oh," He murmured, his anger becoming replaced with confusion and disbelief.

"All this time, when you couldn't...?" He asked me gently, sitting down next to me and taking my hands.

I nodded shyly and tried to turn my head from him, but his fingers guided my face back towards his.

"I'm so sorry about what I said. I had no idea," He apologized, and I gripped his fingers more tightly.

"It's okay," I promised, kissing his hands.

"Wait, what couldn't you do?" Stefan interrupted our sweet moment.

Neither of us spoke, which made Stefan become more suspicious.

"Well...?"

"She couldn't...finish," Damon stated more calmly than I thought he would.

Unable to take the embarrassment, I hid my face in my hands while Damon's hand rubbed my back in support.

"Finish what?" Stefan probed further, causing me to groan and Damon to clench his teeth.

"To climax, Stefan. Something you've probably also had a problem with in the past," Damon remarked for which I immediately elbowed him to behave.

"Oh...Elena, I'm...sorry," Stefan sputtered awkwardly, but I waved him off, not wanting to dwell on this particular part of the conversation anymore.

"So she must know you and Elena are together. My guess is she's not happy," Stefan continued to ponder aloud.

"I don't give a fuck if she's happy. I want her dead!" Damon spat from beside me.

"You didn't want her dead a couple months ago," Stefan reminded him, causing Damon to jump to his feet.

I shot to my feet also and grabbed Damon's arm to remind him that I was still here and not to get mad.

"Things have changed," Damon answered with coiling muscles rippling through his arm where he was nearly flexing my hand off his bicep.

"Yeah, you stole my girlfriend is what changed," Stefan huffed indignantly, turning his back for a moment.

"Damon!" I pulled him back as soon as he moved towards Stefan, and thankfully, he stayed back and let me hang off his arm.

"I stole your girlfriend? Well, you stole mine first!" Damon shouted back, shrugging me off his arm and moving towards Stefan.

"Hey!" I yelled when Damon roughly shoved Stefan backwards, knocking over the empty shelf of alcohol as well.

I watched with increasing worry as the bottles smashed onto the ground, launching pieces of glass in several directions like horizontal rain.

"Well, your first girlfriend is back, so go get her and take her out of our lives!" Stefan growled and shoved at Damon.

"And leave Elena here with a rapist? I don't think so," Damon laughed and threw Stefan across the room.

When he hit the wall with a slam, I screamed but went unheard.

"You know, you're really batting 2 for 2 here, Stef," Damon goaded, striding towards where Stefan was struggling to get up.

I wanted to look away, but I knew that if I left now, one of them could be dead, and I would never get to say goodbye.

"Please! Stop!" I cried, rushing towards them.

"What are you saying?" Stefan whispered, wiping the blood from his face.

"What I'm saying is that I never had to compel her to fuck me. Or force her when she said 'no'," Damon hissed, getting into Stefan's face.

Like a limp doll, Damon hauled Stefan up by his t-shirt and prepared to throw him again.

"No! Damon! Please," I yelled and latched onto Stefan's nearly unconscious body, thus insuring his safety.

Damon would never risk taking a hit at Stefan if my safety were also in danger. Seeing my action and its implications, Damon stepped back and rubbed his face in frustration.

"Okay, I'm okay now," He promised and stepped back until he was falling back onto the couch.

I let go of Stefan and followed him over, sitting beside him closely. Groaning loudly, Stefan sat up and rubbed his head before putting his face into his hands.

"Elena knows I'm sorry...for what I did, so why can't you forgive me?" Stefan lifted his head to speak.

At first, I thought he was talking to me, but he was actually talking to Damon.

"Once we've killed Katherine and ensured Elena's safety...I want you gone," Damon decided solemnly.

"No-," I tried, but Stefan waved me off as he got to his feet and dusted himself off.

"I've caused enough damage. After this is done, I'll go."


	51. Chapter 51

Elena POV:

"Aaaah, that's so-uuuuuuuuuuh, yes, Damon, God!" I panted, wildly gripping the headboard as Damon's mouth alternated between sucking on either of my lips and blowing on my exposed flesh.

Even though we still hadn't been able to break Katherine's compulsion and therefore not able to get me to orgasm, Damon had insisted on doing this. Besides, he had some reason for it.

"Yummy," He grinned, looking up at me with his blood-stained face.

Thankfully, we had done this enough times where it didn't freak me out as much to look down and see Damon's face covered in my period blood.

"You're such a freak," I joked, running my bare leg up and down his naked back.

"You love it."

He made a disturbing slurping noise, which caused me to laugh and smack at the top of his head.

"What about you? Let me suck you," I cooed, reaching for his manhood.

Slapping my hand aside, he tssk'ed at me.

"Nah uh, none for me if there are none for you," He reminded me, referring to my lack of orgasms.

For some reason, Damon had decided to forgo his orgasms until I wasn't under compulsion anymore. So we would be a united front and handle this problem with each party being equally affected.

"Now, lay back like a good girl and let me enjoy my lunch, please," Damon chided and nodded for me to lay back on my pillows.

"Fine," I huffed dramatically and laid back down.

Although it seemed as though I would have no more trouble in navigating my relationship with Damon after the compulsion incident, I knew there was still a lot ahead of us. Like, killing Katherine. That would not be easy-and it would take a toll on Damon, even though he claimed not to love her anymore. Still, killing your ex-girlfriend is a little extreme, despite her being dangerous to me and all my loved ones. Maybe Stefan could just take one for the team and go off into the sunset with Katherine?

"What are you thinking about?"

"Katherine," I answered softly, still thinking about all the possibilities.

My answer made Damon pause in confusion and then stop all activity down there which kind of distressed me. My clitoris was so distended to the point where it was almost painful to not be touching it.

"No, don't stop," I whined, which made Damon laugh.

"Later. Tell me what you're worried about," He ordered gently.

Despite his sincerity, I burst out laughing, causing him to frown deeply.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry, but I cannot take you seriously with all that on your face!" I giggled.

His frown swiftly turned into an evil smirk as a twinkle appeared in his eyes.

"Where? Here?" He guessed, stroking his face and getting blood all over his hands.

"Damon! Ew! Watch your hands-my covers!" I exclaimed, trying to protect my covers from getting dirty.

"Looks like you have some, too," He laughed, gesturing to my chin.

"What? Where?"

"Here," He confided, smearing his hand all along my cheek.

"Damon! What the fuck!" I gasped and tried to stay angry but all I could do was laugh at the absurdity of it.

Damon merely laughed and blocked my oncoming attacks with my fists.

"Elena?" I heard outside my door.

The knob twisted, and my heart leapt in my throat. Not again!

"Bathroom! And clean yourself up while you're in there!" I hissed at Damon who bolted into the bathroom just as Jeremy stepped into my room.

"Hey, Jer. What's up?" I inquired, pulling my covers around me to prevent any nudity from being seen.

"I was just wondering...whether you've given your assignment any more thought."

"What? What assignment?" I chuckled nervously, sitting up a little.

Jeremy came and sat down on my bed, facing away from me, his expression showing nothing but numbed calmness.

"From Katherine," He answered tonelessly, grabbing something from his pocket but shielding it from my view.

I shot a desperate look to the bathroom where I hoped Damon was hearing this too. My spine was prickling with dread, and my stomach felt like it had fallen out my body.

"Jer?" I asked gently, reaching for his shoulder.

But when he turned to me, I saw that he was holding a small pocketknife. Thinking that he had been compelled to stab me, I threw my arms up to defend myself and let out a sharp "no!". The next few seconds felt like a slow motion ticking of the loudest grandfather clock. Hearing my noise of distress, Damon launched out of the bathroom. I was crouched on my bed because I thought Jeremy was going to stab me. Jeremy's arm arched into the air, but instead of my skin, the knife was imbedded into Jeremy's neck. Just as Damon was gathering me into his arms, Jeremy fell to the ground with a gurgle of blood in his mouth.

"Elena, go home, there's nothing else you can do here," I heard from behind me.

At this point, I wasn't really processing any more words or actions. I was numb, walking around like a possessed person.

 _'Your assignment. Your assignment.'_ Kept echoing in my head, not giving any empty space for other thoughts.

Momentarily, I was startled out of my thoughts after bumping into someone who held me still just as I moved to continue my pacing. I had to keep moving or otherwise Jeremy would die. Something horrible always happened while you were standing still. Sleeping. Or sitting down.

"He's going to be alright, Elena. You need to sleep now," Damon whispered in my ear, but instead of giving me chills or pulses of electricity, I felt nothing.

"No," I answered quietly, trying to loosen myself from his grasp.

"She's in shock," I heard Stefan tell Damon.

"No shit, she's in shock! Now go watch Jeremy, and I'll stay with her," Damon barked, not paying attention to my efforts to escape his hold.

"Damon, she's losing it. Let her go," Stefan ordered sternly, reaching for me.

Realizing that I was starting to make a scene, Damon let go, and I paced forwards with both brothers following me, whispering behind me.

"Maybe she needs some water."

"She needs fucking therapy, Stefan, not water."

"Well, maybe if you didn't smother her so much, trying to project your feelings onto her, she wouldn't-."

"Maybe you need a nice, hot stake shoved up your-."

"Jeremy," I whimpered before falling over, bracing myself on my hands and knees.

"Hey, you're okay, I've got you," Damon insisted, pulling me back onto my feet.

It was just then that I realized Stefan was there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him in a daze.

Looking at Damon who shrugged, Stefan said,

"I heard about Jeremy. I'm here to protect him."

I nodded and rubbed my hands up my arms, warming myself. Without looking at either brother, I continued my walk until I heard my name being called near Jeremy's room.

"Miss Gilbert? Are you the legal guardian of Jeremy Gilbert?" the doctor asked, making notes on his clipboard.

"Uh, no, but our guardian, Jenna, is coming now. She's been on the campus," I answered shakily.

Thankfully, Damon had called Jenna for me because apparently I wasn't speaking coherently after "the accident." My throat was still aching, and my ears were still ringing from my terrified screams.

"Well, he can see you now, if you want to," the doctor informed me, strolling away casually.

Again, my world tilted on its axis as I ran to Jeremy's room, dodging all the medical equipment so I could get as close as possible to him. He was blessedly okay but looked drugged from all the medicine. I knew from experience that he would be crashing into a coma-like sleep at any moment. The bandage on his neck looked pristine but grew vaguely tinted with the hint of bleeding underneath.

"Elena?" He asked groggily.

"Yes, Jer! Oh, my God. I'd thought I lost you," I sobbed, throwing myself onto him, causing a groan of pain and my gasp of surprise.

"Shit, I'm sorry! Oh, God!" I bawled, curling my fingers around Jeremy's limp hand.

"Hey, hey, I'm okay. I don't know what happened...will you tell me?" He requested, and for a moment, I was transported to a lifetime when Jer was asking me what 'bird and bees' meant and if he could play with my toys.

"Yes, of course. Tomorrow," I promised, stroking his hair with my unoccupied hand.

"Is that my blood?" Jeremy suddenly spoke, lifting his hand and pointing to my cheek, where a small blood smear was still visible from this afternoon.

Immediately, my face flooded in embarrassment, and my hand covered the offending spot as if I could make it disappear.

"Oh, no, it's mine. Don't worry about it."

"Are you hurt? Oh, God, did I hurt you too?" He gasped and struggled to sit up, looking miserable and worried.

"No, no, Jer. It's...period blood. Seriously," I choked out and then laughed.

Jeremy laughed with me, nearly shaking the hospital bed.

"Why do you have period blood on your face?" He laughed, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Um...," I began and made the mistake of looking up and making eye-contact with Damon through the window.

Looking back at Jeremy, I saw him grimace and then smirk.

"Just kidding. I don't want to know anymore."

"That's very wise of you," I commended him before chatting some more about trivial things.

Soon, Jenna arrived, and she wanted to spend time with Jeremy, so I left the room but stayed nearby. Slumping into a nearby chair, I sighed and ran my hands over my face. My skin was beginning to take on a gray hue from exhaustion. Silently, Damon sat beside me and took my hand, and Stefan sat down opposite of us.

"We need to kill Katherine," I spoke in a gravely voice that left no room for arguments.

Both of the brothers nodded their agreement.

"Tonight."


	52. Chapter 52

Damon POV:

My face grew tight with hatred for that bitch, Katherine, who had caused Elena and all her loved ones so much pain.

"Tonight," Elena promised in a deadly quiet tone, and it was sick of me, but it made my dick go half-mast at her blood-thirstiness.

"Yes," I uttered, still trying to convince my dick to behave itself.

We both looked at Stefan who had yet to give his opinion. With a sigh, he leaned forward, looking around, before resting his chin in his hands thoughtfully.

"We have no plan," Stefan spoke lowly, looking between us.

"Here's a plan-I find her and rip her into edible-sized pieces and cure world hunger," I growled, grabbing Elena's hand protectively to let her know that I was on her side.

"If we go after her blindly, with guns blazing, she will see it coming from a mile away," Stefan countered more calmly than expected.

I glared at him thoroughly to let him know that I didn't appreciate him second-guessing my girlfriend when she wanted to do something, but Elena interrupted me.

"Stefan's right, Damon. We have to be smart about this," She decided, gently squeezing my hand to take away some of the pain of being embarrassed in front of her former soul mate.

Even though I was annoyed and frankly feeling rather vengeful at being reproached by Elena taking Stefan's side in front of me, I breathed evenly and dropped back in my seat like I didn't care. This issue was bigger than whatever twisted love orgy was happening at the moment.

"So, we make a plan. Then we kill her," I suggested drearily, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

I felt another squeeze on my hand and realized that Elena wanted me to tone it down, but when I looked at her for reassurance, she was staring straight at Stefan, which actually did not reassure me at all.

"We'll need Stefan's help," Elena whispered, looking over at me apologetically.

I knew this would suck for me, somehow. I felt the hammer preparing itself just before the fatal blow came.

"How?"

"I think Elena wants to continue with Katherine's original plan," Stefan spoke with clarity, and I realized that he knew exactly what my girlfriend was thinking when I was still in the dark about everything.

"Like hell! No way!" I scoffed, shaking Elena's hand off of mine.

"Damon, if we pretend I'm still compelled, then Katherine will assume nothing's wrong," Elena insisted, trying to touch my bicep soothingly, but I swatted her hand away.

"You'd just love that, wouldn't you, Stefan? You'll finally get her back in your bed," I sneered, flashing my fangs at Stefan in warning.

"Is your pride worth more than her safety?" Stefan snapped, leaning even closer and invading my space.

"Guys! We're in a hospital! Now, cool down or go home and fight there. I'm done with the drama," Elena exploded, standing up and angrily striding away, likely to go back to Jeremy.

Instead of following her, I pushed Stefan back as he went to follow her. Surprisingly, he seemed more in control than me, possibly because I was way angrier than he was.

"I'm not trying to sabotage your relationship," Stefan sighed, stepping back and giving me space.

"That's not what it seems like," I growled, stepping forwards.

When we were inches from each other, I let out a deep growl and puffed out my chest to let Stefan know that I was threatened. Much to his credit, he let his head fall to his chest in defeat, so I stepped back. Finally feeling like I could think, I ran my hands through my hair in desperation. That's great. I had pissed off Elena who was already on the verge of a mental breakdown after witnessing her only brother stab himself in the neck in front of her. I was just so afraid to lose her...

"Are you sure Elena didn't get injured?" Stefan inquired softly, trying not to send me into a spiral of rage.

"Yes, I already checked," I replied with a clipped voice.

How could he think I could be so careless about her safety? Even as Jeremy was dying on the plush carpet of her bedroom and Elena screaming her goddamn head off, I was frantically checking and then rechecking her for any injuries from the pocket knife.

"There was blood on her face, though, and I thought-,"

I nearly threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. Obviously Stefan had not been listening to Jeremy and Elena's earlier conversation. For fuck's sake! How many times did we need to cover this? Elena and I were sexually active and kinky as hell! It wasn't a big deal!

"It's period blood, brother," I explained with a clenched jaw and raised eyebrows.

His face morphed into confusion and then indignation.

"On her face? What is wrong with you?" He accused in genuine disgust.

Despite his squeamishness, I wanted to make him even more uncomfortable. Possibly payback for earlier.

"Oral sex, Stefan. That's what I was doing. I know this is a new concept for you."

"Did she-?" He started, but I couldn't let him talk about my girlfriend having an orgasm, because if you talk about something, then you've seen it in your head, and I didn't want my girlfriend to be in my brother's head anymore.

"No, she didn't," I finished impatiently, pinching my nose in irritation.

"Then why were you doing it?" Stefan inquired, clueless as ever.

"Because she deserves it!" I answered immediately.

"Okay...?" Stefan murmured, still perplexed at my answer.

As I went to turn and leave this foolishness and to find Elena so I could grovel, I felt Stefan's hand on the cuff of my jacket.

"Actually, Damon, I have a plan, but I don't know if you'll like it," Stefan spoke lowly, indicating with his head that we should go someplace more quiet to talk.

"Alright. Let's finish this," I vowed, letting him lead me away from the waiting room and into the gathering shadows of the night.


	53. Chapter 53

We're almost to the end! Apologies in advance as this chapter is VERY rough and trigger-inducing. Sorry.

Elena POV:

Much to my dismay, Damon had disappeared from the hospital's waiting room by the time I returned from visiting Jeremy and talking with Jenna. Instead, I found Stefan waiting for me, his historically handsome face drenched in concentration and worry.

"Stefan?" I asked, walking in front of him to get his attention.

"Oh, yes, sorry, Elena. I was just thinking," He excused briefly before standing and gesturing for me to follow him.

"I hate to ask, but Damon was my ride home," I hinted in embarrassment, but Stefan spared me with a wave of his hand.

"It's no problem, really. Let's go," He grinned boyishly and guided me out with a light hand on the small of my back.

When we had reached the parking lot, I thought he would have dropped his hold on my back, but he did not. For some odd reason, I felt uncomfortable and knotted all up in my stomach. It felt like I was walking into a dangerous situation but I couldn't explain why. I hesitated to get into the car, and then I berated myself for feeling this way. This was Stefan. He wouldn't hurt me. We chatted aimlessly and listened to the radio until we neared my house. But much to my surprise, Stefan did not stop and instead kept driving.

"We're not going to my house?" I asked evenly, though my heart began to beat fractionally faster.

Avoiding my eyes, Stefan explained in a detached voice,

"It's safer at the boarding house."

"And will Damon be there?" I tried to ask as innocently as possible.

At my question, Stefan looked over and gave me a sad smile.

"Not tonight," He responded, briefly examining me in an intrusive way that made me shiver before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Oh."

"He's watching over Jeremy so I can protect you tonight. In case Katherine comes around."

"Okay," I mumbled softly, feeling uneasy but trying to push the feeling aside.

Shakily, I exited the car when we arrived, and tried to keep my eyes on Stefan, making me feel more aware and in control. Thankfully, he strode past me and entered without looking back at all. Briefly, I looked out at the car and forest and thought about trying to walk home, but I knew that was probably more dangerous than spending the night with Stefan. If I tried walking home by myself, Stefan would catch up with me or Katherine would find me unprotected. I decided to put my trust in the devil I knew and walked inside. The fire was roaring, and Stefan was nowhere to be seen. I sagged in relief and headed up to Damon's room.

Quickly, I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth in Damon's bathroom. I couldn't help smiling at the fact that I had my own pajamas and toothbrush for his room. Despite everything, we were becoming a serious couple, and I couldn't have been happier. As soon as Katherine was out of the picture, we could continue getting closer, and Damon might even begin to believe that he deserved me. That he made me happy. I rinsed my mouth and looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath to calm myself. Everything was going to be alright. We just needed to survive Katherine, and we would be in the clear.

As I padded back into Damon's room, it was pitch black, which wasn't too strange because I remembered tripping and unplugging one lamp at some point when I first came in. Even though it would perhaps always feel stupid to do it, I knew Damon had clap-on lights, so I clapped, but none of the lights went on. I paused and tried to let my senses tell me where I was in the room. I clapped again. Still dark. Starting to feel sweaty with fear, I turned to go back to the bathroom and turn on the light, but I was disoriented and could not find the door. I let my hands trail on the walls until I reached the bed. Still feeling afraid, I hopped in and pulled the covers over my head as if they could protect me from evil monsters.

I listened to my loud breathing underneath the covers and waited for something to pop out at me. It was beyond creepy. Suddenly, there was a quick clap, and the lights flickered on. I twisted my head up and could see the lights on even from underneath Damon's sheets. Pulling the sheets from my face, I surveyed the room, noting that no one was there-

"Hey," Stefan spoke from a chair in the corner of the room.

"Fuck!" I screamed, jumping out of bed and inching towards the door.

I felt all the blood creep to my face as I realized how skimpy my pajamas were as I was used to sleeping in this with Damon. Belatedly, I tugged on Damon's oversized shirt and felt a cold breeze waft between my naked legs.

"What are you doing in here?" I tried to act politely, as if I wasn't afraid of him, but I was shaking and it was showing in my voice and posture.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," He whispered softly before pushing himself up off the chair.

Automatically, I backed up and felt the wall nudging my shoulder blades.

"Well, goodnight," I tried to chuckle, but the noise got caught in my throat and ended up sounding like a cough.

Stefan's mouth pulled into a thin line, and he quickly looked down at his feet, not moving towards the door. To hurry up his exit, I reached for the doorknob to open the door, but it wouldn't turn. The door was locked.

"That's weird. The door's locked," I explained, putting more pressure on the knob, which still refused to turn.

When I looked back at Stefan, he was looking at me intently and knowingly, not surprised that the door was locked.

"Did you lock the door, Stefan?" I whispered shakily.

Again, he looked down as if ashamed of himself and then looked back up, directly into my eyes.

"I did," He answered smoothly, without anger nor kindness.

"Why?" I asked, already dreading the answer.

"So you couldn't run," He replied, again without remorse or anger in his expression.

If anything, he looked relaxed but determined. Despite myself, I let out a deep exhale and glanced at the windows which he was blocking. I wanted to say something, to scream, anything, but I knew that nothing I said would stop him from what he was about to do. Clearly, he had already made up his mind, and there was no stopping him. That didn't mean that I wouldn't put up a fight though.

"Damon might come home," I offered, steeling myself for a viciously physical altercation.

In response, Stefan shrugged and offered a sad smile.

"I doubt it," He murmured, eyeing me in a predatory way.

Very, very slowly, his hands fell to his belt as he began to noisily unbuckle it. My mouth instantly dried, and my stomach revolted immediately. Without thinking, I leapt across the bed, but before I could reach the other side, I felt a hand dragging me back by my leg.

"Stefan! Please! No!" I sobbed, writhing and wiggling desperately in his hold.

"Hold still. Please, Elena. I'm so sorry," He huffed, pushing my upper body down onto the bed and holding it there effortlessly.

With his other hand free, he frantically pulled his belt through the loops and loudly dropped it on the floor. When I heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper being undone, I screamed out again. The room tilted sideways in my terror as I struggled not to pass out on the bed. No matter his strength, I kicked back at him and continued to fight with every fiber of my being.

 _Not again. Not again. Not again_ , I thought to myself.

"Please! Stop!" I begged, reaching for the sheets and trying to pull myself away.

"I'm sorry, Elena. Just hold still. Please," He had the gall to sound like he was in despair, as if I wasn't being tortured by him right then.

"Please! Please! Not again! Please! Not again!" I screamed and fought, knowing that I would get nowhere fast. This was happening whether I wanted it to or not.

Gently, I felt my underwear being dragged down my legs at a sluggish rate. When I felt the body-warmed cotton brush against my bare ankles, I let out a hoarse noise that was so filled with anguish and fear it even made Stefan pause. I didn't understand why he was taking his time. Last time, it was so rough and so fast that at least I was spared the torture of it. This time, he was going slow on purpose to inflict maximum psychological damage.

And even though I was alone in this house with Stefan and knew he would not come for me, I screamed out his name. I screamed his name because I loved him and because I was sorry this would impact our relationship and I was scared and I wanted him with me. I screamed because I wanted him to save me.

"DAMON! DAMON, PLEASE, HELP ME! DAMON DAMON DAMON DAMON!" I screamed at the tops of my lungs as Stefan actually faltered in holding me down.

"He's not here, Elena," Stefan reminded me softly, urging me to lay down fully on my stomach while using his other hand to pull Damon's t-shirt up my back.

"DAMON! DAMON, I LOVE YOU! DAMON, PLEASE!" I continued to scream, ignoring the pain in my throat and the gagging sensation that screaming so loud for such a long time inevitably brought.

I wouldn't close my eyes and take it this time. This time, I would go down fighting, even if it meant Stefan had to kill me. I would make Damon proud of me at how hard I fought, and he would know that I wasn't betraying him and how I found so hard for our love. Even to my death.

But it was over, and nothing had happened. There was shouting and the breaking of furniture, but I had bypassed all those noises just to survive this moment. The door burst open, and Stefan immediately lifted himself off me, gently lifting my underwear back into place and stepping away. I heard someone familiar speaking to me, but I couldn't understand anything. I stood up and didn't even bother looking for where Stefan went. I stepped away from the bed and realized the room was tilting again and that I was going to faint. In fact, I had fallen and not realized it until I felt the pain of the wood flooring smashing into my face and hands. Quietly, I whimpered and crawled away to a corner where I huddled in on myself, crying softly.

"Elena? Elena, look at me. It's me, it's okay now," I heard in a soothing voice and risked looking up from the safety of my arms.

"Damon?" I cried joyfully. I had never been relieved in my whole life.

Here he was, just like I had wanted, crouched on the floor protectively, holding his arms out to me to take. It was almost as if he had heard my screams and came to rescue me.

"Yes, I'm here. I'm so sorry," He spoke in a tearful voice, gathering me up in his arms and crushing me to his chest.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," I repeated into his chest, crying with the impact of intense fear and happiness and despair all at once.

"Go put Katherine in the cellar. And double lock it," Damon ordered to someone behind him.

I raised my head to see who he was talking to, and I shrieked again when I realized Stefan was still standing in the room with us.

"Damon! Stefan's behind you!" I warned him, trying to tug Damon to safety.

"I know. He...we needed Katherine to believe that you were in danger. Then we could draw her here, and I could vervain her while Stefan...while he pretended to-," Damon explained.

Immediately, I shoved him away in disgust.

"What? You knew Stefan was going to rape me?" I asked in a low voice that was crackly from all the screaming and crying.

Thankfully, Stefan had left at that moment and was presumably putting Katherine's vervained body into the cellar. He probably knew I never wanted to see his face again. When I realized the door was open, I started running towards it, but Damon intercepted me, grabbing my arms so I couldn't get away.

"He was never going to rape you. We just needed Katherine and you to think he was going to, but I would have never let that happen. Katherine needed to think you were really afraid, and your fear sold it. Otherwise, she would know she was walking into a trap," Damon panted with effort it took to keep me still, but I wouldn't stop moving.

I could feel my heart absolutely breaking. I physically felt our relationship crumbling between my outstretched hands, and I needed to just run. Run and run away until I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Let me go!" I shouted, throwing my body weight in different directions in an effort to be released.

Finally, Damon let me go, and I sprung out the door and thundered down the stairs, nearly falling several times in my hurry. When I was outside, I continued towards the road, even though I knew Damon was right behind me. He let me run all the way back to my house. On the front lawn, I collapsed from exhaustion, and when Damon reached to help me up, I recoiled with such intensity that it made my stomach lurch violently. Turning over, I retched into the grass until my insides were throbbing.

"I'm sorry," Damon whispered from beside me in the vomit-covered grass.

Looking up at him through my sweaty and disheveled hair, I blinked slowly and took a deep breath. I felt the cold, dewy grass beneath my fingers, and realized I was still only wearing Damon's t-shirt and my underwear. My feet were aching and bloody from running the entire way there. Without thinking, I savagely tore the shirt off my body and flung it to him, not caring that I was completely naked except for my underwear. He watched me with wide, tear-stained eyes as I limped to the door. I managed to get myself inside, and before I closed the door, I drank in Damon's still form, clutching his t-shirt in my front lawn, and said in the deadliest and most serious voice,

"I will never love you again."


	54. Chapter 54

Only two more chapters and one epilogue to go! Thanks for sticking this out with me!

Damon POV:

With the utmost sorrow, I watched Elena enter her house, into safety. From me. From Stefan. From our world. I knew what I had done was cruel, but I didn't know how else to keep her safe. Keep her alive. Even though I had ruined whatever future we could have had, it was all worth it at the end of the day if Elena was granted the chance to have a normal and full human life. And even though I had tried so, so hard not listen, I had taken what Stefan had said to Elena when he was locked up in the cellar after losing it at the Miss Mystic event.

 _"Damon...I know you love him, but being with either of us, it's like asking to be put in harm's way. We're not good for you. You should start over. Focus on being human."_

If hurting her enough to make her hate me was what made her move on with her life and forget about all this, then I could justify what had happened. Otherwise, the pain was indescribable and hitting me like a crushing blow every time I inhaled. Part of me was begging to turn my emotions off to get some relief, but I knew I did not deserve it after what I'd done to Elena. I deserved every moment of pain and then some. It was part of a penance I would never pay off but that would remain with me forever. If anything, what I did to Elena, by allowing myself to go along with this plan where she basically re-lived her nightmare in live-action, only furthered my inherent belief that Elena was too good, too pure of heart for me. She would have never allowed herself to be a part of this, but I did. And I was a monster for using her safety as a means to terrorize her.

"Damon?" I heard from behind me.

Turning around, I saw Stefan standing not too far off, looking just as dismal as me. With one more lingering look at Elena's house, I followed him back to the boarding house. We still had work to do. It was time to end this once and for all.

"Wake up, Mrs. Satan!" I taunted, kicking at the unconscious and bound figure at my feet.

There she was, in all her glory-Katherine Pierce. Finally, she was at my mercy as she laid at my feet after her clothes being doused with vervain, her body being injected with vervain, and her limbs being tied with, you guessed it, vervain ropes. With a groan, Katherine rolled over and looked up at me with squinting eyes.

"Good morning, handsome. Where's your better-looking brother?" She asked with a gravely voice and glowing eyes.

"Right here," Stefan answered, stepping from behind me and appearing just as resigned to killing this bitch as I was.

At least I was excited to kill our ex-girlfriend and sire. He could have at least put on a smile. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity which Stefan needed to recognize and celebrate with me.

"Time to die!" I sang merrily, pulling out my wooden stake and waving it in front of her with flourish.

Realizing there was no other exit for her, Katherine began to struggle in her bindings, and her mouth curled into a snarl.

"I will kill you both for this! I will come back to haunt you somehow! This isn't over. It'll never be over. We will all be together," She threatened, wiggling around, which made me laugh.

Stefan sighed at my antics, so I handed him the stake.

"Would you like to do the honors? You always say I never do anything nice for you."

"Don't! Stefan!" Katherine growled, but Stefan begrudgingly took the weapon, inspecting it with a frown.

"I actually have some questions, first," Stefan answered after a brief pause, and then it was my turn to sigh.

"Jesus, fine, I'll do it," I groaned, reaching for the stake, but Stefan swatted my hand away and moved slightly away from me, moving closer to Katherine.

"What was your part in all this?" He asked softly, crouching down and looking into her eyes.

"Stefan, first rule of cold blooded murder: never make eye contact! Amateur move," I commented, leaning up against the wall and watching this play out.

"Untie me, my love. We can run away from here. I'll never bother Elena again," Katherine promised in her most charitable and childish tone.

I scoffed loudly at her attempt, which made her glare menacingly at me. Stefan ignored us both and pushed on.

"Why did you come back? Why did you do any of this?" He asked more firmly, clutching the stake surely in his hand.

"So we could be together again. I saw how Damon had already embraced his darkness, and I just needed you to realize that the darkness you were so evading was still a part of you," She explained simply, giving Stefan the most endearing set of googly eyes.

"That's fucked up, to say the least," I scoffed again and crossed my arms over my chest.

"So why involve yourself at all? I would have gladly stepped away from Elena forever which would have left me alone for you to pursue," Stefan murmured, trying to figure out Katherine's grand scheme.

"Yes, you were leaving which was according to plan, but then this idiot had to go and fall in love with her, so I had to intervene," Katherine sighed impatiently, shooting me another annoyed glance.

"What did you do?" Stefan asked, pushing her onto her back and pinning her down to the ground.

Unafraid, Katherine smiled up at him softly.

"I lulled you into a trance so you would drain her. That night you two fooled around and then fell asleep in your bed. I came in and ripped her open and then compelled you through your dreams to drink from her. Of course, to make Damon think you did it to her, I had to rub you down with her blood, which I did not mind at all," She laughed and winked up at Stefan who was the picture of horror and relief.

"I didn't do it myself?" Stefan asked with a voice laced with naked hope.

"No, I did it to make Damon avenge Elena, so you would fight and leave Mystic Falls, which you did, so I could find you, which I did. She was supposed to die so that Damon would mourn her but have no other reason to stay there anymore and would leave Mystic Falls, but she managed to get to Damon first. Another setback. So I compelled Elena to want you which would cause Damon to leave her and Mystic Falls. Voila! Two super hot birds, one stupid stone."

"And the first night? When I raped her? That was you too!" Stefan laughed with exuberance and relief.

By this point, I was fully invested and hanging on their every word. This sordid tale was unfolding with so many twists and turns that I couldn't keep up. At Stefan's accusation, however, Katherine's nose wrinkled in disagreement.

"No, my love. That was all you," She spoke proudly, beaming up at him.

"But you said-," Stefan began, sitting back on his heels.

"I said I made you drink from her, but I never made you rape her," Katherine confirmed, and even I could tell that she wasn't lying this time.

"You forced yourself on Elena all on your own, Stefan. I did nothing," Katherine reiterated slowly and with an air of finality.

She had no reason to lie. If Stefan could do something so heinous, so awful with no provocation from her, then Katherine would be correct in her assumption that Stefan would never be fully removed from the darkness inside him. The same darkness inside of me and inside of Katherine which bonded us together. Realizing this, Stefan stumbled back in shock. His features were frozen with grief, and his hand unclenched, making the stake fall from his grasp. In a flash, Katherine's ties ripped apart, and at the same time, Katherine and I both dove for it. Although I wished that the moment would have lasted longer, in seconds, I had Katherine pinned down again, and my hands were driving the stake straight into her still and cold heart. Sitting back, I used the wall to help myself up, suddenly feeling more tired and old than I had ever felt in my whole existence. There she was, in all her glory-Katherine Pierce: departed from this world and dead for the second and last time.


	55. Chapter 55

Final chapter!

Elena POV:

"Elena! Hurry up! We're about to take pictures!" I heard the bubbly and yet menacing tone of Caroline from downstairs as I sat on the edge of my bed sulking.

I huffed in annoyance and asked myself for the millionth time why I had ever agreed to go to this stupid homecoming dance after everything that happened to me this year. In my opinion, there was no cause for celebration. Nearly two weeks ago, I had almost been attacked by my ex-boyfriend Stefan, was almost killed by his ex-girlfriend and sire Katherine, who was supposed to be dead, and had my heart broken by my now ex-boyfriend Damon who subjected me to relive my nightmare in order to kill his shared sire and ex-girlfriend. In short, I was really fucking tired and confused. All I wanted to do was mope in my despair and feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, once Bonnie and Caroline were (mysteriously) alerted to the fact that Damon and I were over due to absolutely disastrous circumstances, they refused to let me continue with my self-imposed pity parties anymore. Tonight was the first night since then where I was going to be in public for a prolonged period of time and expected to have fun.

"Be down in a second!" I called down drowsily, eyeing the beautiful but deflated-looking dress laid out on my bed that I was supposed to wear tonight.

It was long, red, and silk. My hair and makeup were already done to make me look like a classic Hollywood movie star, but I felt anything but that. It was hard enough not to cry due to my expensive makeup and hair job, but putting on the dress seemed even more daunting. When a timid knock sounded at my bedroom door, I sighed in defeat. It seemed as though my intentions had been discovered by either Caroline or Bonnie who was presently there to force me into my dress and extravagant heels.

"Come in," I spoke quietly, smoothing over the sensual material of my dress with my thumbs.

With my head bowed in embarrassment, I first ignored my visitor as the door opened, and I heard someone walk into the room, closing the door behind them. Strangely, they did not speak, so I lifted my eyes from my dress and saw very expensive-looking and polished, black boots. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion before I followed those boots to the matching black pants and then to the crisp and clean white shirt and familiar leather jacket.

"Damon," I breathed in initial excitement and then immediately bowed my head again lest I am tempted to forgive him after getting caught in those icy blue eyes.

"Hey," He answered semi-awkwardly.

We lapsed into silence momentarily until he came and sat next to me on the bed. If I had more energy, I would have banished him or shoved him away from me, but now I just felt so lethargic and hopeless about our love. Yes, I still loved him, even after everything that he did to me. And yes, I hated him and was disgusted by him almost equally. No matter what, he wasn't getting me back. I knew he was still my soul mate, but I decided to only love him from a distance until I died. That's what he deserved and nothing more.

"Why aren't you dressed?" He asked and nodded towards the limp dress in my hands.

I shrugged and then took a deep breath with a subsequently shaky exhale. Tears welled up in my eyes as I fought to keep them there. When I felt his hand on my shoulder, the tears were released, and soon I was shaking throughout my whole body as I transformed my confusion and trauma into gasping, reverberating sobs.

"Don't cry," I heard him whisper before pulling me into his arms.

I didn't resist him because I didn't want to. My body was called to him even though my head screamed at me for being so weak. So what? I was weak, and I didn't care anymore. One hand tipped up my face while the other stroked my hair in measured strokes. This is where I was meant to be.

"You hurt me," I accused sadly before bowing my head to escape his tormented gaze.

"I did, and I'm sorry. Now tell me how to fix it," Damon beseeched, grabbing my face and pointing it back up towards his.

"You can't," I gasped and leaned away but did not release myself.

"Then I'll go," He concluded with watery eyes and a trembling mouth.

"What?" I croaked in horror. I did not want him to go.

"You need to heal...from what Stefan did...from what I did. You need to live a human life, and when the time's right...maybe we'll be together again someday."

I belatedly realized I had stopped crying at this point. Instead of agreeing to his plan, I sat up and slipped into my dress, not caring that Damon was most definitely watching me undress and then redress right in front of him. Thankfully, he did not make a move to touch me. When I reached around for the zipper, my fingers collided with Damon's as he swiftly zipped up the dress for me. Again, the emotions smashed against me like an enormous wind, and I struggled to gather my tears.

"What about Katherine?" I asked, watching Damon watch me through the mirror on my vanity.

"She's dead. Like permanently dead," He clarified with a small smile.

I turned around.

"Dead?"

"Yep," He confirmed, popping the 'p', "Staked and burned to ash for good measure."

"And...Stefan?" I ventured shakily, causing Damon's grin to turn sour at my questioning.

"Gone. Ran off West somewhere. He won't bother you anymore," Damon sighed and ran his hand lightly down my silk-covered hip, making me shudder in pleasure.

"And you're leaving now?" I asked in a crackly voice, not bothering to hide my trepidation at our separation.

Damon nodded and walked towards the door, turning the handle gingerly.

"I'll be around, though," He chuckled with a pained expression as he opened the door, gesturing for me to leave.

But I didn't go out the door because I knew this would be goodbye. Until next time...which could be years and years or just a week. I had no idea.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered, not daring to raise my voice as I walked closer to him, closer to goodbye.

Closer to a future as a human and nothing else.

"So you can heal, Elena," He explained with gritted teeth, obviously in great pain at this idea.

"I want to heal with you," I responded hastily, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers.

Silently, Damon noted our intertwined fingers and sighed.

"I love you," He somberly told me as he gazed deep into my eyes, possibly trying to reach my soul. My pleading would be for nothing. He had already made up his mind.

"I love you, too."

I swung our hands once, twice, and then I let go, thereby letting go of him. Until next time.


	56. Chapter 56

Epilogue

Elena POV:

4 years later

 _I stumbled back from the homecoming dance with a goofy grin. Strangely, I felt closure from me and Damon's talk. Somehow, I knew that we would be together again one day. And a full night of dancing and laughing with my friends didn't hurt either. Closing the door, I sighed in relief when I saw my bed and hurriedly slipped out of my dress. I flung myself beneath the covers and squirmed around for a few seconds to find a comfortable position. Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming peace descend on me, and I realized that it was not my own peace. Someone was making me feel this way._

 _Opening my eyes, I saw Damon standing above me and leaning over me by my bedside. I smiled gently and reached for him. As I grasped his arm, he slid my necklace tenderly off my neck until I was completely vulnerable before him. Neither of us felt afraid. There was implicit trust between us, and I was grateful for the warmth and love that Damon was putting into my mind. When he grasped my chin and angled my face so he could stare into my eyes, I offered no resistance. If anything, I was curious of what he was going to do._

 _Softly, he compelled me,_

 _"Elena, you will go to sleep every night knowing that you are loved and protected by me. You will know that I will always be watching over you, no matter where you go. I will always be with you. I want you to follow your heart and let yourself be challenged, never giving up in the face of adversity. You are stronger than you believe. You will get everything you have ever wanted because you deserve it. You will never feel lonely because I will be close to you, even if you cannot see me. You will heal yourself and inspire others to do the same. Then I will be with you. Remember: this is not truly goodbye. We will be together again. Soon. When you open your eyes as you wake tomorrow, your future begins, and you are very excited for it."_

Whenever I think back to that night 4 years ago to this very day, I feel so reassured about seeing Damon again. Thanks to his compulsion, I went through the rest of my high school experience with ease, even with his and Stefan's total removal from my life. My friends and I continued to grow and bond, even as we all went our separate for college. Caroline pursued her dream in broadcast journalism at the University of Virginia while Tyler and Matt attended the much closer Whitmore College to play football. Even though Bonnie was torn at first, she decided to really follow her Gran's steps to become a full-fledged witch and joined a coven on the outskirts of a small town in Mississippi. As for me, well, I ended up in New York somehow, and I love it! I have never felt so alive before, being surrounded by thousands of people with such infinite possibilities. I still return home all the time to see Jeremy and Jenna and all my family and friends, but my heart belongs to this big, bustling city. At least for the time being. I'm currently finishing my degree in Creative Writing and leading a support group for sexual assault victims. At first, it was incredibly hard to share my story, and I did have to edit out the more supernatural parts of it. But as time went on, I got stronger and began to speak in front of more and more people. It was exhilarating. With my newly acquired Creative Writing skills, I penned a lot about my reflections on my own experiences with assault, and much to my surprise, they were immediately bought by a big publisher and sent out all over the United States. I have no doubt, though, that a large quantity of those sales were from my very own family and friends in Mystic Falls who have been nothing but supportive to me after I finally told them my story. Now, I am a survivor.

Like every time before a big speech on being a sexual assault survivor, I feel the nerves in my belly and work on my breathing exercises. As the lights dim, however, I catch a glimpse of those familiar black boots from the first row. Instantly, my breath lodges itself in my throat at the possibility of seeing him again, after so much time. And at such a sordid event. I briefly congratulate myself for coming this far and for all the progress that I've made. I remind myself that Damon's presence doesn't change anything about what I will say. If anything, now I feel lighter with him being here. He makes me feel giddy and grounded all at once. The curtain is pulled away as I confidently stroll out to the podium, my speech in my relaxed grip. Putting the speech on the wood surface, I brush a strand of my short, straight hair behind my ear out of habit and blow out a quiet breath. It's show time.

"Thank you all for coming. My name is Elena Gilbert, and I'm a survivor."

...

I am not surprised when he approaches me just as I'm gathering all my things backstage. The speech went amazing, and I even managed to sneak a couple glances down at Damon as I spoke. Whenever our eyes met, his gorgeous lips would pull up into a soft smile, and his eyes twinkled just like I had remembered. I even feel his presence as I stand up and turn to face him. As expected, he looks exactly the same-not having aged a day since I last saw him four years ago. His hair is messy and dark like a horse's mane, and his bright blue eyes and hypnotizing gaze pierce my chest in the best way. I love him.

"Nice job up there," He murmurs, slowly coming closer.

Thankfully, I have had a lot of time to know the opposite sex, so his seduction does not faze me like it used to. Intentionally, I lean back on the desk and stretch out my limbs with a haughty smile. I know exactly what I'm doing, and so does Damon, judging by the noticeable darkening in his eyes.

"Lots of practice," I reply, tossing his airy smugness back at him.

He stops and lets his eyes wander everywhere until they reach my face. My heart skips in elation when he simply stares with such adoration. He's also taking inventory of everything that has changed, every minute detail, and I briefly hope that he is proud of me. That he still wants me.

"Wanna get out of here?" Damon asks, and I nod immediately.

"I know the perfect place."

...

As the waiter leaves our table, I cross and uncross my legs in an attempt to resist my impulses when Damon's body heat is radiating so close to mine. I just want to jump over this table and attack him, and he knows it too, which makes me even crazier. Still, we're in a public place, so I fight for control.

"This place is cute," He says, looking around and nodding to himself.

I am lit up by his compliment.

"Thanks. I come here to write all the time. It's really close to my apartment," I muse, pursing my lips at the mention of my apartment.

I really hope I'm not being too transparent, but I can't wait to get him alone. And naked. He chuckles at my obviousness, which makes me blush and heat up at the same time. I'm falling even more in love with him with every passing second.

"We'll go soon," He promises, "Let's have coffee first."

All too soon, our coffee arrives, and we hold hands across the table like a normal couple. We sip our coffees and stare longingly at each other until one of us becomes shy at the attention and has to look away. I feel his thumb caressing my soft hands, and my whole world centers on that point for a moment.

"Elena?"

"Huh?" I whisper, looking up at him.

I think I missed his question because I was so busy melting at his gentle touch.

"Do you want to hear the bad news or the good news first?"

My heart instantly sinks into my stomach. Of course he's only here to deliver bad news. I should have known.

"Bad, I suppose," I exhale and brace myself.

Damon also physically prepares himself before looking into my eyes with the most serious expression.

"Stefan is dead."

"What?" I gasp.

I was not expecting that. And I had to admit that I was feeling a loss, even after all he had done to me. Damon nods heavily at my remark and watches my face for a total meltdown. But I am stronger now. I'm still sad, but I can handle another death of someone formerly close to me.

"He couldn't live with the guilt any longer. I'm sorry," Damon admits, and I'm suddenly afraid at how much older he appears as he delivers this news.

"I'm sorry, too. You lost a brother," I concede, rubbing my hands over his in a comforting manner.

"He never wanted to be like this. You were the only good thing that came from being what he was."

I tilt my head thoughtfully.

"I guess you're right. I would be dead right now if he hadn't saved me," I acknowledge with a tight grin, thinking back to that fateful night where my parents died but I lived.

We are both silent as we ponder Stefan's life and mourn our loss.

"And the good news?" I ask with hesitation.

Damon answers me with a gleeful smile, showing all his teeth.

"The good news...is that I'm going to marry you."

"Excuse me?" I gasp as I choke on my coffee.

Thankfully, he gives me a moment to compose myself before I look at him questioningly.

"You're going to marry me?" I ask dumbly.

I have no words. It is so unexpected.

"Well, not right now. But I will eventually," He vows, giving me a sly smile and quirking his eyebrow at me, sending my heart into overdrive.

"How do you know I even want to marry you?" I tease with a small smile.

"Don't you?" He asks with a rare show of uncertainty.

I lean forward and kiss him soundly before sitting back in my chair.

"I do," I assure him.

"Then let's go home."

...

The walk back to my apartment is uneventful, which leaves me completely unsure of how to proceed. I reluctantly let go of Damon's hand to unlock the door and gesture for him to go inside. He gives me a sultry smile before entering, which makes my knees feel all wobbly and my stomach swish swish with nervousness. As soon as the door closes, it feels like the dormant electricity between me and him sizzles and pops. We both run to the other at the same time, with our lips mashing together in a demanding and rough kiss. Our teeth gnaw at each other lips and lick at the other's neck and ears like two wild animals in heat. My hands are grabbing his butt while my hips shamelessly mimic what I want him to do to me. His hands are in my hair, then cupping my face, then kneading my breasts through my shirt. Briefly, he pulls away and I scratch his neck in retaliation for being so cruel as to separate his lips from mine.

"No tour?" He teases, noting the forgotten furnishings surrounding us.

I shake my head in all serious, grabbing his arm and dragging him into my bedroom.

"Later," I promise in a low voice, pushing him onto my bed and climbing on top of him.

He doesn't argue with me as I plunder his hot, wet mouth with my tongue while I expertly unbutton his shirt with quick fingers. I push his shirt off his body and use the opportunity to kiss down his chest to his heaving abs. When I get to his pants, I unbuckle the belt hurriedly, tossing it aside before I nearly tear his pants open, which makes him laugh. I give him a dark smile as I unmercifully pull out his large erection. Without warning, I suck him viciously while stroking his testes with the hand that isn't jacking off his shaft where my mouth doesn't reach. I hear him swearing and nearly lose my grip as he writhes around my bed in his pleasured agony.

"Oh...oh, shit. Elena," Damon begs, his hands moving my hair out of my face so he can see the steady movement of my hand twisting while his dick disappears into my mouth again and again.

Leaning back, I release him from my mouth, spitting on him for good measure and batting his dick with my hand gently so he bounces from left to right. His head falls back, so I pull his pants the rest of the way off. He discards his shirt and watches me hungrily while I undress, caressing myself with practiced ease. When we're both naked, I tumble us onto the bed and kiss him with all the yearning that I've felt for him for the past years. He restlessly thrusts his erection against my leg, leaving a trail of slime over my thigh. We both shift so he can look into my eyes as he grips his dick and settles it over my unfurling sex.

"I love you," I tell him, grabbing onto his biceps and trying to press as much of myself against him as possible.

"You are my life," He responds and pushes forward, finally completing me for the first time since we parted.

When he's filled me completely, he lets out a ragged breath and rests his forehead against mine. I fight the urge to arch my back and wiggle my butt to get him to move because we're having such a beautiful moment. So gingerly, he tilts my head back and kisses my mouth like I am some sort of goddess. And I do feel like a goddess with his reverent treatment. We move as one entity, giving and taking, pushing and pulling without words. Our eyes watch the other's face with such exultation, drinking in how our features contort with pleasure at each movement.

"Elena...I want to bite you," He whispers in my ear, sending my heart into overdrive at the thought.

"So do it," I whisper back and wrap my legs tightly around his waist with my heels resting below the curve of his ass.

"Where?" Damon groans in a gruff voice, and I can tell he's struggling to concentrate on my words.

"Here," I direct, taking one of my hands and pushing up my naked breast in sacrifice.

"Thank fuck," He gasps before his lips and then teeth descend on the top of my breast.

He briefly suckles the skin and licks his intended target before his fangs pierce the skin and his mouth sucks fiercely at the wound. With each pull of his lips, my inner walls clutch and withdraw periodically around him. When he pulls away, I'm gasping and slightly dizzy, but I've never felt more elated in my life.

"You taste amazing," Damon grumbles, pulling me up and on top of him as he kneels on the bed, then as he stands, which leaves me slightly puzzled.

"Use my shoulders," He directs as he puts my hands on his broad shoulders and then grips the fleshy curves of my hips.

I suddenly realize what he wants me to do, and I smile as I arch my back, letting my upper body and head fall back, and use the leverage of his shoulders to grind against his hard, sweaty body. This position is so ideal that I begin to see stars within seconds of riding him vertically, despite the physical exertion that causes my thighs to burn and my back to ache. Without protest, Damon supports my frenzied movements with one hand on my ass and the other on the small of my back, making sure I don't accidentally fall off him with all my determined bucking.

When my orgasm finally hits me, I rise up and grab onto his messy hair in a merciless hold while struggling to keep my eyes open. By keeping my eyes on his throughout my climax, I am letting him see the most vulnerable part of myself. Over the years of Damon's absence, I had plenty of sexual partners, but I never let them look into my eyes as I climaxed, always somehow knowing that Damon would come back for me some day.

"I'm yours," I gasp and throw my head back after succumbing to aftershocks of my orgasm.

Not missing a beat, Damon plummets us to the bed and pulls my knees up to his shoulders as he continually thrusts. His orgasm takes him by surprise as he straightens out above me like he's been shocked electrically, and his hips pump erratically against mine. His fingers brush my hair off my shoulders and face as his face nuzzles into my neck. I feel his lips blowing over my ear before he murmurs,

"I'm yours."

...

We lay in bed afterwards, intertwined and completely naked and at peace. I feel so strong with him beside me, and I want to scream out how love has won at last and that nothing can stop us now. My spirit is young again and giddy, but I manage to stay serene as I trace the contours of his face while he runs his thumb over the slopes of my body while occasionally trailing his thumb down much further, making my entire body twitch, which makes us both laugh. Suddenly, he is quiet and looking introspective, so I slide my hand behind his head and briefly taste his lips. _Yep, still delicious_ , I think.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask in a whisper.

"Us," He whispers back with a soft smile that makes my heart dance.

"What about us?"

"Just thinking about...what an odd journey it took to get here," Damon reminisces, his free hand smoothing over my hair.

"I'd do it all again, you know," I remind him as I stroke his hair and wiggle closer to his warmth.

"Even knowing all the pain you would endure?" He asks, suddenly unsure.

"Every road led me back to you, and that's when I stopped fighting this feeling. When I realized you were my destination. All along," I say and snuggle into his chest.

Damon seems content with my answer and nods into my hair.

"Go to sleep, you wise old owl."

"Damon?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe tomorrow you could put it in my butt?" I sigh and pinch his naked cheek in emphasis.

His answering laughter will sustain my soul for as long as I should live... which may be forever.

The end.


End file.
